Breaking News of Divorce

Tips for Telling Elementary School-Age Children About a Divorce

Telling Elementary School Age Children About a DivorceNothing about getting a divorce is easy. One of the most painful parts of the process is breaking the news to your children, who will probably have a difficult time understanding the adult concerns that led to your decision.

When children are in elementary school, approximately between the ages of six and 11, they are more sophisticated than younger kids when it comes to recognizing and talking about feelings. Still, they're not likely to grasp the reasons behind their parents' split. 

This is why it's critical to make time for children to ask questions. They are figuring out why the divorce is happening. Younger children may equate the situation with a particular fight over a small event. Always listen to questions when they arise, and take the time to answer to the best of your abilities. You may not have all the answers, but that's ok. 

When you tell your children about getting a divorce, try to present a united front. This means that both parents should be present to meet the perhaps unpredictable reactions from the children. Getting the whole family together prevents sending conflicting messages so that everyone is on the same page. 

While you do want to be honest, it's just as crucial not to give away intimate details. These complex, adult concerns are beyond their understanding, and they may foster later resentment if they are shared. Keep things on a forthright level but refrain from trying to argue your "side" of things or casting the other parent in a negative light.

Make certain that the kids are told that they did not cause the situation. This statement may need to be made several times and over an extended period of time. At the same time, provide constant reassurance that both parents love the children and have every expectation of spending plenty of quality time with them.

Let your kids know what your immediate plans are. Is one of the parents moving out of the family home? When will that parent be seeing the kids? Answers to questions such as these help children to conceptualize how things will work in the coming weeks.

 

You may want to purchase books that are available to help you start the conversation and introduce this change to the children.  You can find many age-appropriate books on Amazon and other places where books are sold.

If you are getting a divorce, contact the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971. With an emphasis on mediation to resolve even the most complex issues, Sabra's legal team makes it possible to achieve a resolution in less time and with far less acrimony.
 

 

How to Tell Your Teenager That You Are Getting Divorced

How to Break News of Getting a Divorce to Your TeenagerGetting divorced is an undeniably stressful time in your life, but it is even more stressful and complicated when children are involved. Even if you have older children or teenagers, the impact of a divorce can be a serious strain on their development if not handled properly and proactively by their parents. 

 

Presenting a Unified Message

First and foremost, it is critical that you and your ex are on the same page about the message you will share with your children. This includes the timing of letting them know. It is best not to spring this type of news immediately before major changes, such as a parent moving out of the house, are about to happen. Allow time and space for your child to process these developments. 

Also, be clear with your ex about which details you will share with your teenager regarding the reason for the divorce. It is vital to convey to your children that they are not the cause of your divorce, but you should avoid sharing intimate details with them. To the extent possible, do not say anything negative about your ex because this will only make co-parenting more difficult and will encourage your child to act out. 

 

Prepare Your Resources in Advance

Do not be surprised if your child needs therapy to cope with you getting divorced. Do your research in advance to find a local, qualified therapist to work with your teenager. Additionally, be ready to share with your teenager as many of the details as possible about the logistics of the divorce and what this means for your child's life going forward. It is only natural that your child will be anxious to know how this situation will immediately affect their life. If you are able to keep your child in the same school, sports, and other activities, this will provide some continuity and stability throughout a scary and complex process. 

 

Contact the Sabra Law Group for Divorce Mediation in New York

Call the Sabra Law Group right away at 646-472-7971 to schedule an appointment for divorce mediation in New York or schedule a complimentary Discovery Session here. The sooner you call to get started with the divorce mediation process, the closer you are to having clarity and stability for your finances, emotional future, and family. 

 

Who Initiates Divorce More: Men or Women?

initiates divorce The correct answer is that women initiate divorce more than men.  In fact, according to a study conducted by the American Sociological Association, they found that women initiate 69% of divorces. 

 

Another interesting fact is that about 90% of divorces are initiated by college-educated women.   Times have changed and more and more women will not tolerate staying in a marriage that they are unhappy in.  A lot of women also have their own careers, which makes it easier to leave a marriage than if they were solely dependent on their husband financially. 

 

One of the most common reasons women file for divorce is infidelity.  In some cases, it may be the woman who cheated on her husband.  Many times, there may be an underlying reason for the infidelity.  Was there a breakdown in the marriage?  Whether it was a communication breakdown or an issue of disrespect, or one of many other issues, it is helpful to know what caused your spouse to cheat on you.  

 

Other reasons women file for divorce is feeling lonely in their marriage, an abusive husband, a husband that is a work-a-holic, or simply growing apart and not seeing eye to eye on anything. 

 

Financial stress can also lead to divorce.   If only one spouse is financially contributing to the household, they may feel overburdened with the finances to support the family. In addition, when a spouse does not recognize the efforts of the other spouse who is contributing to the marriage in non-financial ways this can lead to resentment and develop into anger. Lack of communication regarding spending and budgeting can cause a financial burden and stress the marriage.

 

Sometimes, men do not realize there is a problem in their marriage until their wife points it out.  Men and women have different ways of comprehending information.  This is why clearly communicating what is acceptable to you or not in a marriage is important to disclose from the very beginning. 

 

By openly communicating with your spouse, it may prevent you from making the same mistakes in the future.  In fact, you may even learn something that could salvage your marriage.

 

Why Do Men Avoid Initiating Divorce as Much as Women?

 

Men are scared that a divorce may lead to financial destruction and that they may be left with an almost empty bank account.  Some men choose to stay in a marriage because they feel it would cost them way too much to get out of the marriage.  Furthermore, men are just as scared of losing custody of their children as women are. 

 

Are You Thinking of Filing for Divorce?

 

Consult an experienced New York Divorce Attorney for guidance on the divorce process in New York.  Contact Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971 to schedule a confidential consultation.

 

 

Source: American Sociological Association

 

How to Deal with Back to School and Divorce

Back to School For parents going through a divorce, it can be stressful for them as well as for their children who still live at home.  It is important to take notice of any behavioral changes in your children.  Transitional times can also be challenging for children.  For instance, when it is time for children to head back to school after summer recess or school vacation days, it can be a stressful time for both parents and children; especially when parents are in the middle of a divorce.    

 

Breaking the news of the divorce to children can be difficult.  It is even more difficult when it coincides with transitional times such as when children go back to school after summer recess as some children may already be experiencing anxiety about going back to school and then layering information about their parents’ breakup can be even more overwhelming.

 

Here are some tips to make this transitional time an easier process for your children:

 

  1. Consider your children’s feelings and concerns. For instance, part of dealing with a divorce can potentially mean that your children may have to transfer schools depending on the custody arrangement.  It is important to reassure your children that you will still allow them to play with their current friends.  Furthermore, that they will also still be able to see the other parent, even if the living situation becomes separate.

 

  1. Informing the school teachers that you are going through a divorce will allow the teachers to be an extension of your eyes and to look for and notice any unusual behavior in your children and inform the parents, as well as to be extra sensitive to what the child may be going through.

 

  1. Give your children appropriate time and space to deal with their feelings of sadness, anger or resentment.  Children process information differently than adults do. Allow your children to feel free to express their feelings to you.  When they do express their feelings, be supporting and comforting and try to determine what may help them feel better. If they are not getting better with time, it may be a good idea to consider getting them counseling or professional help.

 

  1. Have a conversation with your children about how to deal with their friends asking questions regarding the separation or divorce.  Your children should not be forced into disclosing any information that they are not comfortable with.  Exude confidence in your children to say “no” to answering questions if they are not comfortable in a particular situation or about discussing a particular topic.

 

  1. Make time to do fun things with your children.  Just because it’s time to go back to school, does not mean that there can’t be fun time on weekdays.  Plan a particular day of the week to go have ice cream together, or play in the park, or watch a movie.  Getting your children out of the house also puts them in a new environment that may make it easier for them to express their feelings and talk about their day.

 

If you are dealing with divorce and need assistance with a parenting plan or any other family law matters, contact Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation (646) 472-7971.

How to Take Control of Your Divorce in New York City

When you got married, you didn’t plan on getting divorced.  However, if your marriage is heading toward divorce, there are some things you can do now to be better prepared and in control. 

Divorce can be very costly. It can take a long time and it can be financially expensive.  One way to reduce both the time and the expense is to avoid unnecessary litigation and explore other possible methods for ending your marriage. (Sabra Law Group can help you figure that out in a Discovery Session).

Whether you intend to file for divorce or if you are caught off guard by your spouse, it is important to compose yourself and control your emotions so that you can engage in the divorce process with a rational and thoughtful mind.  If you find it challenging to control your emotions, then you may want to consider talking with a therapist, psychologist or a divorce coach.  When your emotions take over, you can almost inevitably be assured that your divorce will be very costly (both in time and resources).  

You may also receive advice from well-meaning friends and family about taking possession of at least half of your marital assets.  Depending upon where you are in the divorce process, that may or may not be beneficial to your situation.  Consulting with a New York divorce attorney or a New York divorce mediator who can help you make decisions about essential next steps and how to best protect yourself would be helpful.  Furthermore, you can check out this book for more information and considerations regarding your money, your children and divorce.

Additional Resources for Your Divorce

In addition to a divorce mediator and divorce lawyer, you may need a therapist for your children or yourself if your divorce is extremely traumatic or simply to help you and your children to process this new change in your lives. Now is a good time to increase your attention to your self-care and take up an activity, such as running, yoga, meditation, or other activities to help calm your nerves as well as reduce stress levels.  Finding a local divorce support group can also be beneficial as it gives you the opportunity to connect with other people who can relate to what you are going through. 

Additionally, you may want to consult a tax advisor, a financial consultant or a certified divorce financial advisor to help you understand your finances and explore various possibilities for equitable distribution and support.  And if there is marital property, you may also need a real estate consultant or appraiser. 

Compile Useful Documents As Soon as Possible

Gather financial documents, including tax returns, bank statements, statements for any brokerage accounts, retirement accounts, credit cards, mortgages, car loans, and other bills.  Obtaining complete account numbers for all of these resources would be helpful as well.

Need Assistance Preparing for Your Divorce in New York City?

As you can see, there are a lot of moving parts and there may be a need to work with several different professionals who can assist you through the divorce process.  For more information about how to prepare for your divorce, and where to start first, contact Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971 to schedule an appointment for your personal Discovery Session.

Learn Why People Stay in Unhappy Marriages

The reasons people divorce will vary from one couple to the next.  Some people decide to divorce because of infidelity or domestic abuse, whereas, for others it may simply be that they no longer get along. 

One of the main reasons people stay in unhappy marriages is because of their children.  Parents will go to any length to make sacrifices for their children.  One of these sacrifices is staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children.  

The problem with doing this is that it may produce an unhealthy environment for the children.  Children learn from their surroundings and environment.  If you and your spouse are constantly arguing and fighting, then your children may be raised with the wrong perception of marriage.  Your children may fail to have a realistic outlook on what a healthy relationship and a healthy marriage really is or should entail. 

Another reason people stay in a marriage is because of the bond you once had.  Sometimes, it is hard to let go of the good times and memories.  If your mind drifts back to the time you first met and things were all rosy, it may be keeping you from thinking clearly about your future.  This false perception that because things were once good, they can be good again can be destructive.  It is better to make your decisions based on reality and not old memories that are no longer valid. 

Sometimes couples can overcome difficulties in a marriage with the assistance of various professionals – including couples therapists, marital mediation, relationship coaching and through other committed effort by the couple.

In other instances, fear keeps people in unhealthy marriages.  The fear of the unknown, the fear of being alone, the fear of being a single parent all drive people to stay together.   If you allow fear to rule your life and decision-making process, your judgment will become clouded and may prevent you from moving forward in your life. 

Evaluate Your Decision to Stay in a Marriage Based on What Makes You Happy and What is in the Best Interest of Your Children

Of course, there are certain factors that may influence your decision to stay in a marriage or not, however, make sure that you’re making decisions for the right reasons. 

If you have questions about divorce or how to best protect your children during the divorce process, contact Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971.

7 Bad Habits that Can Break a Marriage

January is known as “divorce month”, once the holidays are over and a new year approaches, people are anxious to close bad chapters of their lives.

If you don’t want to end up as a divorce statistic, you need to avoid bad habits that can break a marriage. 

Bad Habits that Can Be Detrimental to Your Marriage

  1. Always having the last word.  If you are trying to win an argument for the sake of winning, know that it may damage your marriage.
  2. Bad or ineffective communication skills.  Good communication skills are essential in life, but even more important in a marriage. If you are no longer communicating openly with your spouse, how can your spouse fix the problem?  
  3. Constantly criticizing.  No one likes to be criticizing all the time; let alone nitpicked about everything.  Try to see the good in situations and your partner instead of seeking the negative. Or try getting curious about the thing that has irked you.  Why did they do what they did? Ask curiousity questions. A positive attitude goes a long way.
  4. Harboring resentment against your spouse.  Resentment can build up and slowly destroy your marriage.  Forgiveness is a huge part of marriage, learn to forgive so you can move forward in a healthy way. Resentment may also be a sign of something you are noticing that is missing from your relationship.  For instance, if you are feeling resentment every time your spouse leaves the home for work, maybe you are missing time with your spouse.  So instead of feeding your resentment toward your spouse, ask your spouse for some alone time together, maybe a “date night”.
  5. Lack of intimacy.   Even with the demands of children, work, and everyday life, it is essential to make time for each other.  It is important to plan dates nights that allow you to have quality, alone time with your spouse without the children around. 
  6. Distracted communication.  Always glued to your computer or cell phone when your spouse is trying to have an important conversation with you can have a negative impact.  Try to give your spouse undivided attention when they are trying to have an important conversation with you. Or even simpler than that, what if you gave your spouse 15 minutes of your full undivided attention every day, what might that do for your relationship?
  7. Being abusive.  Abuse can come in the form of verbal, physical or emotional abuse.  No matter what type of abuse exists in a marriage, it is unacceptable.  Your spouse may tolerate it for the time being, but ultimately, it can put an end to your marriage for good.  If you are the abuser, seek professional help to get to the root of the problem rather than taking it out on your spouse.

Avoid Bad Habits That Can Break a Marriage

If you are on the receiving end of the bad habits, you may have no choice but to consider divorce, or you can explore ways to respond differently to your spouse’ behaviors in a way that will  result in a change in your spouse’s behavior.  If you are curious how you can change your behavior or reaction, or are considering divorce, contact Sabra Law Group for guidance.  You can schedule an appointment with Sabra at (646) 472-7971

Making the Difficult Decision to Divorce in New York

The holidays are finally over.  You have stayed with your spouse for as long as possible for the sake of the children, however, now you are at your all time frustration level.  Making the decision to get divorced is never an easy one, however, you have to evaluate if things may improve or not.

Have you exhausted all options available to you?  Have you tried counseling or a relationship coach? Have you tried to talk to your spouse openly about the things that bother you in your marriage?  Have you tried to move past the betrayal but just can’t seem to forgive?  If you have genuinely tried to make your marriage work but have been unsuccessful, it may be time to consider divorce. 

Even though divorce should always be the last resort, sometimes it is the only way to get your life back.   Furthermore, it may the only way to raise your children in a healthy environment.  It is not in the best interest of the children to be raised in an environment where parents are constantly arguing and fighting. 

When You Are Faced with Making the Difficult Decision to Divorce

Divorce can be very difficult to deal with mentally, emotionally and even physically.  Even though divorce can be extremely stressful there are ways to navigate through it successfully. 

When you change your perspective on divorce, it can change how you react to it.  Try to look at the positives of getting divorced.  Divorce may allow you to get your freedom and voice back.  Furthermore, you may be able to live a happier life without the constant stress of a marriage that is no longer working. 

You Don’t Have to Make an Immediate Decision

Divorce is a lifelong decision so it should be made carefully.   If you are confused about making the decision to divorce in New York, consult a divorce mediation lawyer.   A Manhattan divorce mediation lawyer can answer your questions and explain the divorce process to you.  You should also consider your financial situation and how you will survive financially during and after divorce.  You may also have to make some life changes, such as going back to work full-time or relocating. 

If you have questions about divorce, contact Sabra Law Group today and schedule your appointment with Sabra at (646) 472-7971.

Preparing for Divorce in Manhattan: Know What Steps to Take

Are you preparing for divorce in Manhattan?  Divorce can be an emotional and time-consuming process that requires proper planning and consideration.  Having to deal with a divorce can also be a complicated process.  Use the tips below to plan and prepare for your divorce:

 

  1. Give your divorce careful consideration before making any final decisions – it is best to make the final decision on divorce when you are calm and can think clearly.  Divorce should not be taken lightly and it is tough to change your mind once your spouse has been served with divorce papers. 
  2. Gather relevant financial documents – make sure you can gather bank statements, any investment account information, any real estate owned, tax returns and any other important financial documents that may be pertinent.
  3. Handle any important business or personal transactions that require spending larger sums of money – if you have equipment that you must purchase for your business or need a new car, it may be more feasible to do this before the divorce as funds may not so readily available during or after the divorce.  This is recommended in the event that one spouse decides to be revengeful and deplete savings or sell the house. 
  4. Discuss the child custody and living arrangements – before filing for divorce, it is a good idea to have a better understanding of what life changes the divorce will bring for you and your children; so it best to discuss where the children will live after the divorce. 
  5. Consult an attorney about child custody matters – it is best to talk to a Manhattan divorce mediation attorney or divorce lawyer who can guide you on difficult custody matters
  6. Gather your support system – going through a divorce is never an easy process so you will need all the support you can get.  Instead of hiding matters from close family and friends, it may help to disclose what you are going through so they can be there for you when you need it the most.  There may be times when you need a babysitter or just someone who can listen and be supportive.

 

Preparing for Divorce in Manhattan?  Consult a Divorce Mediation Lawyer for Guidance. 

 

Consult the Sabra Law Group with any questions regarding the divorce process and schedule a confidential consultation by calling (646) 472-7971. 

How to Deal with Stress During a Divorce in New York

There is simply no denying that going through a divorce is one of the most stressful things that a person can face. This tough situation is compounded immensely if you have children involved. One of the simplest ways to get clarity and a sense of peace throughout the process is to involve a professional third party to help you navigate this highly charged experience.

Divorce mediation in New York has become one of the most popular options for couples who are seeking a peaceful and efficient transition into a new phase of their separate lives. This involves having a professional mediator help both sides determine what is the most amicable and fair way to move forward without dragging both parties through a lengthy and exhausting court process. If you have children, divorce mediation in New York allows you to come up with a parenting plan that works for both parties so that a court is not in control of how your children will be parented.

By choosing to navigate the divorce process in the most humane way possible, you will save yourself countless hours of dealing with emotional drain and having to pay thousands of dollars for an expensive court ordeal. Divorce mediation can proceed on your own schedule, which means that you are not at the mercy of the courts in finding out when you can fully move on with the rest of your life. If you have to face a time-consuming lawsuit, then you give up all control over the scheduling of this matter and must wait until the court can fit your case in to find out how you will be moving on. And that can be very stressful and delay the outcome.

Dealing With a Stressful Divorce in New York? 

If you want to get through your divorce in the most responsible and efficient way, seek out an experienced divorce mediator who has helped couples just like you. Call Sabra Sasson Esq. at the Sabra Law Group today at 646-472-7971 to schedule a consultation and to learn more. She will provide valuable insight into the process and tell you exactly how you can get started with creating a new life for yourself as quickly as possible.