New York Divorce

5 Valid Fears That Keep People in a Bad Marriage

Getting Out of a Bad MarriageThere are so many reasons that people stay in a bad marriage, but the number one reason is fear.  There is a huge fear of the unknown amongst other things.  Let’s explore 10 valid fears that keep people in a bad marriage.

 

Not Being Able to Survive Financially on Your Own

 

Let’s face it, the financial aspect of divorce is a huge factor that induces fear.  Let’s suppose that your spouse is the sole income provider and you have spent the majority of the marriage taking care of the children.  Now…being faced with having to go back into the workforce after years of not working can be a scary thought.

 

Being Worried About How Divorce May Impact the Children

 

One of the main reasons people delay divorce is because of the welfare of their children.  Some parents even stay in a bad marriage until the children are of legal age in order to protect their children from the ramifications of divorce. 

 

Being Alone or Lonely

 

Especially if one has been married for many years, the thought of having to be single or start over can be scary.  It makes it harder if one has been dependent on their spouse for everything.  After being accustomed to having your spouse around and relying on them for friendship, emotional and financial support, going at it alone may instill a bit of anxiety. 

 

Feeling Like You Will Never Meet Someone and Being Alone

 

The thought of getting back out there in the dating realm can be difficult for some people to comprehend.  Couple that with a lack of confidence and it becomes a fear that may keep someone in a bad marriage longer than they need to be.  Confidence can be built up over time and by doing things that help you feel and look your best.  Working out, eating right, dressing up even just to go to the grocery store can boost your mood and confidence.

 

The Guilt of Hurting Your Spouse

 

Guilt is another factor that may impact staying in a bad marriage or not.  One may feel guilty for wanting to leave their spouse; especially if their spouse is emotionally fragile. Divorce is painful by nature and most people do not want to intentionally hurt their spouse.

 

Are You Scared of Leaving a Bad Marriage?

 

If you are scared of leaving a bad marriage, you are not alone.  So many New York married couples struggle with the difficult decision of staying in a bad marriage or divorcing.  Just know that you are not alone and so many clients that come to us are all conflicted with making this difficult decision.  Sometimes, it helps to explore your options so that if you do want out of your marriage, you have an idea of what to expect ahead of time instead of frantically trying to get your questions answered when things do come to an end.

 

Don’t Let Your Fear Get in the Way of Exploring Your Options

 

If you have questions about divorce or custody in New York City or need help getting out of a bad marriage, call Sabra Law Group to schedule a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

New York Divorce Mediator Shares How to Protect Your Children During Divorce

Divorce can have a negative impact on children and their well-being; however, there are ways you can protect your children during divorce. A New York divorce mediator shares some things you can do to protect your children during divorce.

 

Opt for a Low-Conflict Divorce

 

If you do not want divorce to negatively impact your children, it is important to keep the conflict level low in your divorce. One way to do this is to mediate your divorce instead of battling it out in court. Although some conflict is unavoidable during divorce, you can take steps to safeguard your children so that they are not stuck in the middle of a nasty divorce battle.

New York Divorce Mediator: How to Protect Your Children During Divorce

Be Cautious of Your Spouse Putting Your Children in the Middle of the Divorce

 

If your spouse is going to your teenage children to communicate with you; instead of communicating with you directly, they are putting your children in the middle of your divorce. It is imperative to nip that in the bud as soon as it happens. Have an honest and upfront discussion with your spouse that this is not healthy for the children. Also, convey that as adults we should handle the details of the divorce confidentially.

 

Are Your Children Too Young to Understand Why You Are Divorcing?

 

Also, it is best to not be an open book when it comes to disclosing reasons for your divorce to your children. If your husband cheated on you, it is not something you want to bring up to your children; especially if they are too young to comprehend what is happening.

 

Keep Financial Matters About Child Support Confidential from Your Children

 

And if your ex is giving you a hard time about paying for child support or providing other financial support for the children, do not bring the children into it! It is best to keep these things private and sharing things like this with your children can foster resentment towards the other parent. Talking bad about the other parent can take a psychological toll on children; so, it is best to avoid this at all costs.

 

Have a Solid Game Plan on How to Treat Your Children Collectively During the Divorce

 

“Collectively” means that both of you need to be on the same page in terms of what you're going to share with the children and what you're not going to share with the children. Think of it as making a pact that is not meant to be broken for the sake of your children’s emotional well-being.

 

Need a New York Divorce Mediator to Help You With Your Divorce?

 

Call Sabra Law Group today at 646-472-7971 to speak to a knowledgeable New York divorce mediator who can assist you with your divorce matters.

 

 

 

How You Can Have a Low-Conflict Divorce in New York City

Low Conflict Divorce in New YorkIt is possible to have a low-conflict divorce in New York City if you are prepared.   While being prepared can help you have a low-conflict divorce; it is important to remember that not everyone's soon-to-be ex is going to be cooperative. If you happen to have a spouse that is manipulative or narcissistic it may take a bit more work to have a low-stress divorce. A New York divorce mediation lawyer shares some tactics for having a low-conflict divorce in NYC below.

 

Get as Many Issues as Possible off the Table Before Seeking Outside Assistance

 

Before you retain the services of a divorce mediation lawyer or a New York divorce lawyer try to get a gauge for where things stand with your soon-to-be ex. Have an open and honest conversation with them to see which issues you may be able to resolve before getting outside assistance. It may be sensible to discuss things like do they want the divorce to be over as soon as possible. Or are they willing to fight it out in court because they're not willing to settle on some of the bigger things?  And even if you cannot resolve any issues, a professional will help you work through them and resolve them.

 

Focus on What's Really Important When it Comes to Divorce

 

Rather than focusing on material things, focus on the best interest of the children first and then proceed to other matters that must be resolved. Remember to not let other divorce matters take precedence over your children.

 

Refrain from Blaming Each Other and Pointing Fingers

 

Pointing out the negative aspects of your spouse is not going to help matters! Let's suppose that your spouse did cheat on you, but if you keep pointing that out to them over and over it's not going to help resolve the matters at hand. Keep your conversations focused on agreeing on key matters in the divorce. 

 

Divorce is complex and many issues have to be sorted through including child custody, child support, division of assets, and much more. By keeping your emotions out of the equation you're more likely to come to a quicker resolution that makes sense for both parties. Again, the right professional can help you stay focused on the issues at hand rather than letting your emotions interfere with reaching resolutions and making agreements.

 

Acknowledge That You Will Have to Compromise

 

By not compromising, the divorce process will only get delayed and your goal of having a low-conflict divorce will not be met. Remember that a high-conflict divorce is not only stressful but can take a toll on your mental health and the health of your children.  By not compromising, it can also end up costing you thousands of dollars more to divorce.

 

Seek the Right Support System for Your Needs

 

When you first announce to your network of friends and family that you're getting divorced; a lot of them may try to give you unwanted advice or interfere in your marriage problems. It's important to realize that not all of your friends are going to have your best interest at heart, and you have to determine who is truly there to be by your side and who is there to be judgmental. When it comes to finding the right support system, keep your circle small so that it keeps the private matters at hand more private. If you cherish your privacy, then you want to make sure that you only share private matters with friends and family who have proven to be discreet.

 

Most of All Don't Forget to Take Care of Yourself

 

Everyone knows that going through a divorce can be a taxing experience, therefore; it is important to take care of yourself. This means taking time for yourself to de-stress, unwind, take a walk, go to the gym, meditate, do yoga or do anything that you find relaxing.

 

Having to take care of the kids and possibly even having a full-time job while going through a divorce is not an easy task! However, if you remember to take some time for yourself every day, it can help set you up to be able to tackle whatever comes your way.

 

Consider Divorce Mediation in New York City if You Are Wanting a Low Conflict Divorce

 

Call Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971 at to schedule a confidential consultation. Whether you want to mediate your divorce or have more complex matters that require litigation, our New York divorce mediation firm is here to assist.