Breaking News of Divorce

How to Protect Your Children from Parental Conflict During Divorce

 

Divorcing couples may not agree on much but one thing that they can probably agree on is that they both want what is best for their children. Divorce is a very difficult and stressful time and children will feel the toll of divorce as well. The good news is there are some ways that you can protect your children from parental conflict during divorce.

 

If your children are old enough to understand what divorce really means, make sure that you are not getting into details with them about your frustrations with your ex. Even if you have teenage children and they ask you why you are angry with your ex; it is best not to vent to your children.

 

Just as you would not want your spouse to badmouth you to your children; it is best to have the same respect for your spouse as well.  Children are very sensitive to their environment, and it is best to create a safe and healthy environment for them. 

 

It is Best to Avoid Parental Alienation

 

Parental alienation happens when one parent influences a child into disengaging with the other parent, usually by speaking negatively about the other parent. The parent who is speaking negatively about the other parent may also refuse to coordinate time sharing and be uncooperative in the co-parenting process.

 

That is going to be extremely difficult on children because children want to be loved by both parents, they want to be accepted by both parents and they want to be loyal to both parents.

 

Parental alienation can also result in serious psychological and emotional issues that may impact your child custody case.

 

If you're struggling with divorce and need someone to talk to, reach out to a trusted friend or consider seeking the help of a qualified therapist or counselor.

 

Do Not Deny Parenting Time to Your Ex

 

No matter how old your children are children need both of their parents to be involved in their lives.  It would not be fair to keep your children from the other parent.  If you are trying to punish your ex by keeping them from their children, it also punishes your children.  Children do not deserve to be placed in the middle of a parental battle. 

 

Learn How to Effectively Communicate with Your Ex

 

Part of the co-parenting process is to be flexible. The more flexible you are, the easier it will be to get along with your ex and ensure that your children are not impacted negatively by the divorce process. The are parenting courses available online where you can learn ways to effectively co-parent and there are co-parenting apps that both you and your ex can use to communicate about the children and share documents, events, and calendar all in one place.  So look for resources and ways in which co-parenting can be made easier for you.

 

Speak to a Manhattan Divorce Mediator to Help with Parental Conflict

 

You do not have to figure it all out alone.  Reach out to Sabra Law Group today to schedule a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Round-Up of Recent Celebrity Divorces

Are you aware of the recent big celebrity divorces? After all, divorce isn’t just for everyday folks. Those we idolize in the entertainment industry, famous politicians, actors, singers, reality stars, and uber-billionaires get divorced too. 

Indeed, it’s been reported that around 50 percent of all marriages will end in divorce or separation. Celebrities are people too, and under a lot of pressure and stress from everyday life  and more from being under the microscope.

Sometimes marriages last just months and other times years and even decades. Whether a spouse was cheating or just fell out of love or due to financial strain, marriages end for all sorts of reasons. But the fact of the matter is, divorce for many Americans is prevalent (including those we idolize). So it can be comforting knowing that you’re not the only one going through the process. 

Some notable recent celebrity divorces include the following: 

  • After over 10 years after famous journalist Maria Shriver sought to end her then-25-year marriage to Arnold Schwarzenegger, the once-governor of California and actor, a Los Angeles judge finally granted their divorce. 

  • The billionaire co-founder of Microsoft, Bill Gates, divorced from hubby Melinda Gates after 27 years of marriage. However, the duo maintained that they’d continue working together on their philanthropist venture at the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. 

  • After almost 24 years, rapper icon and music producer Dr. Dre finalized his divorce with a $100 million settlement to Nicole Young.  

  • The creator of the hit show ‘Gossip Girl’, Josh Schwartz, filed for divorce after 13 years of marriage. Schwartz is reportedly worth $70 million. 

  • Reality TV star Kim Kardashian West had asked to be “legally single” as a form of separation from her ex partner, singer Kanye West. The pair married in May 2014 and have four children together. 

The good news is there are qualified experts to assist you with any family law issue you have. You don’t have to suffer in silence if you’re unhappy. Protect your assets, ensure you're fairly compensated, get full or partial custody of your children, and more. Put simply, end the pain and suffering and move forward with your life. 

If you’re considering a divorce or a prenuptial agreement or have a child custody or child support issue or suffering from domestic violence, contact the Sabra Law Group in Manhattan at (646) 472-7971. 

Did you know that Manhattan divorce rates are less than other states?

Divorced

Did you know that Manhattan divorce rates are less than other states? Yes, that’s right, according to the U.S. Census Bureau government statistics. New Yorkers, it turns out, despite having stressful high-intensity jobs, tend to get divorced less. In fact, the New York divorce rate is even less than the national rate. By comparison, other big states such as Texas, are dubbed as statistically higher rates of divorce. 

Still, New Yorkers do get divorced like in other states. Two high-profile Big Apple divorces included Bethany Frankel from “Real Housewives of New York City”, and actress Mary-Kate Olsen from “Full House.”    

Some common reasons why people get divorced include: financial problems, infidelity, physical and emotional abuse, simply losing attraction over time or falling out of love, constantly arguing and disagreements, poor communication, less physical intimacy, not spending enough quality time together, not being on the same page about kids, sudden addictions, and more. 

If you do end up getting a divorce or there may be the possibility to salvage the relationship "if only" there was a way to protect yourself financially, then it is critical that you choose a great family law attorney familiar with both divorce and prenuptial agreements in your area.

Find one that has both the skills and experience (and results) to service your needs. One with direct experience in the region you’re from and that you feel comfortable with. After all, family law can be very complicated and sensitive, and can have a huge lasting impact on your financial and family structure.  

Thinking about getting a divorce in New York City, Queens, Long Island, Brooklyn, or nearby? Contact the Sabra Law Group in Manhattan at (646) 472-7971. 

 

How to Tackle the Biggest Divorce Challenge: Telling Your Children About Divorce

telling children about divorce

Telling your children about divorce is one of the most difficult situations to be put in; the hardest part is initially breaking the news of divorce to your children.

 

Follow the 5 tips below on telling your children about divorce

 

  1. Carefully determine what you will say to your children:  it is essential to prepare for the divorce conversation prior to having it with your children.  Get out your notebook or laptop and write your thoughts out so you can visually see them.  Once you have gotten all of your thoughts on paper or a notepad on your computer, determine what the most important key points are and make a separate list.  Make sure that you can create a script that also produces a nurturing environment for your children.  Anticipate what questions your children may have and write down all possible scenarios with possible answers.
  2. Convey that the divorce has nothing to do with them:  this is one of the most important things that you can communicate with your children.  Children (especially young children), often think that they did something to cause the divorce or break up the family; this is why it is so essential to ask your children how they are feeling and ensure that they do not have any feelings of self-blame.
  3. Be prepared for any type of reaction from your children:  sometimes children will show their reactions immediately, and sometimes, children may display a delayed reaction; it is important to recognize delayed reactions when they do happen.  If you notice your children acting out or becoming distant or appearing depressed, it is best to sit down with your children and have a talk.  Once you can get to the bottom of their emotions and feelings, you need to determine if this is something you can help them get through or if you need to get professional help.  Do not hesitate to take your children to a therapist or counselor if necessary.
  4. Don’t shock your children: if your children are old enough to understand that there may be an existing issue with your marriage, then you can be upfront with them, however; if your children are either too young to understand or have no idea that your marriage is on the rocks, it is best to give some idea prior to having “the divorce” discussion.  Children are more likely to handle it better if they have some idea that there is already a problem.
  5. Provide reassurance:  reassure your children that you love them and that they will always come first and that the marriage not working out has nothing to do with them.  Let them know that they will still get to see both parents and that if there will be a change in where they reside that you will do your best to communicate that to them in advance and take their preferences into consideration. 

 

Telling Your Children About Divorce is Never Easy

 

If you need assistance in any divorce matters that involve your children (such as coming up with a child custody arrangement that puts your children first), contact Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Importance of Taking Care of Your Health During and After Divorce

Health After DivorceEveryone knows that divorce can be one of the most stressful life events that one can go through.  Because the stress of divorce can take a toll on your mental and physical health; it is important to have a plan in place to ensure that your health is not sacrificed during a divorce.

 

3 Ways to Guard Your Health During and After a Divorce

 

Once you really dive into the details of what is involved in getting a divorce, it can leave you feeling tired and emotionally drained.   Just the thought of having to deal with child custody, finances, and living arrangements is enough to trigger anxiety in many people. 

 

One of the best things you can focus on and do have control over is your diet and nutrition.  It is best to be mindful of what you are putting in your body during and after divorce.  Even though the easier option is to eat fast food rather than cook healthy meals; acknowledge that your body will pay the price for eating badly.   Today, there are many options for healthy eating such as meal plans, meals that literally cook themselves in an instant pot, meal prepping, or making smoothies at home with fresh fruits and vegetables.  Whether you have time to cook or not, there are many options out there depending on your unique needs.   It might even be beneficial to consult a dietitian who can help you plan out high energy meals. 

 

The second thing that you can do is to focus on building up your self-confidence by focusing on your health goals.  For some people, that may mean getting back in the gym 3-4 times a week, for others, it may be taking a yoga or meditation class, and perhaps even a dance class. Exercise and meditation are an incremental part of a healthy lifestyle and keeping your energy levels up and your stress levels down. 

 

The third thing that you can do is to set new habits.  Since divorce will force you to make changes in your day to day life; it also makes sense to use this opportunity to set new healthy habits for yourself.  This means that you need to take time out for yourself (or make time for yourself).  It means you have to determine what activities make you happy or make you feel energized and then make time to do those things.  Whether that means you want to take a cooking class, dance class or join a sports club, do something that you are excited about.

 

If you are currently in the process of divorce and need legal assistance, contact the Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

Tips for Telling Elementary School-Age Children About a Divorce

Telling Elementary School Age Children About a DivorceNothing about getting a divorce is easy. One of the most painful parts of the process is breaking the news to your children, who will probably have a difficult time understanding the adult concerns that led to your decision.

When children are in elementary school, approximately between the ages of six and 11, they are more sophisticated than younger kids when it comes to recognizing and talking about feelings. Still, they're not likely to grasp the reasons behind their parents' split. 

This is why it's critical to make time for children to ask questions. They are figuring out why the divorce is happening. Younger children may equate the situation with a particular fight over a small event. Always listen to questions when they arise, and take the time to answer to the best of your abilities. You may not have all the answers, but that's ok. 

When you tell your children about getting a divorce, try to present a united front. This means that both parents should be present to meet the perhaps unpredictable reactions from the children. Getting the whole family together prevents sending conflicting messages so that everyone is on the same page. 

While you do want to be honest, it's just as crucial not to give away intimate details. These complex, adult concerns are beyond their understanding, and they may foster later resentment if they are shared. Keep things on a forthright level but refrain from trying to argue your "side" of things or casting the other parent in a negative light.

Make certain that the kids are told that they did not cause the situation. This statement may need to be made several times and over an extended period of time. At the same time, provide constant reassurance that both parents love the children and have every expectation of spending plenty of quality time with them.

Let your kids know what your immediate plans are. Is one of the parents moving out of the family home? When will that parent be seeing the kids? Answers to questions such as these help children to conceptualize how things will work in the coming weeks.

 

You may want to purchase books that are available to help you start the conversation and introduce this change to the children.  You can find many age-appropriate books on Amazon and other places where books are sold.

If you are getting a divorce, contact the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971. With an emphasis on mediation to resolve even the most complex issues, Sabra's legal team makes it possible to achieve a resolution in less time and with far less acrimony.
 

 

How to Tell Your Teenager That You Are Getting Divorced

How to Break News of Getting a Divorce to Your TeenagerGetting divorced is an undeniably stressful time in your life, but it is even more stressful and complicated when children are involved. Even if you have older children or teenagers, the impact of a divorce can be a serious strain on their development if not handled properly and proactively by their parents. 

 

Presenting a Unified Message

First and foremost, it is critical that you and your ex are on the same page about the message you will share with your children. This includes the timing of letting them know. It is best not to spring this type of news immediately before major changes, such as a parent moving out of the house, are about to happen. Allow time and space for your child to process these developments. 

Also, be clear with your ex about which details you will share with your teenager regarding the reason for the divorce. It is vital to convey to your children that they are not the cause of your divorce, but you should avoid sharing intimate details with them. To the extent possible, do not say anything negative about your ex because this will only make co-parenting more difficult and will encourage your child to act out. 

 

Prepare Your Resources in Advance

Do not be surprised if your child needs therapy to cope with you getting divorced. Do your research in advance to find a local, qualified therapist to work with your teenager. Additionally, be ready to share with your teenager as many of the details as possible about the logistics of the divorce and what this means for your child's life going forward. It is only natural that your child will be anxious to know how this situation will immediately affect their life. If you are able to keep your child in the same school, sports, and other activities, this will provide some continuity and stability throughout a scary and complex process. 

 

Contact the Sabra Law Group for Divorce Mediation in New York

Call the Sabra Law Group right away at 646-472-7971 to schedule an appointment for divorce mediation in New York or schedule a complimentary Discovery Session here. The sooner you call to get started with the divorce mediation process, the closer you are to having clarity and stability for your finances, emotional future, and family. 

 

Who Initiates Divorce More: Men or Women?

initiates divorce The correct answer is that women initiate divorce more than men.  In fact, according to a study conducted by the American Sociological Association, they found that women initiate 69% of divorces. 

 

Another interesting fact is that about 90% of divorces are initiated by college-educated women.   Times have changed and more and more women will not tolerate staying in a marriage that they are unhappy in.  A lot of women also have their own careers, which makes it easier to leave a marriage than if they were solely dependent on their husband financially. 

 

One of the most common reasons women file for divorce is infidelity.  In some cases, it may be the woman who cheated on her husband.  Many times, there may be an underlying reason for the infidelity.  Was there a breakdown in the marriage?  Whether it was a communication breakdown or an issue of disrespect, or one of many other issues, it is helpful to know what caused your spouse to cheat on you.  

 

Other reasons women file for divorce is feeling lonely in their marriage, an abusive husband, a husband that is a work-a-holic, or simply growing apart and not seeing eye to eye on anything. 

 

Financial stress can also lead to divorce.   If only one spouse is financially contributing to the household, they may feel overburdened with the finances to support the family. In addition, when a spouse does not recognize the efforts of the other spouse who is contributing to the marriage in non-financial ways this can lead to resentment and develop into anger. Lack of communication regarding spending and budgeting can cause a financial burden and stress the marriage.

 

Sometimes, men do not realize there is a problem in their marriage until their wife points it out.  Men and women have different ways of comprehending information.  This is why clearly communicating what is acceptable to you or not in a marriage is important to disclose from the very beginning. 

 

By openly communicating with your spouse, it may prevent you from making the same mistakes in the future.  In fact, you may even learn something that could salvage your marriage.

 

Why Do Men Avoid Initiating Divorce as Much as Women?

 

Men are scared that a divorce may lead to financial destruction and that they may be left with an almost empty bank account.  Some men choose to stay in a marriage because they feel it would cost them way too much to get out of the marriage.  Furthermore, men are just as scared of losing custody of their children as women are. 

 

Are You Thinking of Filing for Divorce?

 

Consult an experienced New York Divorce Attorney for guidance on the divorce process in New York.  Contact Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971 to schedule a confidential consultation.

 

 

Source: American Sociological Association

 

How to Deal with Back to School and Divorce

Back to School For parents going through a divorce, it can be stressful for them as well as for their children who still live at home.  It is important to take notice of any behavioral changes in your children.  Transitional times can also be challenging for children.  For instance, when it is time for children to head back to school after summer recess or school vacation days, it can be a stressful time for both parents and children; especially when parents are in the middle of a divorce.    

 

Breaking the news of the divorce to children can be difficult.  It is even more difficult when it coincides with transitional times such as when children go back to school after summer recess as some children may already be experiencing anxiety about going back to school and then layering information about their parents’ breakup can be even more overwhelming.

 

Here are some tips to make this transitional time an easier process for your children:

 

  1. Consider your children’s feelings and concerns. For instance, part of dealing with a divorce can potentially mean that your children may have to transfer schools depending on the custody arrangement.  It is important to reassure your children that you will still allow them to play with their current friends.  Furthermore, that they will also still be able to see the other parent, even if the living situation becomes separate.

 

  1. Informing the school teachers that you are going through a divorce will allow the teachers to be an extension of your eyes and to look for and notice any unusual behavior in your children and inform the parents, as well as to be extra sensitive to what the child may be going through.

 

  1. Give your children appropriate time and space to deal with their feelings of sadness, anger or resentment.  Children process information differently than adults do. Allow your children to feel free to express their feelings to you.  When they do express their feelings, be supporting and comforting and try to determine what may help them feel better. If they are not getting better with time, it may be a good idea to consider getting them counseling or professional help.

 

  1. Have a conversation with your children about how to deal with their friends asking questions regarding the separation or divorce.  Your children should not be forced into disclosing any information that they are not comfortable with.  Exude confidence in your children to say “no” to answering questions if they are not comfortable in a particular situation or about discussing a particular topic.

 

  1. Make time to do fun things with your children.  Just because it’s time to go back to school, does not mean that there can’t be fun time on weekdays.  Plan a particular day of the week to go have ice cream together, or play in the park, or watch a movie.  Getting your children out of the house also puts them in a new environment that may make it easier for them to express their feelings and talk about their day.

 

If you are dealing with divorce and need assistance with a parenting plan or any other family law matters, contact Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation (646) 472-7971.

How to Take Control of Your Divorce in New York City

When you got married, you didn’t plan on getting divorced.  However, if your marriage is heading toward divorce, there are some things you can do now to be better prepared and in control. 

Divorce can be very costly. It can take a long time and it can be financially expensive.  One way to reduce both the time and the expense is to avoid unnecessary litigation and explore other possible methods for ending your marriage. (Sabra Law Group can help you figure that out in a Discovery Session).

Whether you intend to file for divorce or if you are caught off guard by your spouse, it is important to compose yourself and control your emotions so that you can engage in the divorce process with a rational and thoughtful mind.  If you find it challenging to control your emotions, then you may want to consider talking with a therapist, psychologist or a divorce coach.  When your emotions take over, you can almost inevitably be assured that your divorce will be very costly (both in time and resources).  

You may also receive advice from well-meaning friends and family about taking possession of at least half of your marital assets.  Depending upon where you are in the divorce process, that may or may not be beneficial to your situation.  Consulting with a New York divorce attorney or a New York divorce mediator who can help you make decisions about essential next steps and how to best protect yourself would be helpful.  Furthermore, you can check out this book for more information and considerations regarding your money, your children and divorce.

Additional Resources for Your Divorce

In addition to a divorce mediator and divorce lawyer, you may need a therapist for your children or yourself if your divorce is extremely traumatic or simply to help you and your children to process this new change in your lives. Now is a good time to increase your attention to your self-care and take up an activity, such as running, yoga, meditation, or other activities to help calm your nerves as well as reduce stress levels.  Finding a local divorce support group can also be beneficial as it gives you the opportunity to connect with other people who can relate to what you are going through. 

Additionally, you may want to consult a tax advisor, a financial consultant or a certified divorce financial advisor to help you understand your finances and explore various possibilities for equitable distribution and support.  And if there is marital property, you may also need a real estate consultant or appraiser. 

Compile Useful Documents As Soon as Possible

Gather financial documents, including tax returns, bank statements, statements for any brokerage accounts, retirement accounts, credit cards, mortgages, car loans, and other bills.  Obtaining complete account numbers for all of these resources would be helpful as well.

Need Assistance Preparing for Your Divorce in New York City?

As you can see, there are a lot of moving parts and there may be a need to work with several different professionals who can assist you through the divorce process.  For more information about how to prepare for your divorce, and where to start first, contact Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971 to schedule an appointment for your personal Discovery Session.