Divorce in New York City

What You Need to Know About Divorcing a Narcissist in New York

Perhaps the reason for you filing for divorce is that you realized you were married to a narcissist.  Narcissistic people and personalities are some of the most difficult people to deal with.  And, unfortunately, just because you are getting divorced, the narcissist will not stop doing what they do. Let’s take it one step further…you both have children together.  Having children together means that you will still need to communicate with your spouse or at least make other arrangements for communication.  It is imperative to realize that a narcissist will still try to manipulate you or even your children.   Let’s explore what you need to know about divorcing a narcissist in New York.

Divorcing a narcissist in New York

What Are Some Common Behaviors of Narcissists

 

Narcissists hate taking accountability for their actions and many times they will intentionally provoke you to get a reaction out of you.  This is where you have to be able to recognize what they are doing and not give them the reaction that they are looking for.  Once they realize that you are no longer bothered or impacted by them, they will begin to lose their power over you. 

 

Narcissists Will Never Realize What They Did Wrong…They Will Only Blame You for Your Reaction to Their Actions

 

It is important to know that no matter what you try to do, it will be very difficult to win with them.  So, instead of trying to win the fight, learn how to identify and predict their behavior and control your responses.  Especially when there are children involved, it is key to learn how set boundaries and document all of their bad behavior.  If the court finds that they may present a danger to the children or sacrifice the best interest of the children, the court may limit the amount of time they get with their children.

 

Don’t Blame Yourself and Fall For Their Storyline

 

 

Don’t fall for their bait, narcissists have a nature to reel you in like they were out fishing, so remember to not fall for their bait.  The only way to get ahead is to truly understand that they will never change their behavior, therefore, you must realize how to manage the situation and maintain being calm, no matter what.

 

Determine What Triggers You and Neutralize Those Triggers

 

Self-awareness is key when it comes to dealing with a narcissistic ex.  Be aware of the behaviors your ex exhibits that pushes your buttons and learn to program yourself to not be impacted every time your button is pushed.  The more they get a reaction out of you, the more satisfaction they will get that their plan is working.  On the contrary, if you seem unbothered, they may have to find another victim; one that falls into their trap.

 

Need Help Divorcing a Narcissistic Spouse in New York?

 

Sabra Law Group can help you litigate your divorce and handle difficult divorce matters by communicating on your behalf.  Call Sabra Law Group today to schedule a confidential appointment to discuss your divorce at (646) 472-7971.

 

10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Considering Divorce in New York

10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Considering Divorce in New York Contemplating divorce should never be taken lightly.  Deciding to divorce should be well-thought out and it is important to have the right conversations.  By conversations, this means conversations with yourself and your spouse. Below are 10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Considering Divorce in New York.

 

Have You Communicated Your Feelings to Your Spouse?

 

The first question you should ask yourself is have you taken the time to open and honestly communicate with your spouse about your unhappiness in the marriage?  Have you told them that you are unhappy and considering divorce?  By openly communicating with your spouse, it allows them to potentially fix what may be broken in the marriage.  One of the reasons marriages fail in New York is also because of lack of communication.

 

Have You Tried Marriage Counseling? 

 

Many New York couples have been able to salvage their marriage because of marriage counseling.  If you and your spouse have not entirely given up on your marriage, it may make sense to try seeking the assistance of a therapist or marriage counselor.

 

Do You Have a Clear Understanding of Why You Want a Divorce?

 

You should have a clear understanding of the reasons why you are considering divorce.  If you are unable to come to a clear understanding, then you may need to do a bit more soul-searching before making such a huge decision.

 

Are You Financially Prepared for Divorce?

 

Divorce can be expensive in New York; especially if it is more complex and requires litigation.  Divorce mediation is a more cost-effective option if you and your spouse are on speaking terms and willing to make decisions without having to go to court. You must also consider the living arrangements and expenses after divorce.

 

Are You Willing to Disrupt Your Children’s Lifestyle?

 

Getting a divorce may mean that your children may have to change schools or give up their friends or after-school activities that they enjoy.  You will have to assess how the divorce may impact your children and weigh your options of what is right for you and your family.

 

Are You Emotionally Prepared for Divorce?

 

Divorce can be emotionally taxing. Do you have a support system to rely on if needed?  Divorce is one of the most stressful life events you will have to go through in your life.

 

Are You Making a Spontaneous Decision to Divorce Because You Are Angry?

 

Ask yourself if you are claiming to divorce because you are angry at something that happened recently or are the problems in your marriage are more of a boiling pot that just tipped over?

 

Will You Have Regrets About Ending Your Marriage?

 

Be prepared to ask yourself if you will have regrets afterwards.  Because if you are really ending your marriage to do what is best for you; you should not have any regrets.

 

Are You Prepared to Make Such a Drastic Change In Your Life Right Now?

 

And maybe divorce is the answer, but you must also ask yourself about “timing.” Is it the right time for you to divorce now or would you be in a better place 6-12 months from now?  A divorce is something that requires planning and careful consideration of the next steps.  There are so many factors to consider such as who will live where?

 

Are You Able to Handle Being a Single Parent?

 

What plan do you have to take care of your children?  What about having to go back to the workforce to make a living; would you be comfortable putting your children in daycare or with a babysitter?  Being a single parent means being able to juggle everything on your own and also be able to financially support yourself and your children.

 

 

Divorcing? Need Help Sorting Through Child Support and Divorce Matters in New York?

 

Are you considering divorce in New York? Call Sabra Law Group to discuss your options in case you do decide that you want to get divorced.  Reach out to us at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Date After a Divorce in New York

How to Date After a Divorce In New YorkAfter years of being married, venturing out into the dating scene can be scary, especially in a big city like New York.  This does not mean that you should not get back out there, but more so, have a game plan on dating in New York. Learn how to date after a divorce in New York.

 

Build Up Your Confidence Level

 

Coming out of a bad marriage can take a toll on your mental health and confidence level.  So, step one before you do anything else is to work on your confidence level. There are many different ways you can build up your confidence level.  One way is to practice affirmations.  Look in the mirror every morning and say some positive affirmations about what you or others love about you.  Another way to build your confidence is to learn a new skill or activity; whether you have been wanting to take salsa lessons or a cooking class, get out there and explore new activities. Try a new hairstyle or hair color and treat yourself to a nice dinner or a favorite excursion.

 

Get Out and Socialize

 

One of the great things about living in a big city like New York is that there is never a lack of things to do or events to go to.  Consider some social or charity events, or even volunteering for your favorite charity.  You can also look into Meetup groups on Meetup.com or start your own group.  You may also be able to find groups on there for recently divorced people. Eventbrite also lists local events in your area.

 

Be Sensitive to Your Children’s Feelings

 

Depending on the age range of your children, you may need to have a conversation with them about your intention to start dating.  You may also consider not introducing them to anyone that you are not serious with because kids are very sensitive to meeting strangers after a divorce.

 

Don’t Expect to Get it All Right

 

If dating seems awkward at first, give yourself some grace that you have been out of the dating scene for so many years.  Also, don’t have any expectations in the beginning.  Get out there and enjoy meeting new people and making new friends. Also, if you feel like you are not ready to date…there is no reason to rush it or “date” just because you think you should be. There is no right or wrong time to start dating and everyone has to do what is best for them.

 

Currently Separated or Going Through a Divorce?

 

If you need legal assistance with your divorce, contact Sabra Law Group today to schedule a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.  

 

 

 

 

How to Protect Your Credit Score During a Divorce in New York

Divorce can be challenging enough with all the matters that have to be dealt with, but you also must consider the ramifications of divorce on your credit score. A New York divorce is stressful enough, but you also must come up with a game plan to tackle the division of debts and joint credit cards and credit obligations. It is important to remember that as you are separating lives; having a healthy credit score will be necessary to start over on your own.

Protect your credit score during a divorce in New York

Joint Accounts Can Have an Impact on Your Credit Score

 

It's not the actual marital status (getting divorced) that impacts your credit score but rather it's the joint accounts that you may have with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. As couples are going through the divorce process it's easy to overlook a monthly payment.  

 

Late payments can have a negative impact on your credit score, and you might be dinged by a couple of points. A couple of points may not sound like a lot; however, it can be the difference between having good credit or fair credit.

 

Understand the Impact of Closing Joint Credit Cards

 

Another factor to consider is closing joint credit cards. When you close a credit card it can impact your credit utilization ratio. What this means is that your total amount of available credit decreases when you close a particular account.

 

Another factor to consider is that your ex-spouse may remove you as an authorized user from their credit card. The negative impact this can have is that your credit usage may be impacted and your credit score may drop as a result of not being able to use your spouse's credit card.

 

Some Important Considerations to Protect Yourself During a Divorce

 

Be Proactive and Consider Freezing Your Credit Report

 

Freeze your credit reports during a divorce just in case your ex-spouse wants to open accounts in your name or is attempting to open up additional joint accounts prior to the divorce.

 

Have Those Essential Conversations About Existing Debt with Your Spouse

 

If you can work with your spouse to divide up any existing accounts that you have together, it would be worth it to sit down and have a conversation about how you are going to divide those accounts up and when the best time is to handle that.

 

It's also important to discuss who's going to pay for the remaining debts on credit cards or how the payments will be split up.

 

If you cannot come to a resolution on sorting out who will pay for which debts seek the assistance of a New York divorce mediation lawyer who can help you come to an amicable resolution. Call Sabra Law Group to schedule a call at (646) 472-7971.

 

Invest in Monthly Credit Monitoring

 

It's also a good idea to sign up for a monthly credit monitoring plan so you can monitor your credit report that's why you will get notified if your credit score increases or decreases you will also be able to monitor any inaccuracies and report them so that they do not negatively impact your overall credit score.

 

Need Assistance in Sorting Through Important Divorce Matters in New York?

 

Contact Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to speak to a New York divorce mediation lawyer.  Our firm can help you sort through the challenging issues of divorce so you can focus on what matters the most.

 

 

How to Protect Your Assets During a Divorce in NYC

How to Protect Your Assets During a Divorce in NYC

 

Divorce in New York can be stressful enough but when you couple that with splitting up assets it can be a lot to tackle. Not only do you have to be concerned about splitting up assets, but you also have to be concerned with how to protect your assets in a divorce. A New York divorce mediator shares how to protect your assets during a divorce in New York City.

How to Protect Your Assets During a Divorce in NYC

Understand the Difference Between marital Property and Separate Property

 

Marital property pertains to any assets or debts that were acquired during the marriage. Marital property is able to be divided up in a divorce.

 

Separate property pertains to property that was owned prior to the marriage. It can also pertain to property that may have been received as a gift or inheritance. Separate property for the most part is not usually divided in a divorce.

 

One of the Best Ways to Protect Your Assets During a Divorce is Through a Prenup or a Postnuptial Agreement

 

A prenuptial or postnuptial agreement outlines how the assets and debts will be handled in the event of a divorce.

 

Consider Having Separate Accounts for Any Premarital Assets or Any Inheritance Funds

 

This is important to keep them from being commingled with marital assets so that it is easier to distinguish the origin of these assets.

 

Keep Track of Accurate Reporting and Records of any Assets that Were Required

 

Keep records of what the dates were and where the funds came to pay for these assets. Furthermore, make sure that you or keeping any inheritance documentation handy when needed.

 

If you're not sure about the value of particular assets such as paintings or real estate or even a family business; go to an appraiser to get an appraisal for your assets. Getting an appraisal will help your assets from being undervalued during the divorce process.

 

Keep an eye on any joint bank accounts that you have to make sure that there are not any unauthorized transactions or withdrawals. You should also keep an eye on your credit card accounts to make sure that there are not any unauthorized or large purchases that you're not aware of.

 

What to Do If You Suspect Your Spouse May Be Hiding Assets in New York?

 

Do your homework if you are suspicious that your spouse may be hiding assets. You might consider utilizing these systems of a forensic accountant who may be able to uncover any discrepancies.

 

Have Questions About Protecting Your Assets During a Divorce?

 

Call Sabra Law Group to speak to a knowledgeable New York divorce lawyer who can guide you on how to prepare for divorce and protect your assets in New York City. Call Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971. 

 

 

Should You Post on Social Media During a Divorce in New York?

Should You Post on Social Media During DivorceIf you're going through a divorce or planning to file for a divorce in New York you're probably wondering if it's a good idea to post on social media or not? There are both pros and cons of posting on social media during a divorce; however, if you can proceed with caution, you may be able to manage your social media account strategically during this time.

 

Whatever You Post on Social Media is Public and May Come Back to Haunt You Later

 

One of the most important things to keep in mind about posting on social media during divorce is that whatever you post is public information and it may be used against you in court. If you do decide to post on social media, make sure that you are not making any negative comments about your soon-to-be ex-husband.  Also, refrain from sharing anything related to your kids or parenting.

 

Be Prepared for Unwanted Advice and Judgment if You Do Share Your Divorce Publicly On Social Media

 

In case you decide to make your divorce public on social media; be prepared that people may also make their own judgments and give unwanted advice in the comment section. If your goal is only to put it out there to announce it so that you don't have to reach out to everyone individually then deactivate the comments section.

 

Ask Yourself if Sharing Your Divorce Publicly on Social Media Will Help You Heal or Prevent You from Healing

 

Remember that the more you talk about divorce publicly it can also prevent you from healing during the divorce process.  However, for some people, it can be therapeutic to get it out of their system. There are no set rules when it comes to this; so ultimately you have to do what you are comfortable with and what aligns with your personal values.

 

Be Careful Not to Share Any Personal Details of Your Divorce Online

 

Whenever you want to post on social media make sure that you think before you post; just as the saying goes “Think before you speak.” Another important aspect to remember is to keep personal matters personal and not share any personal information online. You can also check your social media platform privacy settings to make sure that you are only sharing your posts with the audience that you choose to; for example, Instagram has a feature where you can share your content with close friends in the stories section.

 

Would You Want to Rely on Your Friends and Family for Support?

 

You may also find it comforting to seek the support of your family and friends in real life versus friends or acquaintances on social media.

 

Always Put the Best Interest of Your Children First

 

If your children are old enough to be on social media, you may want to consider their feelings when it comes to making the divorce “public on social media.” Divorce can be especially challenging for children, so it is imperative to consider their feelings and show them that they matter.

 

Getting Divorced in New York City?

 

Contact Sabra Law Group for a divorce consultation at (646) 472-7971.  Whether you are planning on mediating or litigating your divorce, Sabra Law Group has years of experience handling simple to complex divorce matters.

 

 

5 Reasons Why People Fear Getting Divorced in New York City

Getting divorced in New YorkDivorce, by nature, is a scary experience to go through; however, there are some very valid reasons why some people fear getting divorced in New York City. And it's not that they fear getting divorced in New York; it's the divorce that they fear.

 

The Unknown Can be Quite Frightening

 

Not knowing where you're going to live, not knowing how you're going to financially support yourself, not knowing if you'll be able to take care of your children in the same way that they were accustomed to before the divorce can be frightening.

 

Not Being Financially Prepared for Divorce or Financially Independent

 

Another reason that some people are scared to get divorced in New York is that they may not be financially prepared for divorce. This could mean that their spouse was the breadwinner while they stayed home and took care of the kids. Therefore, they do not have a source of income coming in. So, now having to rely on child support alone can induce fear in even the most confident person. Not being financially prepared for divorce can instill some fears around the ability to take care of themselves and their children.

 

Keep in mind that even though divorce is scary is not to suggest staying in a bad marriage just because of financial reasons.  There are many ways to get the support that you need. Don't be afraid to ask friends and family to help you take care of the children while you go to job interviews, or are working on starting a new business.

 

The Fear of Not Finding Someone to Replace Your Spouse

 

This can also be known as the fear of ending up alone.  Even if you're going to be alone for a while after divorce that does not mean you're going to be single and alone forever. In fact, it is important to take time to heal from a divorce before jumping into a serious relationship too quickly. Remember to be confident in who you are and what you stand for and don't deviate from your values just because you're feeling undervalued.

 

Do You Fear Being Judged by Your Friends and Family?

 

In certain cultures, divorce is frowned upon, and family members may not approve of your divorce. However, it is imperative to keep in mind that it is your life, not theirs and you have to do what is best for your mental health and for your children. As far as your friends go it is not their place to judge your life because they cannot truly understand the dynamics of your marriage.

 

Fear of How Divorce Will Impact Your Children

 

How divorce will impact your children is definitely a valid concern. Even though divorce may impact your children in the short run, ultimately, you have to do what is best for their future. If you strongly believe that you can provide a healthier environment for them, then that is all that matters.

 

Considering Getting Divorce in New York?

 

Call Sabra Law Group today to speak to a New York divorce attorney and mediator who can assist you.  Call today at 646-472-7971.

 

 

 

 

The Reason Why More Women File for Divorce in New York Than Men

 

Why more women file for divorce in New York

Women get divorced every year in New York for many different reasons. There are some consistent themes of common reasons women file for divorce in New York.  Reasons for divorcing can vary from infidelity to domestic violence to growing apart and more.

 

Factors that Contribute to Women Filing for Divorce in New York

 

Infidelity:  A cheating spouse is one of the major reasons for women wanting to divorce.  While some women may be able to forgive their spouse for infidelity, others may not be willing to stay in a marriage with a partner who cheats.  There are also lots of other considerations, such as if an instance of infidelity was a one-time thing or if it is an ongoing situation.

 

An Abusive Husband:  Domestic violence is another reason that women file for divorce in New York.  Domestic violence does not always have to be only physical abuse.  It can also consist of emotional abuse.  Feeling trapped in an abusive marriage can be a very tough situation.  Many women want to find a way to get out of an abusive marriage and find a healthier and happier life.

 

Growing Apart:  When a husband starts acting distant with his wife, it is easy for her to get frustrated and feel isolated.  This is also common in marriages where the husband may travel frequently for work so is already not as available; and when he does have time, he is emotionally and possibly physically disconnected as well.

 

Lack of Communication:  Communication is essential in a healthy marriage and relationship.  When a husband refuses to communicate with his wife in a marriage, it can cause a strain on the marriage.  Especially if the wife has tried to communicate with her husband repeatedly without getting any reciprocation.

 

Women Opt for Financial Freedom:  Many women who have a career or business of their own and have income coming in are less likely to stay in an unhappy marriage.  Because they have the financial freedom to support their lifestyle and/or children, it is easier to walk away from an unhappy marriage.

 

Considering Divorcing Your Husband in New York City?

 

If you are considering divorcing your husband in NYC, contact Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to schedule a confidential consultation.

 

 

 

 

 

How to Determine if Your Marriage is Over in New York

Are you contemplating divorce but not sure how to tell if your marriage is over? If your marriage is coming to an end, it is easy to be in denial about it, however; there are telltale signs to be on the lookout for. 

 

6 Telltale Signs That Your Marriage May Be Headed Towards Divorce in New York

How to Tell Your Marriage is Over in New York

 

 

Telltale Sign Number 1: You fight and argue all the time and can’t seem to agree on anything.  If you are noticing that your arguments and fights are intensifying, it could be a sign that your marriage is on the rocks.

 

Telltale Sign Number 2: You no longer have the same goals and values you did as a couple together.  If you are drifting apart, you may notice that you no longer like to do the same things you once did together and are drifting apart into your own interests.

 

Telltale Sign Number 3: If you sense or discover that your spouse is cheating on you.  Infidelity is a sign that your marriage is heading towards divorce.  Even if your spouse is not physically cheating on you, they may be emotionally cheating on you.  Emotional cheating is just as hard to take in as physical cheating for more couples.

 

Telltale Sign 4: If you are married but yet feel alone and lonely all the time, it may be a sign that your marriage is on the rocks.  If your spouse is distancing themselves from you or vice versa, it is a sign that you no longer feel connected.

 

Telltale Sign 5: If you find yourself seeking validation from others constantly, it could be a sign that something is missing in your marriage.  If you are always looking for validation outside of your marriage, then you may be feeling disconnected from your spouse. 

 

Telltale Sign 6: Your spouse is being disrespectful or mentally abusive to you.  If your spouse is consistently disrespecting you or mentally or physically abusive to you, it may be time to realize that you are not in a healthy marriage.

 

Considering Divorce in New York City?

 

Even if you are not positive that you want to get divorced, it is best to know what your options are so you can be prepared if it comes to that.  If you have questions about divorcing in New York, call Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to speak to one of our experienced divorce mediation lawyers.

 

 

 

 

How to Get Through Divorce With Emotional Grit

How to Get Through Divorce With Emotional Grit

Besides losing a loved one, divorce is one of the most difficult and emotional times one will go through. During a divorce in New York, it is normal to experience a multitude of feelings. One day you may be feeling angry whereas the next day you may be feeling sad and depressed. And in the midst of it all you may even see a glimmer of hope when you're having a good day. If you can learn how to utilize emotional grit during your divorce; it can help you build the resilience that you need to get through this difficult time. Think of emotional grit as the strength, courage, and wisdom that helps you navigate the toughest things that life throws your way, including divorce. Let’s explore how to get through divorce with emotional grit and come out ahead.

 

Don't Deny Your Feelings

 

If you're feeling sad, angry, hurt, or betrayed understand that these are real emotions and you’re not the only one who is going through these emotions. Other people in New York who have gone through divorce have also experienced these same feelings. What’s more important is that you acknowledge your emotions and accept that this is a normal process of going through a divorce.

 

Build a Strong Support System to Lean on When Needed

 

Having a strong network of friends and family will ensure that when you do have a rough day dealing with your soon-to-be ex, that you have the support that you need to get through the toughest days. If you don't have a strong circle of friends and family that you can go to or maybe you're more of a private person consider getting professional help. A licensed therapist or counselor can help you feel supported during this difficult time. Furthermore, if you have not already reached out to a New York divorce lawyer or mediator you may also consider seeking legal support from them.

 

Set Boundaries and Stick to Them

 

Many times, people think that setting boundaries means telling people what you don't want or what you will not tolerate and while that is true there's another scenario to consider as well. The other scenario is that simply stating your boundaries to your soon-to-be ex-spouse may not be enough. Boundaries are more impactful when you actually show the other person what you're willing to tolerate and not tolerate. So, to enforce boundaries, you must show them that you are serious about your boundaries and not just tell them.

 

Self-Care is a Must During This Time

 

Make sure that you are taking time to yourself every day and that you're also eating right, exercising, getting enough sleep, and doing things that make you happy.

 

Even if you have children to take care of and a full-time job it's imperative that you take some time to yourself every day. Even if it's taking half an hour to go for a walk or listen to your favorite audiobook or going for a jog or to the gym.

 

Think of Divorce as a Learning Experience

 

Every negative thing that happens to you in life can be used as a learning experience to grow as a person. Using your struggles as a learning experience can definitely help you be more resilient and prepared to bounce back from anything that life sends your way.

 

Be Open to Change

 

If there's one thing that every divorce has in common is that nothing stays the same and change is inevitable in a divorce. Therefore, instead of fighting the change, embrace it with open arms as a positive thing in your life rather than a negative.

 

Don't Be Too Hard on Yourself

 

Just remember that you are human, and you can only do your best, and whatever happens after that is out of your control. Therefore, if you know that you've done your best then give yourself some grace.

 

Do You Need Legal Guidance During Your Divorce in New York?

 

Call Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to get the help that you need and take some of the pressure off by letting a New York divorce attorney communicate and negotiate the complex terms of your divorce.