Divorce

How to Have a Healthy and Harmonious Divorce

harmonious divorceThe first step to having a healthy and harmonious divorce is to determine if you are ready for divorce.  Being ready for divorce involves being emotionally ready as well as preparedness.

When you are making the decision to divorce, it should be based on more than a one-off incident.  Getting divorced is a major life decision and it should be treated with caution and consideration. 

 

Below is a 5 Step Process You Can Follow to Have a Smooth Divorce

 

  1. Consult a knowledgeable New York Divorce Attorney to determine what your rights are as well as your obligations.  A family law attorney can guide you on how to best handle divorcing when children or assets are involved.
  2. Change your passwords:  it is essential to protect your privacy during this time and the best way to do this is to change your passwords to make sure your spouse doesn’t have access to your email, social media, individual bank or investment accounts, phone records, credit card bills, or voicemail.  It is also important to be cognizant of video cameras at home that are normally used for home security purposes but can also be used to eavesdrop on your conversations if you are not careful. If you don’t have the privacy you need at home and are unable to go to your office because of the pandemic; opt for sitting in your car to have that private conversation with your best friend or attorney.
  3. Start gathering important documents:  gathering the necessary documents will make the whole divorce process go smoother and faster.  You should start gathering your tax returns, bank account and retirement statements, credit card statements, and insurance policies.  Additionally, if you have any joint real estate ventures, you should gather that information as well.
  4. Be the better person:  handle matters in a dignified and graceful manner.  Divorce can instill anger and resentment, however; it is important to keep your composure and remember that how you act or react will also impact your children for years to come.  Stay calm and choose your words and actions carefully. 
  5. Team up to be there for your children:  if you have children, your children will have questions and concerns about the divorce.  It is important to be there for your children as a team; both parents should be present in-person when breaking the news of divorce to children.  Once you have collectively had a conversation with your children, then work on creating a parenting plan that has the best interest of your children. 

 

Even if you have only started on this list, contact an attorney who has your and your family’s best interests in mind and to ensure that when the details are worked out, that the proper paperwork can be prepared and filed properly.  An attorney at Sabra Law Group, PLLC will help you get started right away. We can be reached at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Cope with the Mental Anguish of Divorce

Mental anguish of divorceDivorce is never easy, even when you know that it's the right thing for you. You may be plagued by feelings of doubt and remorse. Perhaps you'll even experience moments where you wonder if getting divorced is a mistake.

The mental anguish of divorce may seem endless, but with coping strategies, you can begin to change your perspective. The first step is acknowledging that you're going to experience a huge range of emotions throughout the process. While these emotions can be intense, they also are normal. Similarly, your feelings are not permanent. They will change, and this is ok too. Venturing into unknown territory always involves discomfort.

Another way to cope with the mental anguish of divorce is to use good self-care practices. Spend some time reflecting on what makes you feel better in this difficult time. Do you like to soak in a hot bath? Sit back with a cup of tea? Play basketball with your kids? Take a long hike in the wilderness? Whether you want to spend time with supportive friends and family or take a few hours for yourself, it's important to regularly engage in activities that are all about taking care of yourself.

It also makes sense to avoid fighting with your soon-to-be-former spouse as much as possible. Productive discussions and negotiations are fine, but as soon as the interaction veers into the territory of an argument, it's time to disengage. Fighting is almost always counterproductive at this point.

In the interests of taking care of yourself and avoiding fights, another way to improve your mental outlook is by choosing to mediate your divorce rather than litigating. Mediation is less confrontational and far more collaborative. Rather than fighting over every small decision, mediation gives you and your family a chance to heal and make helpful, healthy choices.

Additionally, mediation tends to resolve issues and the divorce process far more quickly than litigation does. The upshot is that your family is able to move forward more efficiently. This may go a long way toward soothing your mental anguish so that you can develop a more hopeful outlook.

If you are looking for help coping with the mental anguish of divorce, then contact the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971. These legal professionals will guide you through the mediation process so that you can move on with your life.

 

 

 

 

                                                      

 

Life After Divorce Can Be Fulfilling if You Take the Right Steps

life after divorceOne of the reasons that most people put off divorce is because they are scared to be alone; they are also scared of what their life may look like post-divorce.  However, life after divorce doesn’t have to be lonely or boring.  

 

If one of your biggest fears of getting divorced is loneliness, consider adopting or fostering a pet.  There are so many pets in animal shelters that need a loving home, and in return have so much love to give.

 

5 Reasons Getting a Pet Can Make You Feel Better After Divorce

 

  1. A pet gives you a sense of purpose
  2. Pets help reduce stress and anxiety levels
  3. Taking care of a pet takes the focus off of you and your problems
  4. If your pet happens to be a puppy/or dog, it forces you to get out of the house for daily walks which promotes a healthy lifestyle
  5. You won’t feel as lonely because your new pet will cuddle with you and want to play with you

 

If you are still feeling a bit lost or sad even with a pet, there are other things that you can do to heal from divorce.

 

One of the most important things is to practice self-care.  Self-care means putting yourself first and remembering to take care of yourself.  Self-care can incorporate many different aspects: mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.   Self-care also means knowing who to let in your life and who to keep out (negative people).

 

There may be days when you don’t feel like doing anything or getting out of the house and those are the days when you need to think of what makes you happy; then go do those things.

 

Some Activities that You Can Do to Improve Your State of Mind Are:

 

  1. Yoga/Exercise/Walk
  2. Go to the spa or have a spa day at home
  3. Order food from your favorite restaurant or cook your favorite meal
  4. Watch a funny movie or funny videos
  5. Take a road trip (by yourself)

 

With the right planning and preparation, divorce can be a positive experience.  Think of divorce as a new opportunity to truly discover yourself and fall in love…with yourself.

 

If you are contemplating divorce and have questions about divorcing in New York, contact Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

How to Determine When to Get Divorced and When to Give it Another Shot

get divorcedA moment arrives in nearly every marriage when at least one of the partners wonders if it's time to get divorced. Perhaps this moment has been a long time coming.

Or, perhaps this moment arrives in a split second when one partner discovers a betrayal by the other partner.

Regardless of how it occurs, the decision is not clear for most couples. This generally is because they are torn between going their separate ways or giving their relationship another shot.

How do you know if the choice to get divorced is right for you?

There are no objectively right or wrong answers. Instead, you and your spouse will probably have to do some soul searching before you reach a decision.

For some couples, it makes sense to set a time limit to try reconnecting with each other. Usually, a period of about 90 days is enough, at which time you can reassess whether or not you both want to keep trying or go your separate ways.

During this time, it may be helpful to act like you're dating again. Set aside special evenings and weekends that are just for the two of you. Try a new restaurant, take a road trip or dance the night away. It's an opportunity to go back to the way the two of you interacted when you were first in love. For some couples, this rekindles a connection.

At the end of this 90-day period, it's time to reassess how you feel. Has progress been made toward reigniting your relationship? Or, do you find yourself longing for your freedom?

If you're not certain, then it's time for some serious soul searching. This may entail meditation, journaling, meeting with a therapist or talking the situation over with friends or family that you trust.

When you're trying to decide whether or not to go your separate ways, the feelings of both partners are critical. If one of you decides that they are definitely ready to move on alone, it's important to honor those feelings. The partner who might prefer to stay in the marriage is encouraged to seek counseling and the support of loved ones to help them move forward.

In situations where abuse or neglect is present, then it truly may be the best choice to get divorced without taking another shot. Contact the Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971 to schedule a consultation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Divorce Can Have a Huge Impact on Your Retirement Savings

retirement savingsIf you have a retirement account, there's a good chance that it's your largest asset. However, if you're considering a divorce, then you may be wondering if dissolving your marriage will damage your retirement savings.

This depends upon the type of retirement accounts you have. Because this subject is complex, it makes sense to explore how common types of retirement accounts are treated in a divorce.

Social Security

This retirement income source frequently is the largest resource for retirees. If your marriage has lasted more than 10 years, then you may be entitled to collect benefits from Social Security based on your ex-spouse's account. As long as you are unmarried, aged 62 or older and your ex is entitled to benefits, federal law allows you to collect. Of course, this only makes sense if your ex is receiving an amount in excess of what you would receive on your own.

401(k)s, IRAs and Pensions

Federal and state law also may play a role in regard to how getting divorced affects your retirement. For instance, a 401(k) or 403(b) is governed by federal law, and this may affect how these accounts are divided. With IRAs, state law governs how these funds will be distributed. Pension benefits are rare in this age, but they are administered according to the employer's vesting schedule, which can widely vary from one firm to another.

Retirement Accounts: Marital or Separate Property?

If you were contributing to a retirement savings plan before you got married, then most courts will consider the premarital amount as belonging solely to you. However, any retirement funds that were contributed while you were married may be subject to being divided with your ex-spouse. If it's vital to you that your entire savings for retirement remain intact, then it may be possible to negotiate with your ex with regard to other valuable assets, like the family home.

If you and your spouse are thinking about splitting up, then it's wise to know that a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, or QDRO, may be in your future. This is a package of instructions detailing how a specific retirement account will be divided. Once approved by the court, the QDRO goes to the plan administrator to complete the division of funds.

If you're concerned about how divorce might affect your retirement savings, then it's sensible to call Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Protect Your Business Financially During a Divorce

protect your business financially

Are you a business owner who is considering divorce amongst the pandemic?  If so, you are not alone, the COVID-19 pandemic has caused a lot of stress and upheaval.   Whether that stress has been financial, emotional, or caused by other extenuating factors, it has definitely contributed to the rising divorce statistics.

 

When there are children, real estate, and businesses involved in a divorce, it definitely makes the divorce process more complex. 

 

By being more knowledgeable, it can give you the upper hand. It is best to speak to legal and financial professionals who can provide guidance based on your state’s regulations.

 

The first aspect to consider is that your spouse’s attorney may request financial documents related to the business as well as an explanation of what type of business you own and how it is structured.

 

It is best for you to continue focusing on your business and perhaps appoint your accountant or a business appraiser as the designated person who will compile all the necessary documents and information.

 

Furthermore, the best way to approach this is to be upfront and honest and not hold anything back.  The more upfront you are from the beginning, the smoother the entire process will go.

 

It is also important to consider that depending on the complexity of your business; your spouse’s attorney may not understand the business; which can complicate matters if not handled strategically.  The best way to handle this is to set up a meeting with both side’s attorneys, both spouses, and a financial expert.   This meeting will help provide more clarity to your legal team so they can provide the best guidance.  

 

What Happens When Both Spouses Own the Business Together?

 

For the most part, it is unlikely that both parties would remain a part of the business after the divorce.  A more realistic scenario may be that one party may end up buying the other party out or giving up the business with their soon to be ex-spouse and start a separate new business (whether solo or with additional business partners). 

 

The business partner that usually ends up staying in the business or buying the other partner out is the one that was the most involved in the business (this can equate to more hours spent, more investment spent, more contributions made, etc.).  

 

If you need assistance with how to protect your business financially during a divorce, contact Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

How to Tackle the Biggest Divorce Challenge: Telling Your Children About Divorce

telling children about divorce

Telling your children about divorce is one of the most difficult situations to be put in; the hardest part is initially breaking the news of divorce to your children.

 

Follow the 5 tips below on telling your children about divorce

 

  1. Carefully determine what you will say to your children:  it is essential to prepare for the divorce conversation prior to having it with your children.  Get out your notebook or laptop and write your thoughts out so you can visually see them.  Once you have gotten all of your thoughts on paper or a notepad on your computer, determine what the most important key points are and make a separate list.  Make sure that you can create a script that also produces a nurturing environment for your children.  Anticipate what questions your children may have and write down all possible scenarios with possible answers.
  2. Convey that the divorce has nothing to do with them:  this is one of the most important things that you can communicate with your children.  Children (especially young children), often think that they did something to cause the divorce or break up the family; this is why it is so essential to ask your children how they are feeling and ensure that they do not have any feelings of self-blame.
  3. Be prepared for any type of reaction from your children:  sometimes children will show their reactions immediately, and sometimes, children may display a delayed reaction; it is important to recognize delayed reactions when they do happen.  If you notice your children acting out or becoming distant or appearing depressed, it is best to sit down with your children and have a talk.  Once you can get to the bottom of their emotions and feelings, you need to determine if this is something you can help them get through or if you need to get professional help.  Do not hesitate to take your children to a therapist or counselor if necessary.
  4. Don’t shock your children: if your children are old enough to understand that there may be an existing issue with your marriage, then you can be upfront with them, however; if your children are either too young to understand or have no idea that your marriage is on the rocks, it is best to give some idea prior to having “the divorce” discussion.  Children are more likely to handle it better if they have some idea that there is already a problem.
  5. Provide reassurance:  reassure your children that you love them and that they will always come first and that the marriage not working out has nothing to do with them.  Let them know that they will still get to see both parents and that if there will be a change in where they reside that you will do your best to communicate that to them in advance and take their preferences into consideration. 

 

Telling Your Children About Divorce is Never Easy

 

If you need assistance in any divorce matters that involve your children (such as coming up with a child custody arrangement that puts your children first), contact Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a Way to Have a Simpler Divorce in New York

simpler divorce in New YorkHow long does it take to get divorced? If you follow celebrity gossip, then you may have the impression that getting divorced requires months, if not years, of legal wrangling.

At the end of the process, both parties are physically, emotionally, and financially exhausted.

Unfortunately, it's not only celebrities who get stuck in a seemingly endless and painful divorce process. It also happens to ordinary families.

This is always sad because it is possible to get a simpler divorce in New York. In fact, an easier divorce process is available to anyone, and it can be achieved through mediation.

It isn't necessary to be rich or perfect to take advantage of mediation. All that's needed is the right mindset.

This means focusing on the things that really matter. For you, that may be the well-being of your children or your own personal health. Perhaps you're choosing to turn your thoughts to a brighter future in a new city or with a new career or by furthering your education.

Whatever your priorities are, it's worthwhile to focus on these healthy, hopeful things rather than looking back at the past and staying mired in the disagreements and arguments of yesterday.

This gives you all of the incentive that you need to enter mediation with the right mindset. When your focus is on your family's well-being and the future, you'll find that you're more willing to compromise, negotiate, and get creative when it comes to settling your divorce.

Accordingly, you'll be less likely to insist on litigation or asking a judge to decide important, private matters on your behalf. This is the key to having a simpler divorce in New York. You will not only forego numerous court dates, each of which may be scheduled months apart but also have a personal hand in critical decisions relating to child custody and support as well as the division of assets.

Moreover, mediation is the far less expensive way to approach divorce. With fewer court dates, fewer court filings, and less time spent with an attorney, more of your family's assets will remain intact so that you can use them to improve your future.

With all of these positive things to recommend it, why wouldn't you choose to mediate your divorce?

If you would like to learn more about how to get a simpler divorce in New York, contact the Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

The Financial Aspects and Considerations of Divorce

financial aspectsWhether they are amicable or not, divorces are always messy. This is because disentangling the couple's combined financial and property interests rarely is easy. Who gets the house? Do you get to keep your 401(k)? How much is all of this going to cost?

Most of these financial aspects are not easy to settle. You and your soon-to-be-ex may have very different ideas about what the answers should be, but you probably do not agree on what those answers are yet.

In fact, you're probably concerned that divorce will ruin your family's financial future. The good news is that no one's financial future will be irrevocably ruined because of a divorce. Still, that doesn't mean that the road ahead will be easy.

Perhaps the first question to answer is: Do I need a lawyer? While some people think that having a lawyer is mandatory, that's not actually the case. Many divorce settlements are negotiated via mediation, and the two parties don't necessarily need to have their own legal counsel, although that is an option.

In fact, the less that you and your former partner rely on a lawyer, the less your divorce is likely to cost. It's also likely to go much more quickly because you probably won't have many court dates.

Another hot-button issue is who gets the marital home. If kids are involved, then it may make sense to let one spouse stay in the family home with them while the other makes alternative arrangements. In other instances, it may make sense to sell the house and split the proceeds. A myriad of other options are possible, and it may be best to explore these through mediation.

You'll also have to think about what happens to the household furnishings and other items that are jointly owned. Is there a way that you can divide them up reasonably and amicably?

Finally, examine any loans, credit cards or other debts that you own as a couple, or were acquired during the marriage. Who will be responsible for paying for what? Once again, many options are possible. With mediation, you can pick what works for you.

Are you considering divorce but worried about how the financial aspects may affect you and your family? If so, then get the facts by calling the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971. With their assistance, you'll discover that divorce can be a smart and economical choice.

 

 

 

 

 

Why Keeping Your Divorce Out of Court Can Save You Time and Money 

Out of Court Too frequently, people assume that the only way to complete divorce proceedings is in court. They envision numerous court dates in which all the details of their divorce are argued over and decided.

This perception may prevail in divorces that are relatively amicable and in those that are filled with animosity. However, court proceedings don't have to be the order of the day when a couple is looking to go their separate ways.

Mediation is a much more cost-effective and efficient manner to end a marriage. Contrary to popular belief, it's not necessary to have a judge make critical decisions for your family. You and your former partner have the power to make these decisions, and that tends to lead to better solutions for the entire family.

Through mediation, it's possible to negotiate all facets of your divorce. This even includes the hot-button issues like child custody, child support and alimony. The division of property and assets also can be decided out of court without a judge ever having to make a decree.

When you and your former partner agree to mediate instead of litigate, you are potentially saving yourselves tens of thousands of dollars. This is not only because legal services in courtroom divorce proceedings are expensive but also because court filings and court dates cost money as well.

Moreover, when you litigate a divorce, many of the proceedings happen on the court's schedule. It's probably not surprising to hear that court dockets are pretty crowded, and that judges sometimes take vacations. All of this means that it could be months or even a year or two before the court can get around to hearing your divorce.

It's also worth noting that one court appearance may not be enough to settle the issues in your divorce. This means that you'll have to schedule a later court date. How many months down the road will that be?

When you resolve to keep your divorce out of court, you are making a decision that's healthy and financially responsible for the whole family. Mediation may enable your divorce to be settled within just a few weeks or months and at far less expense than court proceedings. The outcome is that you get to move forward with your new life sooner.

If you want to save time and money by keeping your divorce out of court, then contact the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971.