Mediation

How to Reach a Win-Win Resolution in Your Marriage

Win-Win Communication

 

Conflict is a natural part of all human relationships. It's simply unrealistic to assume that you and your partner will always be in perfect accord. 

Moreover, conflict can be incredibly healthy, especially if it is concluded with a win-win resolution. This means settling a conflict can bring the two of you closer together and strengthen your relationship. 

Unfortunately, many relationships are rife with poor conflict resolution. Couples may fight and then hold a grudge for years without ever resolving the situation. Alternatively, they avoid the uncomfortable topic by sweeping it under the rug. Other couples freeze up with conflict, going through the motions of their relationship without feeling anything inside. 

A successful marriage requires the ability to forgive and forget, to move forward while letting the little things go. All of this needs dedication to a win-win resolution in every conflict. This doesn't necessarily mean that both partners get everything they want every time. That is an unrealistic expectation. 

It does mean that both partners maintain a commitment to treating each other with respect and decency. Even in the midst of a conflict, they stay close to each other. They tackle the issue rather than each other. 

By keeping a focus on the problem it's possible to disagree while still remaining connected and engaged. Each partner is committed to solving the problem in a manner that demonstrates how much they love and care for the other partner. One partner's goal isn't for him to "win" at all costs. Instead, both of their goals are for the marriage to win. 

Negotiation is the hallmark of most successful marriages. It requires that each partner do some deep reflection on what's really important to them in any conflict. In other words, what is their goal and why is it so vital to them? Then, these reasons must be articulated to their partner. With this approach, it is possible for both partners to understand and acknowledge the viewpoint of the other. 

Many couples discover that they occupy more common ground than they realized before. This facilitates a healthy and relatively fair negotiation in which both partners get a bit of what they wanted and understand the other better in the process. 

If you would like to learn more about how to achieve a win-win resolution in your marriage or as you work to amicably dissolve it, contact the Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971.

How to Plan for Retirement When Going Through a Divorce in New York

Divorce in New York

Going through a divorce can be a very difficult thing. This is especially true if you are nearing retirement. In such cases, you have to bear the risk of losing out on a significant portion of your savings. However, this does not need to be the case. With the right kind of legal guidance and prudent planning, you can protect your retirement fund. Here are some important factors to consider:

  1. Pre-Nuptial Agreement

In this day and age where almost half of all marriages in the US end in divorces, it is completely negligent to not have a prenup. While you might enter into a matrimonial bond purely based on romantic feelings, that does not exempt you from being prudent. However, most divorce cases do not have a prenup and if you are reading this, then, while it is probably already too late for a prenup, a post-nuptial agreement may be appropriate. Nevertheless, any person looking to get married should invest in a prenup that protects them, their assets and their children in case of divorce.

  1. Grounds for Divorce

During the hearing of a divorce case, it is very important to explain its cause. For example, if your spouse has had an adulterous relationship, then that is certainly grounds for divorce. Further, you can protect your finances from being split up with your former spouse. However, you are going to need sound professional advice in order to make that happen.

  1. The Agreement

It may happen that you want to get a divorce, but your spouse does not. Or it can be the case that your spouse has filed for divorce and now you might lose part of your savings. In such situations, you should seek out legal help as soon as possible. The details of every case are unique as are the people who are going to be advocating for each side. The best way to come out on top is to hire reputable and experienced divorce lawyers who can negotiate a favorable divorce agreement on your behalf.

Where Can You Get Legal Help to Plan for Retirement and Divorce in New York?

Sabra Law Group is one of the leading divorce specialists in New York. Sabra has helped countless clients resolve their divorces with the least impact possible on their retirement plans. Ensure your freedom and future security comes at the least possible price. Call 646-472-7971 and book an appointment with Sabra today!

The 5 Key Steps to Healthy Relationships and Marriage

5 Key Steps to Healthy Relationships

Maintaining a healthy relationship does not come easy.  It takes a collaborative effect from both partners to maintain a healthy relationship.

Learn the 5 Key Steps to Healthy Relationships

  1. Accept them for who they are: As you date someone and get to know them better, you will discover things about them that you don’t admire.  It is important to remember to still treat them with respect and understand that you may not always agree on everything.  They may have their own belief systems, values and ways of unique dealing with situations; cherish their point of view and be open to see things from their perspective.
  2. Meet the basic needs of a relationship:  People choose to be in a relationship for many reasons.  Some reasons include love, affection, emotional support and friendship.  For other people, their basic needs may be more elaborate, therefore, it is imperative to really listen to your partner and learn what is essential to their needs.
  3. The ability to forgive:  People are human and do make mistakes.  In a relationship, it is important to forgive.  The ability to forgive your partner is what allows you to move forward in the relationship.   It also prevents feelings of resentment.
  4. The ability to solve problems:  Every relationship will encounter problems but it is how one handles complex situations that determines the outcome.  By making a conscious effort to solve conflict and problems in a relationship and getting past the issues is a great way to maintain a healthy relationship.  Furthermore, it can even bring you closer together.
  5. Apologize when you are in the wrong: Apologize quickly when you know you have done something wrong to upset your partner.  Taking too long to acknowledge that you did something wrong will make matters worse.  Part of having any healthy relationship is the ability to communicate honestly and effectively.

Are You in an Unhealthy Relationship or Marriage?

If you are in an unhealthy relationship or marriage, and have done your best to make it work, it may be time to explore other options.  Ask your partner if they are willing to go to couples’ counseling, relationship coaching and to learn how to make adjustments in their (and your) behavior for the sake of the relationship.  If all else fails, it may be time to move on, close the chapter on this relationship and then move on to a healthier relationship.

If you have questions about divorce or divorce mediation, contact Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.

How to Take Control of Your Divorce in New York City

When you got married, you didn’t plan on getting divorced.  However, if your marriage is heading toward divorce, there are some things you can do now to be better prepared and in control. 

Divorce can be very costly. It can take a long time and it can be financially expensive.  One way to reduce both the time and the expense is to avoid unnecessary litigation and explore other possible methods for ending your marriage. (Sabra Law Group can help you figure that out in a Discovery Session).

Whether you intend to file for divorce or if you are caught off guard by your spouse, it is important to compose yourself and control your emotions so that you can engage in the divorce process with a rational and thoughtful mind.  If you find it challenging to control your emotions, then you may want to consider talking with a therapist, psychologist or a divorce coach.  When your emotions take over, you can almost inevitably be assured that your divorce will be very costly (both in time and resources).  

You may also receive advice from well-meaning friends and family about taking possession of at least half of your marital assets.  Depending upon where you are in the divorce process, that may or may not be beneficial to your situation.  Consulting with a New York divorce attorney or a New York divorce mediator who can help you make decisions about essential next steps and how to best protect yourself would be helpful.  Furthermore, you can check out this book for more information and considerations regarding your money, your children and divorce.

Additional Resources for Your Divorce

In addition to a divorce mediator and divorce lawyer, you may need a therapist for your children or yourself if your divorce is extremely traumatic or simply to help you and your children to process this new change in your lives. Now is a good time to increase your attention to your self-care and take up an activity, such as running, yoga, meditation, or other activities to help calm your nerves as well as reduce stress levels.  Finding a local divorce support group can also be beneficial as it gives you the opportunity to connect with other people who can relate to what you are going through. 

Additionally, you may want to consult a tax advisor, a financial consultant or a certified divorce financial advisor to help you understand your finances and explore various possibilities for equitable distribution and support.  And if there is marital property, you may also need a real estate consultant or appraiser. 

Compile Useful Documents As Soon as Possible

Gather financial documents, including tax returns, bank statements, statements for any brokerage accounts, retirement accounts, credit cards, mortgages, car loans, and other bills.  Obtaining complete account numbers for all of these resources would be helpful as well.

Need Assistance Preparing for Your Divorce in New York City?

As you can see, there are a lot of moving parts and there may be a need to work with several different professionals who can assist you through the divorce process.  For more information about how to prepare for your divorce, and where to start first, contact Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971 to schedule an appointment for your personal Discovery Session.

Learn Why People Stay in Unhappy Marriages

The reasons people divorce will vary from one couple to the next.  Some people decide to divorce because of infidelity or domestic abuse, whereas, for others it may simply be that they no longer get along. 

One of the main reasons people stay in unhappy marriages is because of their children.  Parents will go to any length to make sacrifices for their children.  One of these sacrifices is staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children.  

The problem with doing this is that it may produce an unhealthy environment for the children.  Children learn from their surroundings and environment.  If you and your spouse are constantly arguing and fighting, then your children may be raised with the wrong perception of marriage.  Your children may fail to have a realistic outlook on what a healthy relationship and a healthy marriage really is or should entail. 

Another reason people stay in a marriage is because of the bond you once had.  Sometimes, it is hard to let go of the good times and memories.  If your mind drifts back to the time you first met and things were all rosy, it may be keeping you from thinking clearly about your future.  This false perception that because things were once good, they can be good again can be destructive.  It is better to make your decisions based on reality and not old memories that are no longer valid. 

Sometimes couples can overcome difficulties in a marriage with the assistance of various professionals – including couples therapists, marital mediation, relationship coaching and through other committed effort by the couple.

In other instances, fear keeps people in unhealthy marriages.  The fear of the unknown, the fear of being alone, the fear of being a single parent all drive people to stay together.   If you allow fear to rule your life and decision-making process, your judgment will become clouded and may prevent you from moving forward in your life. 

Evaluate Your Decision to Stay in a Marriage Based on What Makes You Happy and What is in the Best Interest of Your Children

Of course, there are certain factors that may influence your decision to stay in a marriage or not, however, make sure that you’re making decisions for the right reasons. 

If you have questions about divorce or how to best protect your children during the divorce process, contact Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971.

Important Questions to Ask Before Filing for Divorce in New York

Making the decision to get divorced is never an easy one.  It should however, be a well-thought out decision.  You should never take making such a critical decision lightly. 

You may be confused, angry and frustrated, however, you must think logically and strategically for the best outcome.

Ask Yourself the Below Questions Before Making the Big Decision:

  1. Do you still love your spouse?  Love may not be the answer that saves your marriage, however, it may be a sign that you should still try to salvage your marriage.  Every married couple goes through difficult times but that does not mean they end their marriage.
  2. Has your spouse betrayed you?  Has your spouse cheated on you? Has your spouse lied to you?  Have you realized that your spouse has been shutting you out and keeping secrets from you? Betrayal can be a difficult pill to swallow.  You may have to consider the extent of the betrayal and if you are willing to forgive your spouse or not.  You may need the assistance of a family therapist or a relationship coach to help you through this. 
  3. Have you grown apart?  Many couples get divorced because they have grown apart.   Have you tried to schedule more quality time with your partner to reconnect?  Does your spouse respect your interests, dreams and aspirations?
  4. Is your spouse’s career tearing your marriage apart? Does your spouse travel all the time?  Are you left alone to raise the kids while your spouse is never around to partake in family responsibilities?  Would your spouse consider traveling less for work or a new career? 
  5. Do you argue all the time?  There are many reasons couples argue.  Some of these reasons are financial stress, while others are due to lack of respect for each other’s opinions.
  6. Will you be able to manage on your own financially once you separate?  Many couples stay together due to financial reasons.  If you are a stay at home mom, are you willing to go back to work in order to support yourself?  Have you researched what type of expenses you will have if you were to split?

Consult an Experienced Divorce Mediation Attorney Before Filing for Divorce in New York

If you are unsure about your decision to divorce, it may help you get more clarity by getting answers to your questions about filing for divorce in New York.  Contact Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971

7 Bad Habits that Can Break a Marriage

January is known as “divorce month”, once the holidays are over and a new year approaches, people are anxious to close bad chapters of their lives.

If you don’t want to end up as a divorce statistic, you need to avoid bad habits that can break a marriage. 

Bad Habits that Can Be Detrimental to Your Marriage

  1. Always having the last word.  If you are trying to win an argument for the sake of winning, know that it may damage your marriage.
  2. Bad or ineffective communication skills.  Good communication skills are essential in life, but even more important in a marriage. If you are no longer communicating openly with your spouse, how can your spouse fix the problem?  
  3. Constantly criticizing.  No one likes to be criticizing all the time; let alone nitpicked about everything.  Try to see the good in situations and your partner instead of seeking the negative. Or try getting curious about the thing that has irked you.  Why did they do what they did? Ask curiousity questions. A positive attitude goes a long way.
  4. Harboring resentment against your spouse.  Resentment can build up and slowly destroy your marriage.  Forgiveness is a huge part of marriage, learn to forgive so you can move forward in a healthy way. Resentment may also be a sign of something you are noticing that is missing from your relationship.  For instance, if you are feeling resentment every time your spouse leaves the home for work, maybe you are missing time with your spouse.  So instead of feeding your resentment toward your spouse, ask your spouse for some alone time together, maybe a “date night”.
  5. Lack of intimacy.   Even with the demands of children, work, and everyday life, it is essential to make time for each other.  It is important to plan dates nights that allow you to have quality, alone time with your spouse without the children around. 
  6. Distracted communication.  Always glued to your computer or cell phone when your spouse is trying to have an important conversation with you can have a negative impact.  Try to give your spouse undivided attention when they are trying to have an important conversation with you. Or even simpler than that, what if you gave your spouse 15 minutes of your full undivided attention every day, what might that do for your relationship?
  7. Being abusive.  Abuse can come in the form of verbal, physical or emotional abuse.  No matter what type of abuse exists in a marriage, it is unacceptable.  Your spouse may tolerate it for the time being, but ultimately, it can put an end to your marriage for good.  If you are the abuser, seek professional help to get to the root of the problem rather than taking it out on your spouse.

Avoid Bad Habits That Can Break a Marriage

If you are on the receiving end of the bad habits, you may have no choice but to consider divorce, or you can explore ways to respond differently to your spouse’ behaviors in a way that will  result in a change in your spouse’s behavior.  If you are curious how you can change your behavior or reaction, or are considering divorce, contact Sabra Law Group for guidance.  You can schedule an appointment with Sabra at (646) 472-7971

Making the Difficult Decision to Divorce in New York

The holidays are finally over.  You have stayed with your spouse for as long as possible for the sake of the children, however, now you are at your all time frustration level.  Making the decision to get divorced is never an easy one, however, you have to evaluate if things may improve or not.

Have you exhausted all options available to you?  Have you tried counseling or a relationship coach? Have you tried to talk to your spouse openly about the things that bother you in your marriage?  Have you tried to move past the betrayal but just can’t seem to forgive?  If you have genuinely tried to make your marriage work but have been unsuccessful, it may be time to consider divorce. 

Even though divorce should always be the last resort, sometimes it is the only way to get your life back.   Furthermore, it may the only way to raise your children in a healthy environment.  It is not in the best interest of the children to be raised in an environment where parents are constantly arguing and fighting. 

When You Are Faced with Making the Difficult Decision to Divorce

Divorce can be very difficult to deal with mentally, emotionally and even physically.  Even though divorce can be extremely stressful there are ways to navigate through it successfully. 

When you change your perspective on divorce, it can change how you react to it.  Try to look at the positives of getting divorced.  Divorce may allow you to get your freedom and voice back.  Furthermore, you may be able to live a happier life without the constant stress of a marriage that is no longer working. 

You Don’t Have to Make an Immediate Decision

Divorce is a lifelong decision so it should be made carefully.   If you are confused about making the decision to divorce in New York, consult a divorce mediation lawyer.   A Manhattan divorce mediation lawyer can answer your questions and explain the divorce process to you.  You should also consider your financial situation and how you will survive financially during and after divorce.  You may also have to make some life changes, such as going back to work full-time or relocating. 

If you have questions about divorce, contact Sabra Law Group today and schedule your appointment with Sabra at (646) 472-7971.

How to Handle Finances When You Are Going Through a Divorce

With divorce, comes many responsibilities.  In addition to handling child support and custody matters, you must also be prepared to deal with finances.  Financial responsibilities during divorce include handling property, cars, stock, 401K, and more. Furthermore, you also need to consider any vacation properties or investments purchased together during the marriage.

If you make smart financial decisions during your divorce, you will be setting yourself up for a stable future.

Consider the tips below on finances when you are going through a divorce:

  1. Have a clear understanding of what Is taxable.  For instance, you should be aware that spousal support is taxable (for any divorces that happen prior to December 31, 2018).  For the person that pays the spousal support, they can classify spousal support as a tax deductible. On the other hand, child support is not taxable to the recipient. 
  2. Do not forget about the change in exemptions.  For married couples, the exemption for capital gains is higher than it is for single people.  When it comes to deciding if you will live in the house for many years or not, it is important to consider the implications.  You must realize that capital gain taxes will be much higher if you keep the house short-term.  
  3. Understand the tax implications for retirement accounts.  It is best to consult with your accountant or financial advisor and determine the best course of action.  Your accountant can help you determine if you should keep your retirement accounts or cash them out.  By making more educated decisions regarding your finances, you will have a better financial outcome. 
  4. Realize that there are no guarantees with stocks.  Because there is really no way to determine, with accuracy, how a particular stock will perform, it may be best to split them in half and equally divide the stock with your spouse.  
  5. Factor in any outstanding debts: make a list of outstanding debts and determine who will be responsible for paying what. 

Do You Have Questions About How to Handle Finances During a Divorce?

This article addresses a small portion of the financial decisions that need to be made in divorce.  Schedule a confidential consultation with an attorney today to learn more about your specific situation and receive a comprehensive list of financial items to be discussed and resolved in your divorce. Sabra is an attorney with almost two decades of experience in both real estate law and divorce mediation.  Contact the office today at (646) 472-7971 and schedule your appointment.

How to Have a Happy Holiday Season After Divorce

The holidays are stressful enough, and when divorce gets added to the equation, it increases stress.   Regardless of the timing of your divorce, there is never an ideal time for divorce.  This is especially true when you have to break the news of divorce to your children. 

If your divorce was recently finalized or if you are in the process of a divorce, this may be your first holiday season apart.  For your children, there will be an adjustment period.  Children look forwards to spending special occasions and holidays with both of their parents. 

Even though your children cannot be in two places at the same time, there are some tips to ease the pain.   Follow the suggestions below for a merrier holiday season:

  1. Plan Something New & Exciting: Children may be accustomed to traditions from the past.  Create new traditions that can make their holiday season a happy and memorable one.  Ask them to make a list of 5 things they have been meaning to do or try but haven’t yet.  Once you have the list, you can plan a surprise for them and build some new, beautiful memories together.
  2. Make Time to Talk to Your Children:  This means to make time to really discuss their feelings and ask them (if they are old enough) how they are coping with the pressure of everything.  Children have their own set of stress at school.  Your children may be dealing with bullying, peer pressure, or having issues with their grades.  By showing them that you are there to listen to them and support them, it may help them open up about their feelings about the divorce as well.
  3. Respect Your Children’s Wishes:  If your children really want to spend time with your former spouse, do not deprive them of that.  Remember to always put the best interest of your children first. You can always a find a way to effectively co-parent if you work together instead of against each other.  It is essential to remember that the more accommodating you are, the easier the custody process will be.

You Can Have a Happy Holiday Season After Divorce

If you or someone you know is facing divorce and needs assistance with a parenting plan or divorce mediation, Sabra’s Divorce Mediation process can help.  Contact Sabra Law Group today for to schedule your confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.