Mediation

Learn Why Divorce Mediation May Be the Better Option Than a Litigated Divorce in Manhattan

Is going to court the best way to get divorced? Although dramatic courtroom proceedings frequently are depicted in films, this rarely is the best choice for couples who have decided to go their separate ways.

A litigated divorce tends to be more contentious, and it certainly is more public. Typically, the divorcing couple that chooses to litigate spends more time, money, and stress throughout a painful, prolonged process.

The great news is that there is a better option. Divorce mediation is becoming the default choice for an increasing number of Manhattan couples.

Are you familiar with mediation? Maybe you think there's no way for you and your partner to agree on anything without a judge handing down a decision. However, you'd probably be surprised. Mediation is a tested and proven method for achieving a more amicable dissolution.

Guidance You Need

Divorce mediation in Manhattan can provide essential guidance when you and your spouse can't agree. It's an effective option when complex issues arise because a knowledgeable mediator can offer valuable, innovative solutions that may have worked for other families. It's also possible to tailor solutions to meet your family's unique needs.

Giving Couples More Control

In Manhattan divorce mediation, the major decisions remain in the couple's hands. In a litigated divorce, an overloaded judge will have just a few minutes to make some critical decisions for you. You and your spouse know your situation better than anyone, and mediation gives you an opportunity to compromise on solutions that are healthier for the whole family.

A Faster Process

A litigated divorce requires more time than divorce mediation. There's little to gain by dragging out the process. Choosing mediation gives you a swifter resolution that's probably a lot more workable and realistic for your family.

Save Money

Divorce can be costly, especially if the couple decides to litigate. With multiple filings by each attorney and hours of arguing and reams of correspondence, the bills mount with lightning speed. Divorce mediation saves you money by letting the couples deal with each other via a mediator, which minimizes the need for multiple attorneys.

Contact Sabra Law Group

Do you want to learn more about Manhattan divorce mediation? Contact Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to learn more about this less confrontational and more cost-effective option.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                      

 

The Marriage rate has been decreasing. Surprised? Blame COVID?

Marriage During COVID-19

According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), for data compiled for the United States: the marriage rate is 6.1 per 1,000 total population. And there are 2,015,603 marriages with 746,971 divorces (45 reporting States and D.C.). 

Overall, it’s been widely reported that roughly 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce or separation. What’s more, a second marriage increases the likelihood of divorce–at a whopping 60 percent, and 73% of all third marriages result in a divorce. 

In fact, the marriage rate has reportedly been consistently decreasing for many years. Couples have also reportedly been delaying marriage. More recently, COVID can be blamed for much of this…After all, the pandemic has caused extreme financial stress, family stress, and more for countless people across the world. Plus, it’s just more difficult to plan a marriage if you can’t do an in-person wedding or have all your guests attend. It’s just so uncertain in these times whether you’ll get sick or a family member as well. 

As reported in The Hill: “Since the start of the 21st century, the U.S. marriage rate has declined from more than eight marriages per 1,000 down to six marriages per 1,000 population in 2019. … In 2020, the proportion of households consisting of married couples fell to 49 percent.” People have also reportedly been delaying marriage too. 

So, why do married couples split anyways? According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the main reasons for divorce include incompatibility (43%), infidelity (28%), and money issues (22%). “Incompatible” similar to “irreconcilable differences” is a very broad umbrella that can account for a whole host of reasons, such as couples simple falling apart overtime or simply no longer getting along…there may not be a specific reason to pin-point either. It’s just not working anymore. 

“Infidelity” is more straightforward, yet often is difficult to prove. One party may have cheated on the other or both parties may have been unfaithful. While this may have no affect on the outcome of the divorce – giving you or your spouse more, or less, of the assets and/or spousal support – it is a basis for filing for divorce based upon “no fault” or “adultery”.

And “money issues” can run the gamut. A spouse may have been laid off at work and unable to find employment. The couple may have taken on too much debt, such as credit cards or car loans or a mortgage they can no longer afford or student loan debt. A risky business venture investment may have failed. Not to mention, many people come into a marriage already with thousands of dollars in debt. Or the wife may suddenly make a lot more money than the husband and no longer want to split everything. The couple may be suffering, as well, from medical debt from a unforeseen procedure. Plus, when you factor children into the mix, another mouth to feed and clothe and support, the financial strain only increases. Money isn’t the root of all evil, but it is indeed a big factor in many failed marriages. 

Nobody goes into a marriage thinking it will end in divorce. Rather, people in love believe they will defy the statistics.  Still, the numbers don’t lie—divorce is inevitable for many couples. 

But people are still falling in love and planning weddings and marriages, with that, getting divorced too. 

If you’re looking to tie-the-knot (or un-tie it), contact the Sabra Law Group in Manhattan at (646) 472-7971. The firm’s expertise is in all forms of family law, such as alimony, divorce, prenuptial agreements, post-nuptial agreements, child custody battles, child support, domestic violence, and restraining orders. 

 

Manhattan Mediator Explains How to Determine if You Should Get Divorced

Does the tension in your marriage build every day? At night, you toss and turn, trying to decide if it's time to say goodbye.

Getting married was a momentous decision, and deciding to part is at least as critical. Here are some guidelines for how to determine if you should get divorced.

Look for the Warning Signs

Certain signs can tell you if it's time to end your marriage. One of them is the persistent feeling that you'd be better off alone. Perhaps you feel this way because your needs are no longer being met. When you got married, you viewed your relationship as a partnership. Each spouse was dedicated to fulfilling the emotional, physical, and spiritual needs of the other. When you feel that your needs are consistently going unmet, it may be time to seek a divorce.

Are You Staying in the Marriage Only for the Sake of the Children?

If you're looking for more evidence, then ask yourself if you're only staying together for the kids. Many parents fall into this trap, but that's precisely what it is. Staying in a toxic marriage isn't healthy for you or the kids. It's far better to go your own way and lead healthier, separate lives.

Consider Going to Counseling to Repair Your Marriage

What steps have you taken to try to repair your marriage? Many couples try counseling, and this can be successful. It's a good idea to give counseling a shot. Even if things don't work out, at least you'll know you gave it your best. If you've been through counseling and you're still miserable, then it's time to call it quits.
Recognize When it is Time to Leave a Bad Marriage

As a Manhattan mediator can tell you, it's time to leave a marriage when the partnership is seen as the lesser of two evils. Don't stay in a marriage just because you think it's the easier route. Divorce can cause considerable disruption, but it also gives you both the opportunity to build new, happier lives. You can even make choices, like opting for mediation over litigation, that makes the process less acrimonious. 

Divorce Doesn’t Have to Be Negative

When you work with a Manhattan mediator, you'll learn that it is possible to make divorce a more positive process that can settle major issues more efficiently and privately. Couples who choose mediation are able to start creating their new lives sooner than those who choose to go to court.

Speak to a Manhattan Mediator to Determine the Best Route for Your Divorce

If you would like to speak with a Manhattan mediator to learn more about how to determine if you should get divorced, call the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Manage Co-Parenting in New York with a Narcissistic Ex-Spouse

Narcissistic Ex-Spouse

Maybe you decided to divorce your spouse because they had quite the personality.  A personality that can be defined as narcissistic.  Narcissistic personalities are very difficult to handle for several reasons.  For one, they only think of themselves and their own needs.

A narcissistic ex usually has an excessive need for attention, and they also lack empathy. 
Depending on the type of narcissist they happen to be, they may be even more challenging to deal with when it comes to co-parenting.  

5 Ways to Manage Co-Parenting in New York with a Narcissistic Ex 

1)    Set Boundaries:  Boundaries are going to be essential when it comes to dealing with a narcissistic ex. Your ex may like to push the boundaries, but it is important to call out unacceptable behavior as it happens.  When you do call out the bad behavior, it is important to speak in a calm but firm tone. 
2)    Focus on the Parenting Plan:  Keep the focus on developing a highly structured parenting plan.  This will be instrumental to having a systematic method to handle co-parenting.  Make sure that parenting schedules, holidays, and vacations are outlined in great detail.  The more detailed the parenting plan is, the less room there will be for misunderstandings and miscommunication. 
3)    Consult a New York Mediator Who Can Help You:  Utilizing a third-party mediator will be a lifesaver when it comes to working out conflict and co-parenting issues that you are not able to come to a resolution on with your ex. 
4)    Stay Calm No Matter What: A challenging, narcissistic ex-spouse will push your buttons, but remember that you have full control over how you react.  Sometimes, they may push your buttons just to irritate you.  When they see that you are not that bothered…they may not try as hard to push your buttons. 
5)    Set the Right Example for Your Children:  If you need to vent about your ex, do not vent to your children.  Some days will be very difficult when it comes to dealing with your ex, but have a friend or family member that you can reach out to when you need someone to talk to about your ex. 

Need Help Managing Co-Parenting with Your Narcissistic Ex-Spouse?

Contact Sabra Law Group today to speak to an experienced mediator who can help you deal with your narcissistic ex and develop a parenting plan that is designed to protect the best interest of your children. Call Sabra today at (646) 472-7971.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Keeping Your Divorce Out of Court Can Save You Time and Money 

Out of Court Too frequently, people assume that the only way to complete divorce proceedings is in court. They envision numerous court dates in which all the details of their divorce are argued over and decided.

This perception may prevail in divorces that are relatively amicable and in those that are filled with animosity. However, court proceedings don't have to be the order of the day when a couple is looking to go their separate ways.

Mediation is a much more cost-effective and efficient manner to end a marriage. Contrary to popular belief, it's not necessary to have a judge make critical decisions for your family. You and your former partner have the power to make these decisions, and that tends to lead to better solutions for the entire family.

Through mediation, it's possible to negotiate all facets of your divorce. This even includes the hot-button issues like child custody, child support and alimony. The division of property and assets also can be decided out of court without a judge ever having to make a decree.

When you and your former partner agree to mediate instead of litigate, you are potentially saving yourselves tens of thousands of dollars. This is not only because legal services in courtroom divorce proceedings are expensive but also because court filings and court dates cost money as well.

Moreover, when you litigate a divorce, many of the proceedings happen on the court's schedule. It's probably not surprising to hear that court dockets are pretty crowded, and that judges sometimes take vacations. All of this means that it could be months or even a year or two before the court can get around to hearing your divorce.

It's also worth noting that one court appearance may not be enough to settle the issues in your divorce. This means that you'll have to schedule a later court date. How many months down the road will that be?

When you resolve to keep your divorce out of court, you are making a decision that's healthy and financially responsible for the whole family. Mediation may enable your divorce to be settled within just a few weeks or months and at far less expense than court proceedings. The outcome is that you get to move forward with your new life sooner.

If you want to save time and money by keeping your divorce out of court, then contact the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

Why Divorce Mediation is a Better Option Than Litigation

Manhattan Divorce Mediation Lawyer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When contemplating divorce, many people envision themselves enduring contentious courtroom proceedings. While some portions of the divorce process do take place in the courtroom, this does not have to be true for all of the proceedings.

Divorce mediation is a more amicable and creative method for settling disputes in a marriage dissolution, and it has numerous benefits when compared to litigating every issue in the split.

For instance, mediation gives the divorcing couple more control over the proceedings and the outcome of the divorce. Rather than having important decisions dictated by a judge, the couple can work together, with an impartial mediator, to resolve even the thorniest questions in their divorce.

Moreover, the collaborative process of mediation may help the couple to improve their communication skills. Since they may need to continue to work together for some years after their divorce is finalized, this improvement may smooth the way for future interactions. Having learned that they can talk to each other and reach mutually beneficial decisions in a more harmonious and less contentious way, the couple may use the newly acquired communication skills for years to come.

When children are involved, mediation is nearly always a desirable alternative to litigation. Divorce is most painful for kids no matter which method of divorce, so it's in your children’s best interest to resolve the dissolution quickly, amicably and with as little disruption to their lives as possible. Plus, knowing that their parents can work together sets a wonderful example for children and their future relationships.

It's also worth noting that mediation tends to be less expensive than litigation. Filing numerous motions, making court appearances and dealing with all related issues in a contentious battle can mean that legal bills quickly climb. Since divorce mediation helps to avoid the filing of some motions and making court appearances, costs are kept to a minimum.

More couples also are choosing mediation because the proceedings are private. Motions that are filed with the court may become a matter of public record. However, the mediation sessions and the discussions that take place during them are utterly private. While some of the decisions made will result in court filings, the negotiation process and a great deal of sensitive information never needs to be revealed.

If you are interested in knowing more about how divorce mediation is a healthy alternative for every member of the family and how you can get a harmonious divorce, call the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971. The many years and extensive mediation experience makes these legal professionals well-suited to guide you through the process efficiently, painlessly and cost-effectively.

 

How to Reach a Win-Win Resolution in Your Marriage

Win-Win Communication

 

Conflict is a natural part of all human relationships. It's simply unrealistic to assume that you and your partner will always be in perfect accord. 

Moreover, conflict can be incredibly healthy, especially if it is concluded with a win-win resolution. This means settling a conflict can bring the two of you closer together and strengthen your relationship. 

Unfortunately, many relationships are rife with poor conflict resolution. Couples may fight and then hold a grudge for years without ever resolving the situation. Alternatively, they avoid the uncomfortable topic by sweeping it under the rug. Other couples freeze up with conflict, going through the motions of their relationship without feeling anything inside. 

A successful marriage requires the ability to forgive and forget, to move forward while letting the little things go. All of this needs dedication to a win-win resolution in every conflict. This doesn't necessarily mean that both partners get everything they want every time. That is an unrealistic expectation. 

It does mean that both partners maintain a commitment to treating each other with respect and decency. Even in the midst of a conflict, they stay close to each other. They tackle the issue rather than each other. 

By keeping a focus on the problem it's possible to disagree while still remaining connected and engaged. Each partner is committed to solving the problem in a manner that demonstrates how much they love and care for the other partner. One partner's goal isn't for him to "win" at all costs. Instead, both of their goals are for the marriage to win. 

Negotiation is the hallmark of most successful marriages. It requires that each partner do some deep reflection on what's really important to them in any conflict. In other words, what is their goal and why is it so vital to them? Then, these reasons must be articulated to their partner. With this approach, it is possible for both partners to understand and acknowledge the viewpoint of the other. 

Many couples discover that they occupy more common ground than they realized before. This facilitates a healthy and relatively fair negotiation in which both partners get a bit of what they wanted and understand the other better in the process. 

If you would like to learn more about how to achieve a win-win resolution in your marriage or as you work to amicably dissolve it, contact the Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971.

How to Plan for Retirement When Going Through a Divorce in New York

Divorce in New York

Going through a divorce can be a very difficult thing. This is especially true if you are nearing retirement. In such cases, you have to bear the risk of losing out on a significant portion of your savings. However, this does not need to be the case. With the right kind of legal guidance and prudent planning, you can protect your retirement fund. Here are some important factors to consider:

  1. Pre-Nuptial Agreement

In this day and age where almost half of all marriages in the US end in divorces, it is completely negligent to not have a prenup. While you might enter into a matrimonial bond purely based on romantic feelings, that does not exempt you from being prudent. However, most divorce cases do not have a prenup and if you are reading this, then, while it is probably already too late for a prenup, a post-nuptial agreement may be appropriate. Nevertheless, any person looking to get married should invest in a prenup that protects them, their assets and their children in case of divorce.

  1. Grounds for Divorce

During the hearing of a divorce case, it is very important to explain its cause. For example, if your spouse has had an adulterous relationship, then that is certainly grounds for divorce. Further, you can protect your finances from being split up with your former spouse. However, you are going to need sound professional advice in order to make that happen.

  1. The Agreement

It may happen that you want to get a divorce, but your spouse does not. Or it can be the case that your spouse has filed for divorce and now you might lose part of your savings. In such situations, you should seek out legal help as soon as possible. The details of every case are unique as are the people who are going to be advocating for each side. The best way to come out on top is to hire reputable and experienced divorce lawyers who can negotiate a favorable divorce agreement on your behalf.

Where Can You Get Legal Help to Plan for Retirement and Divorce in New York?

Sabra Law Group is one of the leading divorce specialists in New York. Sabra has helped countless clients resolve their divorces with the least impact possible on their retirement plans. Ensure your freedom and future security comes at the least possible price. Call 646-472-7971 and book an appointment with Sabra today!

The 5 Key Steps to Healthy Relationships and Marriage

5 Key Steps to Healthy Relationships

Maintaining a healthy relationship does not come easy.  It takes a collaborative effect from both partners to maintain a healthy relationship.

Learn the 5 Key Steps to Healthy Relationships

  1. Accept them for who they are: As you date someone and get to know them better, you will discover things about them that you don’t admire.  It is important to remember to still treat them with respect and understand that you may not always agree on everything.  They may have their own belief systems, values and ways of unique dealing with situations; cherish their point of view and be open to see things from their perspective.
  2. Meet the basic needs of a relationship:  People choose to be in a relationship for many reasons.  Some reasons include love, affection, emotional support and friendship.  For other people, their basic needs may be more elaborate, therefore, it is imperative to really listen to your partner and learn what is essential to their needs.
  3. The ability to forgive:  People are human and do make mistakes.  In a relationship, it is important to forgive.  The ability to forgive your partner is what allows you to move forward in the relationship.   It also prevents feelings of resentment.
  4. The ability to solve problems:  Every relationship will encounter problems but it is how one handles complex situations that determines the outcome.  By making a conscious effort to solve conflict and problems in a relationship and getting past the issues is a great way to maintain a healthy relationship.  Furthermore, it can even bring you closer together.
  5. Apologize when you are in the wrong: Apologize quickly when you know you have done something wrong to upset your partner.  Taking too long to acknowledge that you did something wrong will make matters worse.  Part of having any healthy relationship is the ability to communicate honestly and effectively.

Are You in an Unhealthy Relationship or Marriage?

If you are in an unhealthy relationship or marriage, and have done your best to make it work, it may be time to explore other options.  Ask your partner if they are willing to go to couples’ counseling, relationship coaching and to learn how to make adjustments in their (and your) behavior for the sake of the relationship.  If all else fails, it may be time to move on, close the chapter on this relationship and then move on to a healthier relationship.

If you have questions about divorce or divorce mediation, contact Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.

How to Take Control of Your Divorce in New York City

When you got married, you didn’t plan on getting divorced.  However, if your marriage is heading toward divorce, there are some things you can do now to be better prepared and in control. 

Divorce can be very costly. It can take a long time and it can be financially expensive.  One way to reduce both the time and the expense is to avoid unnecessary litigation and explore other possible methods for ending your marriage. (Sabra Law Group can help you figure that out in a Discovery Session).

Whether you intend to file for divorce or if you are caught off guard by your spouse, it is important to compose yourself and control your emotions so that you can engage in the divorce process with a rational and thoughtful mind.  If you find it challenging to control your emotions, then you may want to consider talking with a therapist, psychologist or a divorce coach.  When your emotions take over, you can almost inevitably be assured that your divorce will be very costly (both in time and resources).  

You may also receive advice from well-meaning friends and family about taking possession of at least half of your marital assets.  Depending upon where you are in the divorce process, that may or may not be beneficial to your situation.  Consulting with a New York divorce attorney or a New York divorce mediator who can help you make decisions about essential next steps and how to best protect yourself would be helpful.  Furthermore, you can check out this book for more information and considerations regarding your money, your children and divorce.

Additional Resources for Your Divorce

In addition to a divorce mediator and divorce lawyer, you may need a therapist for your children or yourself if your divorce is extremely traumatic or simply to help you and your children to process this new change in your lives. Now is a good time to increase your attention to your self-care and take up an activity, such as running, yoga, meditation, or other activities to help calm your nerves as well as reduce stress levels.  Finding a local divorce support group can also be beneficial as it gives you the opportunity to connect with other people who can relate to what you are going through. 

Additionally, you may want to consult a tax advisor, a financial consultant or a certified divorce financial advisor to help you understand your finances and explore various possibilities for equitable distribution and support.  And if there is marital property, you may also need a real estate consultant or appraiser. 

Compile Useful Documents As Soon as Possible

Gather financial documents, including tax returns, bank statements, statements for any brokerage accounts, retirement accounts, credit cards, mortgages, car loans, and other bills.  Obtaining complete account numbers for all of these resources would be helpful as well.

Need Assistance Preparing for Your Divorce in New York City?

As you can see, there are a lot of moving parts and there may be a need to work with several different professionals who can assist you through the divorce process.  For more information about how to prepare for your divorce, and where to start first, contact Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971 to schedule an appointment for your personal Discovery Session.