Divorce Tips

What You Should Know Before You File for Divorce in New York

What You Should Know Before You File for Divorce in New YorkEach state has its laws for divorce.  In New York, there are both “no-fault” and “fault-based” divorces.  It is important to understand both types and the ramifications they might have. Let’s discuss what you should know before you file for divorce in New York below.


What is a “No-Fault” Divorce in New York?


In a “no-fault” divorce, neither spouse is pointing blame at the other spouse for the end of the marriage. There must be a irretrievable breakdown in the marriage for at least six months.  This means that the marriage is not repairable and at least one of the parties wish to end the marriage.  Neither spouse is held accountable for the marriage ending in a “no-fault” divorce. 


What is a “Fault-Based” Divorce in New York?


In a “fault-based” divorce, one or both spouses may have participated in infidelity, mental or physical abuse, or abandonment.  The abandonment would have to be for a period of one year or more to constitute a “fault-based” divorce. A “fault” divorce can also include if a spouse was in prison for three or more years.  Furthermore, if the spouses lived separately from each other based on a separation agreement or decree.


To file for divorce in New York, either spouse must have lived in the state for at least two years before filing.. Alternatively, the couple can meet residency requirements if they lived in New York for one year immediately before filing, were married in the state, or lived there as a married couple, or if the grounds for divorce occurred in New York and both spouses reside there when filing. r

What Does Equitable Distribution in New York Entail?


New York State is an equitable distribution state, which means that marital property is to be divided up in a fair way but does not necessarily mean equal. There are many different factors that go into determining how assets will be divided in a divorce in New York. The court will consider factors like the length of the marriage and what contributions each spouse made to marital property when they filed for divorce.


A New York Judge Will Focus on the Best Interest of the Children


Again, many factors will go into determining child custody and child support in New York. The court and judge will consider each parent’s relationship with the children, the children’s needs, and the ability of each parent to care for the child. Also, the judge will evaluate if there was any child abuse or domestic violence involved in the case. 


How is Child Support Determined in New York


In New York, child support is determined by the Child Support Standards Act.  This Act provides a formula to calculate child support that is based on the number of children and combined income of the parents.


Need Assistance with Divorce in New York?


Call Sabra Law Group today to discuss your divorce questions and start the divorce process.  Call (646) 472-7971 today and take the first step to getting your life back on track.






What You Need to Know About Divorcing a Narcissist in New York

Perhaps the reason for you filing for divorce is that you realized you were married to a narcissist.  Narcissistic people and personalities are some of the most difficult people to deal with.  And, unfortunately, just because you are getting divorced, the narcissist will not stop doing what they do. Let’s take it one step further…you both have children together.  Having children together means that you will still need to communicate with your spouse or at least make other arrangements for communication.  It is imperative to realize that a narcissist will still try to manipulate you or even your children.   Let’s explore what you need to know about divorcing a narcissist in New York.

Divorcing a narcissist in New York

What Are Some Common Behaviors of Narcissists


Narcissists hate taking accountability for their actions and many times they will intentionally provoke you to get a reaction out of you.  This is where you have to be able to recognize what they are doing and not give them the reaction that they are looking for.  Once they realize that you are no longer bothered or impacted by them, they will begin to lose their power over you. 


Narcissists Will Never Realize What They Did Wrong…They Will Only Blame You for Your Reaction to Their Actions


It is important to know that no matter what you try to do, it will be very difficult to win with them.  So, instead of trying to win the fight, learn how to identify and predict their behavior and control your responses.  Especially when there are children involved, it is key to learn how set boundaries and document all of their bad behavior.  If the court finds that they may present a danger to the children or sacrifice the best interest of the children, the court may limit the amount of time they get with their children.


Don’t Blame Yourself and Fall For Their Storyline



Don’t fall for their bait, narcissists have a nature to reel you in like they were out fishing, so remember to not fall for their bait.  The only way to get ahead is to truly understand that they will never change their behavior, therefore, you must realize how to manage the situation and maintain being calm, no matter what.


Determine What Triggers You and Neutralize Those Triggers


Self-awareness is key when it comes to dealing with a narcissistic ex.  Be aware of the behaviors your ex exhibits that pushes your buttons and learn to program yourself to not be impacted every time your button is pushed.  The more they get a reaction out of you, the more satisfaction they will get that their plan is working.  On the contrary, if you seem unbothered, they may have to find another victim; one that falls into their trap.


Need Help Divorcing a Narcissistic Spouse in New York?


Sabra Law Group can help you litigate your divorce and handle difficult divorce matters by communicating on your behalf.  Call Sabra Law Group today to schedule a confidential appointment to discuss your divorce at (646) 472-7971.


How You Can Have a Low-Conflict Divorce in New York City

Low Conflict Divorce in New YorkIt is possible to have a low-conflict divorce in New York City if you are prepared.   While being prepared can help you have a low-conflict divorce; it is important to remember that not everyone's soon-to-be ex is going to be cooperative. If you happen to have a spouse that is manipulative or narcissistic it may take a bit more work to have a low-stress divorce. A New York divorce mediation lawyer shares some tactics for having a low-conflict divorce in NYC below.


Get as Many Issues as Possible off the Table Before Seeking Outside Assistance


Before you retain the services of a divorce mediation lawyer or a New York divorce lawyer try to get a gauge for where things stand with your soon-to-be ex. Have an open and honest conversation with them to see which issues you may be able to resolve before getting outside assistance. It may be sensible to discuss things like do they want the divorce to be over as soon as possible. Or are they willing to fight it out in court because they're not willing to settle on some of the bigger things?  And even if you cannot resolve any issues, a professional will help you work through them and resolve them.


Focus on What's Really Important When it Comes to Divorce


Rather than focusing on material things, focus on the best interest of the children first and then proceed to other matters that must be resolved. Remember to not let other divorce matters take precedence over your children.


Refrain from Blaming Each Other and Pointing Fingers


Pointing out the negative aspects of your spouse is not going to help matters! Let's suppose that your spouse did cheat on you, but if you keep pointing that out to them over and over it's not going to help resolve the matters at hand. Keep your conversations focused on agreeing on key matters in the divorce. 


Divorce is complex and many issues have to be sorted through including child custody, child support, division of assets, and much more. By keeping your emotions out of the equation you're more likely to come to a quicker resolution that makes sense for both parties. Again, the right professional can help you stay focused on the issues at hand rather than letting your emotions interfere with reaching resolutions and making agreements.


Acknowledge That You Will Have to Compromise


By not compromising, the divorce process will only get delayed and your goal of having a low-conflict divorce will not be met. Remember that a high-conflict divorce is not only stressful but can take a toll on your mental health and the health of your children.  By not compromising, it can also end up costing you thousands of dollars more to divorce.


Seek the Right Support System for Your Needs


When you first announce to your network of friends and family that you're getting divorced; a lot of them may try to give you unwanted advice or interfere in your marriage problems. It's important to realize that not all of your friends are going to have your best interest at heart, and you have to determine who is truly there to be by your side and who is there to be judgmental. When it comes to finding the right support system, keep your circle small so that it keeps the private matters at hand more private. If you cherish your privacy, then you want to make sure that you only share private matters with friends and family who have proven to be discreet.


Most of All Don't Forget to Take Care of Yourself


Everyone knows that going through a divorce can be a taxing experience, therefore; it is important to take care of yourself. This means taking time for yourself to de-stress, unwind, take a walk, go to the gym, meditate, do yoga or do anything that you find relaxing.


Having to take care of the kids and possibly even having a full-time job while going through a divorce is not an easy task! However, if you remember to take some time for yourself every day, it can help set you up to be able to tackle whatever comes your way.


Consider Divorce Mediation in New York City if You Are Wanting a Low Conflict Divorce


Call Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971 at to schedule a confidential consultation. Whether you want to mediate your divorce or have more complex matters that require litigation, our New York divorce mediation firm is here to assist.




Should You Post on Social Media During a Divorce in New York?

Should You Post on Social Media During DivorceIf you're going through a divorce or planning to file for a divorce in New York you're probably wondering if it's a good idea to post on social media or not? There are both pros and cons of posting on social media during a divorce; however, if you can proceed with caution, you may be able to manage your social media account strategically during this time.


Whatever You Post on Social Media is Public and May Come Back to Haunt You Later


One of the most important things to keep in mind about posting on social media during divorce is that whatever you post is public information and it may be used against you in court. If you do decide to post on social media, make sure that you are not making any negative comments about your soon-to-be ex-husband.  Also, refrain from sharing anything related to your kids or parenting.


Be Prepared for Unwanted Advice and Judgment if You Do Share Your Divorce Publicly On Social Media


In case you decide to make your divorce public on social media; be prepared that people may also make their own judgments and give unwanted advice in the comment section. If your goal is only to put it out there to announce it so that you don't have to reach out to everyone individually then deactivate the comments section.


Ask Yourself if Sharing Your Divorce Publicly on Social Media Will Help You Heal or Prevent You from Healing


Remember that the more you talk about divorce publicly it can also prevent you from healing during the divorce process.  However, for some people, it can be therapeutic to get it out of their system. There are no set rules when it comes to this; so ultimately you have to do what you are comfortable with and what aligns with your personal values.


Be Careful Not to Share Any Personal Details of Your Divorce Online


Whenever you want to post on social media make sure that you think before you post; just as the saying goes “Think before you speak.” Another important aspect to remember is to keep personal matters personal and not share any personal information online. You can also check your social media platform privacy settings to make sure that you are only sharing your posts with the audience that you choose to; for example, Instagram has a feature where you can share your content with close friends in the stories section.


Would You Want to Rely on Your Friends and Family for Support?


You may also find it comforting to seek the support of your family and friends in real life versus friends or acquaintances on social media.


Always Put the Best Interest of Your Children First


If your children are old enough to be on social media, you may want to consider their feelings when it comes to making the divorce “public on social media.” Divorce can be especially challenging for children, so it is imperative to consider their feelings and show them that they matter.


Getting Divorced in New York City?


Contact Sabra Law Group for a divorce consultation at (646) 472-7971.  Whether you are planning on mediating or litigating your divorce, Sabra Law Group has years of experience handling simple to complex divorce matters.