Dealing with Divorce

What to Do When Divorce is Not an Option in New York

What to Do When Divorce is Not an Option in New YorkWhile there are many New Yorkers who decide to get divorced and can do so; not everyone has the liberty to do so. The reason for divorce not being an option for everyone can range from poor finances to even their cultural upbringing. Let's consider some reasons why divorce may not be an option for some New York married couples.

 

Four Reasons Why Divorce May Not Be an Option for Some Married Couples

 

In some cultures, divorce is frowned upon, and divorce is not acceptable by their culture or their family. This can leave one feeling trapped and unhappy. Ultimately, you have to make the final decision on what is best for you and your children.  It may take some time to come to terms with what the right decision is; but know that you can seek professional help if needed from a marriage counselor or therapist.

 

The other reason and this one is most common is due to not being financially independent. If finances are already an issue in the marriage; getting divorced will only exemplify the money problems.

 

When couples are divorcing it usually means that they will have to have separate households and that means paying two mortgages or two rents. It also means that before, if they were sharing a car now they may have to have two separate cars for transportation.

 

If your reasons for not being able to divorce are due to finances, there is hope that your situation can improve with time.  So, in the meantime, you can start preparing yourself to take steps in the right direction by saving up money, getting a job, or even asking family and friends for help if they can help you. 

 

Another reason why divorce may not be an option for some people in New York is because of their children. Many parents want to put the well-being of their children first and foremost and because of that they may not be prepared to get divorced. They realize that divorce can take a devastating toll on their children’s well-being.  And even though they may not get divorced on paper in reality they may be living separate lives and even sleeping in separate bedrooms.

 

Let's face it. Getting divorced is one of the scariest things in life. And the fear of starting over or not knowing what the future holds can basically make people freeze up. Many married couples in NYC stay in unhappy marriages longer because they're too scared to leap into the unknown.

 

How to Plan for a Future Divorce in New York

 

The first step is to understand what your legal rights are in New York, even if you're not in a position to get divorced in the next few months it helps to know what your rights are. It may be beneficial to consult a New York divorce mediator or divorce lawyer who can educate you on what your options are so that when the time comes you can make a more informed decision.

 

Seek the Support of Your Friends and Support Groups

 

Having a support system during this time can make the difference between getting through this time while maintaining a positive mindset versus taking a downward spiral towards depression.

 

Remember to prioritize Your Well-Being So That You Are in a Position to Take Care of Your Kids

 

This means that if you need to seek professional assistance from a therapist, be willing to be open to that. There are also things that you can do on your own such as yoga, meditation, or watching positive videos on YouTube, or even simple things like taking a walk one or two times a day.

 

Don’t Lose Hope for the Future

 

Even if divorce is not an option today just know that there is a way out if you start taking the little steps today. And if you're confused about how to get out of your marriage, contact Sabra Law Group to speak to a savvy New York divorce lawyer who can guide you on how to plan for divorce. Call Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971.

How to Get Through Divorce with Emotional Grit

How to Get Through Divorce With Emotional GritBesides losing a loved one, divorce is one of the most difficult and emotional times one will go through. During a divorce, it is normal to experience a multitude of feelings. One day you may be feeling angry whereas the next day you may be feeling sad and depressed. And in the midst of it all, you may even see a glimmer of hope when you're having a good day. If you can learn how to utilize emotional grit during your divorce; it can help you build the resilience that you need to get through this difficult time. Think of emotional grit as the strength, courage, and wisdom that helps you navigate the toughest things that life throws your way, including divorce. Let’s explore how to get through divorce with emotional grit and come out ahead.

 

Don't Deny Your Feelings

 

If you're feeling sad, angry, hurt, or betrayed, understand that these are real emotions and you're not the only one who is going through these emotions. Other people in New York who have gone through divorce have also experienced these same feelings. What's more important is that you acknowledge your emotions and accept that this is a normal process of going through a divorce.

 

Build a Strong Support System to Lean on When Needed

 

Having a strong network of friends and family will ensure that when you do have a rough day dealing with your soon-to-be ex, you will have the support that you need to get through the toughest days. If you don't have a strong circle of friends and family that you can go to or maybe you're more of a private person, consider getting professional help. A licensed therapist, counselor, or divorce coach can help you feel supported during this difficult time. Also, if you have not already reached out to a New York divorce lawyer or mediator you may also consider seeking legal support from them.

 

Set Boundaries and Stick to Them

 

 

Many times, people think that setting boundaries means telling people what you don't want or what you will not tolerate and while that is true there's another scenario to consider as well. The other scenario is that simply stating your boundaries to your soon to be ex-spouse may not be enough. Boundaries are more impactful when you actually show the other person what you're willing to tolerate and not tolerate. So, in order to enforce boundaries, you must show them that you are serious about your limits and not just tell them.

 

Self-Care is a Must During This Time

 

Make sure that you are taking time to yourself every day and that you're also eating right, exercising, getting enough sleep, and doing things that make you happy.

 

Even if you have children to take care of and a full-time job it's imperative that you take some time to yourself every day. Even if it's taking half an hour to go for a walk or listen to your favorite audiobook, going for a jog or to the gym or a lecture or play.

 

Think of Divorce as a Learning Experience

 

Every negative thing that happens to you in life can be used as a learning experience to grow as a person. Using your struggles as a learning experience can definitely help you be more resilient and prepared to bounce back from anything that life sends your way.

 

Be Open to Change

 

If there's one thing that every divorce has in common is that nothing stays the same and change is inevitable in a divorce. Therefore, instead of fighting the change, embrace it with open arms as a positive thing in your life rather than a negative.  This may be easier said than done.

 

Don't Be Too Hard on Yourself

 

Just remember that you are human, and you can only do your best, and whatever happens after that is out of your control. Therefore, if you know that you've done your best then give yourself some grace.

 

Do You Need Legal Guidance During Your Divorce in New York?

 

Call Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to get the help that you need and take some of the pressure off by letting a New York divorce mediator communicate and negotiate the complex terms of your divorce.

How to Protect Your Credit Score During a Divorce in New York

Divorce can be challenging enough with all the matters that have to be dealt with, but you also must consider the ramifications of divorce on your credit score. A New York divorce is stressful enough, but you also must come up with a game plan to tackle the division of debts and joint credit cards and credit obligations. It is important to remember that as you are separating lives; having a healthy credit score will be necessary to start over on your own.

Protect your credit score during a divorce in New York

Joint Accounts Can Have an Impact on Your Credit Score

 

It's not the actual marital status (getting divorced) that impacts your credit score but rather it's the joint accounts that you may have with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. As couples are going through the divorce process it's easy to overlook a monthly payment.  

 

Late payments can have a negative impact on your credit score, and you might be dinged by a couple of points. A couple of points may not sound like a lot; however, it can be the difference between having good credit or fair credit.

 

Understand the Impact of Closing Joint Credit Cards

 

Another factor to consider is closing joint credit cards. When you close a credit card it can impact your credit utilization ratio. What this means is that your total amount of available credit decreases when you close a particular account.

 

Another factor to consider is that your ex-spouse may remove you as an authorized user from their credit card. The negative impact this can have is that your credit usage may be impacted and your credit score may drop as a result of not being able to use your spouse's credit card.

 

Some Important Considerations to Protect Yourself During a Divorce

 

Be Proactive and Consider Freezing Your Credit Report

 

Freeze your credit reports during a divorce just in case your ex-spouse wants to open accounts in your name or is attempting to open up additional joint accounts prior to the divorce.

 

Have Those Essential Conversations About Existing Debt with Your Spouse

 

If you can work with your spouse to divide up any existing accounts that you have together, it would be worth it to sit down and have a conversation about how you are going to divide those accounts up and when the best time is to handle that.

 

It's also important to discuss who's going to pay for the remaining debts on credit cards or how the payments will be split up.

 

If you cannot come to a resolution on sorting out who will pay for which debts seek the assistance of a New York divorce mediation lawyer who can help you come to an amicable resolution. Call Sabra Law Group to schedule a call at (646) 472-7971.

 

Invest in Monthly Credit Monitoring

 

It's also a good idea to sign up for a monthly credit monitoring plan so you can monitor your credit report that's why you will get notified if your credit score increases or decreases you will also be able to monitor any inaccuracies and report them so that they do not negatively impact your overall credit score.

 

Need Assistance in Sorting Through Important Divorce Matters in New York?

 

Contact Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to speak to a New York divorce mediation lawyer.  Our firm can help you sort through the challenging issues of divorce so you can focus on what matters the most.

 

 

How to Get Through Divorce With Emotional Grit

How to Get Through Divorce With Emotional Grit

Besides losing a loved one, divorce is one of the most difficult and emotional times one will go through. During a divorce in New York, it is normal to experience a multitude of feelings. One day you may be feeling angry whereas the next day you may be feeling sad and depressed. And in the midst of it all you may even see a glimmer of hope when you're having a good day. If you can learn how to utilize emotional grit during your divorce; it can help you build the resilience that you need to get through this difficult time. Think of emotional grit as the strength, courage, and wisdom that helps you navigate the toughest things that life throws your way, including divorce. Let’s explore how to get through divorce with emotional grit and come out ahead.

 

Don't Deny Your Feelings

 

If you're feeling sad, angry, hurt, or betrayed understand that these are real emotions and you’re not the only one who is going through these emotions. Other people in New York who have gone through divorce have also experienced these same feelings. What’s more important is that you acknowledge your emotions and accept that this is a normal process of going through a divorce.

 

Build a Strong Support System to Lean on When Needed

 

Having a strong network of friends and family will ensure that when you do have a rough day dealing with your soon-to-be ex, that you have the support that you need to get through the toughest days. If you don't have a strong circle of friends and family that you can go to or maybe you're more of a private person consider getting professional help. A licensed therapist or counselor can help you feel supported during this difficult time. Furthermore, if you have not already reached out to a New York divorce lawyer or mediator you may also consider seeking legal support from them.

 

Set Boundaries and Stick to Them

 

Many times, people think that setting boundaries means telling people what you don't want or what you will not tolerate and while that is true there's another scenario to consider as well. The other scenario is that simply stating your boundaries to your soon-to-be ex-spouse may not be enough. Boundaries are more impactful when you actually show the other person what you're willing to tolerate and not tolerate. So, to enforce boundaries, you must show them that you are serious about your boundaries and not just tell them.

 

Self-Care is a Must During This Time

 

Make sure that you are taking time to yourself every day and that you're also eating right, exercising, getting enough sleep, and doing things that make you happy.

 

Even if you have children to take care of and a full-time job it's imperative that you take some time to yourself every day. Even if it's taking half an hour to go for a walk or listen to your favorite audiobook or going for a jog or to the gym.

 

Think of Divorce as a Learning Experience

 

Every negative thing that happens to you in life can be used as a learning experience to grow as a person. Using your struggles as a learning experience can definitely help you be more resilient and prepared to bounce back from anything that life sends your way.

 

Be Open to Change

 

If there's one thing that every divorce has in common is that nothing stays the same and change is inevitable in a divorce. Therefore, instead of fighting the change, embrace it with open arms as a positive thing in your life rather than a negative.

 

Don't Be Too Hard on Yourself

 

Just remember that you are human, and you can only do your best, and whatever happens after that is out of your control. Therefore, if you know that you've done your best then give yourself some grace.

 

Do You Need Legal Guidance During Your Divorce in New York?

 

Call Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to get the help that you need and take some of the pressure off by letting a New York divorce attorney communicate and negotiate the complex terms of your divorce.