Co-Parenting

How to Handle Parental Alienation and Reconnect with Your Teen

Parental alienation is when one parent purposely tries to distance their child from the other parent. After a divorce, children may either split their time between both parents or choose to live with one parent if, for example, they are teenagers. If one parent has turned the teen against the other parent, the teen may not even want to have anything to do with the other parent. Teenagers are already dealing with their own issues of adolescence so having to see their parents go through a divorce can also take an emotional toll on them. Having to deal with parental alienation can be a very disheartening situation, however; it is important to realize that there are ways to reconnect with your teenager.

What Are the Signs of Parental Alienation

Some signs of parental alienation include that a child becomes cold or distant towards one parent without a reason or an explanation. They could also appear to be hostile or angry at one parent. If they are accusing you of behavior that is not valid; it is important to note that the parent that is doing the alienation may be influencing them to act that way. That parent may also be threatening them that if they don’t abide by their rules or commands, the teen may have to fend for themselves financially.

Continue to Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Even if your kid avoids you at first and is distant continue to reach out. It is ok to send them a text message or call them to let them know that you are there for them regardless of what their current situation. Don’t force any conversations but casually reach out from time to time to let them know that you are here for them when they are ready to reach out. By reassuring them that you care, they will eventually come around when they are ready. By creating a safe space for them that offers loving support, they will feel more comfortable approaching you.

Even if Your Ex-Spouse is Disparaging You, Take the Higher Road

Even if your ex-spouse is disparaging you with your children or other people, remember to take the higher road. Two wrongs do not make a right! It may be difficult to not say anything and remain quiet but if your ex is also a narcissistic personality, they may use whatever you say against you.

As difficult as it may be, avoid speaking negatively about the other parent in front of your child. This can be challenging, especially if you're being portrayed in a negative light.

When You See Your Teenager Do Your Best to Make It a Positive Experience

When you get to see your teenager, plan some fun activities that they would enjoy or try a new experience together to create new, fun, and positive memories. By spending quality time together, you will slowly be able to rebuild their trust and demonstrate how much you care without the influence of your ex-spouse.

Consider Therapy Who Can Help With Your Family Dynamics and Alienation

An experienced therapist may be able to assist with ways to get your relationship back on track with your teenager and move forward constructively. Parental alienation can be difficult for the parent who is being alienated as well as the child involved.

Your Teenager May Not Realize They Are Being Manipulated

Your child may not even understand what is happening but once they have more education on what parental alienation is and how to identify signs of it; they may be more aware. This awareness may be beneficial in them not falling for the tactics so quickly and they may have more resistance and question why they are being told to stay away from the other parent.

Don’t Give Up

It is ok to take a break from trying to mend the relationship with your child and give them some breathing room, however, don’t give up trying. It may not happen overnight, but it is possible to get your teenager back to a place where he/she will spend time with you again and be willing to rectify the relationship.

You May Be Able to Take Legal Action

A New York divorce and family law lawyer may be able to help you with your parental alienation situation. A NYC family law lawyer may be able to assist with modifications to custody arrangements, and court-ordered therapy, or be able to suggest other techniques to get your relationship with your child back on track.

If you need assistance with matters related to parental alienation in New York City, call Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971.

New York Divorce Mediator Shares How to Protect Your Children During Divorce

Divorce can have a negative impact on children and their well-being; however, there are ways you can protect your children during divorce. A New York divorce mediator shares some things you can do to protect your children during divorce.

Opt for a Low-Conflict Divorce

If you do not want divorce to negatively impact your children, it is important to keep the conflict level low in your divorce. One way to do this is to mediate your divorce instead of battling it out in court. Although some conflict is unavoidable during divorce, you can take steps to safeguard your children so that they are not stuck in the middle of a nasty divorce battle.

Be Cautious of Your Spouse Putting Your Children in the Middle of the Divorce

If your spouse is going to your teenage children to communicate with you; instead of communicating with you directly, they are putting your children in the middle of your divorce. It is imperative to nip that in the bud as soon as it happens. Have an honest and upfront discussion with your spouse that this is not healthy for the children. Also, convey that as adults we should handle the details of the divorce confidentially.

Are Your Children Too Young to Understand Why You Are Divorcing?

Also, it is best to not be an open book when it comes to disclosing reasons for your divorce to your children. If your husband cheated on you, it is not something you want to bring up to your children; especially if they are too young to comprehend what is happening.

Keep Financial Matters About Child Support Confidential from Your Children

And if your ex is giving you a hard time about paying for child support or providing other financial support for the children, do not bring the children into it! It is best to keep these things private and sharing things like this with your children can foster resentment towards the other parent. Talking bad about the other parent can take a psychological toll on children; so, it is best to avoid this at all costs.

Have a Solid Game Plan on How to Treat Your Children Collectively During the Divorce

“Collectively” means that both of you need to be on the same page in terms of what you're going to share with the children and what you're not going to share with the children. Think of it as making a pact that is not meant to be broken for the sake of your children’s emotional well-being.

Need a New York Divorce Mediator to Help You With Your Divorce?

Call Sabra Law Group today at 646-472-7971 to speak to a knowledgeable New York divorce mediator who can assist you with your divorce matters.

How to Prepare for Your Child Custody Battle in New York

One of the most significant issues divorcing couples cannot agree upon is child custody. Both parents usually want the best for their children, however, many divorcing couples find that they have different ideas about what is best for the child, visitation schedules, and child support amounts.

Couples going through a bitter divorce may even use child custody and support issues to drag out the divorce proceedings. Emotions run very high in a divorce, and anger can make people think differently than at any other time. Consider using a divorce mediator if you need to prepare for a child custody battle in New York.

Divorce mediation is often the best choice for divorce proceedings that are stuck on a subject or have difficulty proceeding to the next step. Both parties come to a standstill, and the case drags on and causes delays in the divorce moving forward and causes both parties to become frustrated.

Since both attorneys are vested in their client's best interest, bringing in a divorce mediator is the perfect option. A divorce mediator has no connection to either party. They offer an outside opinion on a subject that is highly emotional for all others involved.

Divorce Mediators Bring Calm to the Table

Since the divorce mediator does not have any vested interest in either party, they can look at the information and make valid suggestions to settle the child custody issues. The mediator can look at what is really in the child's best interest and offer advice on how both parents can make this work.

A mediator can present facts to both sides of the issue that is unbiased. In most cases, both parties will respond very well to this type of information. When either party believes that the decision is not harming them, they will start making the choices necessary to get the divorce proceedings moving and bring an end to the case.

Facing A Child Custody Battle In New York?

If you are facing a child custody battle in New York, it will be in your best interest to contact Sabra Law Group at 646.472.7971. They are certified divorce mediators and have been successfully helping people settle their differences and come up with viable solutions so that they can finalize their divorce.

How to Manage Co-Parenting in New York with a Narcissistic Ex-Spouse

Maybe you decided to divorce your spouse because they had quite the personality. A personality that can be defined as narcissistic. Narcissistic personalities are very difficult to handle for several reasons. For one, they only think of themselves and their own needs.

A narcissistic ex usually has an excessive need for attention, and they also lack empathy.
Depending on the type of narcissist they happen to be, they may be even more challenging to deal with when it comes to co-parenting.

5 Ways to Manage Co-Parenting in New York with a Narcissistic Ex

1)   Set Boundaries: Boundaries are going to be essential when it comes to dealing with a narcissistic ex. Your ex may like to push the boundaries, but it is important to call out unacceptable behavior as it happens. When you do call out the bad behavior, it is important to speak in a calm but firm tone.
2)   Focus on the Parenting Plan: Keep the focus on developing a highly structured parenting plan. This will be instrumental to having a systematic method to handle co-parenting. Make sure that parenting schedules, holidays, and vacations are outlined in great detail. The more detailed the parenting plan is, the less room there will be for misunderstandings and miscommunication.
3)   Consult a New York Mediator Who Can Help You: Utilizing a third-party mediator will be a lifesaver when it comes to working out conflict and co-parenting issues that you are not able to come to a resolution on with your ex.
4)   Stay Calm No Matter What: A challenging, narcissistic ex-spouse will push your buttons, but remember that you have full control over how you react. Sometimes, they may push your buttons just to irritate you. When they see that you are not that bothered…they may not try as hard to push your buttons.
5)   Set the Right Example for Your Children: If you need to vent about your ex, do not vent to your children. Some days will be very difficult when it comes to dealing with your ex, but have a friend or family member that you can reach out to when you need someone to talk to about your ex.

Need Help Managing Co-Parenting with Your Narcissistic Ex-Spouse?

Contact Sabra Law Group today to speak to an experienced mediator who can help you deal with your narcissistic ex and develop a parenting plan that is designed to protect the best interest of your children. Call Sabra today at (646) 472-7971.

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