Divorce

Documentation Your Manhattan Divorce Attorney Will Need for Your Meeting

 

documentation your attorney will need

If you are in the process of filing for divorce it is important to start preparing ahead of time. One of the best ways to prepare to meet with your Manhattan divorce attorney is to make sure that you have all the documentation they will need. The more prepared you are for your meeting with your divorce attorney the smoother things will go and the faster the process will be.

 

Gather These Documents Prior to Your Meeting with Your New York Divorce Lawyer

 

Income Statements and Documents: income statements are essential to determining the financial situation and employment status that will take into consideration child support, alimony, and division of assets. Income documents can include tax returns, paycheck stubs, and additional related documents. Some things to gather include paycheck information over a 12-month period, bank statements, receipts, financial statements, and business income documents. Furthermore, any other documentation that can help establish one's net worth would be useful to gather.

 

Automobile Documents:  automobile documents include any titles or registration for all vehicles that are owned by either you, your spouse, or owned jointly. They can also include boats, ATV's, and farming vehicles and business equipment vehicles. Also show documentation that displays the current outstanding debt that would be needed to acquire these vehicles.

 

Life Insurance Documents: it is also useful to gather any life insurance policy information. This is because the court may view the policy's cash value that could be divided by the court in case of a divorce.

 

Marital Debts: all debt should also be documented. The court will need to determine what the marital debts are and how to divide them as part of the divorce settlement.

 

Real Estate Documents: real estate is going to be one of the major assets that will be taken into consideration. If the property was purchased during the marriage, it is considered marital property will need to be divided during the divorce.  Furthermore, real estate that may have been owned prior to the marriage can also come into the situation if the marital funds were used to pay for repairs and any mortgage payments. Gather all documentation of ownership as well as current mortgage income. Also compile all real estate purchase documents. Also, if your property was refinanced that information will also be pertinent.

 

Take the First Step and Schedule a Consultation with a Manhattan Divorce Attorney

 

If you are getting divorced, the first step is to meet with an experienced New York divorce attorney who can help you with your case.  Whether you decide to mediate your divorce or go to court, Sabra Law Group can assist you.  Call Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971. 

 

Once you have secured an appointment start gathering all the documents so that you have them ready for your meeting.   You can also ask us how to best be prepared and we will provide you with a list of items that will be helpful. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Deal with Anger and Emotions During Divorce in New York

 

Getting divorced is one of the most stressful life events.  It can trigger deep emotions and bring anger out.  The anger can arise from painful experiences with your soon-to-be-ex or even feeling threatened by your spouse.  Some couples opt for staying in an unhealthy relationship longer than they should.  This is because they would rather be in a bad relationship than no relationship.  As a result, it can delay the process of taking the steps to separate and divorce.  However, there comes a time when one or both spouses have had enough; but by that time, anger is at an all-time high. It is essential to know how to deal with anger and emotions during divorce in New York. 

 

How to Cope with Your Anger and Emotions During Divorce

 

Get it Out of Your System

 

It is important not to keep anger bottled up.  You must find a way to release your anger in a healthy and constructive way.  One way to do this is to work through your anger by journaling or writing a letter that you don’t send or mail.  Writing your feelings down on paper will allow you to release them and feel less weighed down. 

 

Another useful method to get it out of your system is to develop a support system that can help.  Having people in your life whom you can talk it out with will help you feel better; because again you are releasing your emotions instead of keeping them bottled up.

 

Seek Professional Help

 

Sometimes your friends and family may not be able to support you in the way that you need it.  In that situation, it is helpful to seek professional help such as a therapist who helps people with anger management.

 

Take Accountability for Your Part in the Breakup

 

If you also played a part (whether it was minor or major) in the breaking of your marriage, it is important to take accountability for your part.  This will help you to not place the entire blame on your spouse and it may help you to manage your emotions. 

 

Forgiveness is Hard Sometimes But Essential to Moving On

 

Part of the divorce process is to heal after divorce and determine if you are ready to move on and start a new relationship.  If you truly want to move on, it is critical to forgive, otherwise you may stay in the same angry space.

 

Staying Calm is Key

 

When things get heated, it can be difficult to stay calm, but staying calm will help you de-escalate the anger.  Try to take a walk, do some deep breathing, or try yoga or meditation. 

 

Need Assistance with Divorce in New York?

 

Call Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971 and determine if divorce mediation can help you get divorced sooner than dishing it out in court, so you can move on to starting fresh. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Get Full Custody of Your Children in New York

One of the most contentious matters in divorce cases is child custody. The parents want what's best for their children, and that's also the goal of the courts. In fact, judges are guided by the principle of the "best interests of the children”.

In general, it's considered desirable for the children to maintain relationships with both parents. Nonetheless, there may be situations in which it's wise for one parent to be awarded full custody.

If you believe that having full custody of your children in New York is in your family's best interest, then there are things you can do to strengthen your case.

Collect Documentation

Do you believe that your spouse is abusive? If so, then it's sensible to gather as much evidence as possible. This may include medical records, affidavits from healthcare professionals, photographs, and your written observations.

Even if abuse isn't occurring, it's smart to keep a journal of everything that happens with regard to your kids. Record events like pick-ups and drop-offs, phone calls, whether or not child support payments are being received, and your child's routine activities. Courts love to have everything documented, so the more notes you take, the better.

Keep Yourself Clean

Any questionable behavior on your part can make it harder for you to obtain full custody of children in New York. Keep your driving record spotless. A DWI or reckless driving citation will come out in court. If any court orders are in place, make certain that you follow them to the letter, even if you don't agree with them. Make sure that you aren't indulging in recreational drug use or drinking to excess. If you're on social media, suspend your participation, but keep an eye on what your spouse is posting.

Spend Time with and Know Your Children

Make certain that you're familiar with your child's teachers and doctors, and spend quality time with your kid. Keep childcare by others to a minimum as your children need to have your hands-on involvement. While it's important to communicate with your child, refrain from discussing the custody case or trying to obtain information about the other parent from them.

Perhaps the best thing you can do toward obtaining full custody of your children in New York is to hire the Sabra Law Group to represent you. Call (646) 472-7971 today to learn how we can help you with custody in New York.

 

 

 

 

 

                        

4 Dating Tips Following a Divorce

dating after divorce in Manhattan

Yes, you can bounce back into the dating world following a divorce, even a painful, heartbreaking divorce. In fact, you may even be a better partner as a result of it, from lessons learned. Here’s some tips to consider along the way. 

1. Ask yourself what lessons you learned. Analyze what went wrong in the marriage so you don’t repeat those mistakes. Likewise, look into the successes in the marriage and how you can replicate those. 

For instance, look at the love languages that exist: such as quality time, words of affirmation, acts of kindness, gift giving, and of course physical touch. Recall which of those was lacking and how you can do better next time, and what you prioritize in your partner. 

2. Decide when to date and what you’re looking for. How soon after your divorce should you date is another question. Some couples will even date before a divorce is finalized, but while they are living separately during the divorce process.  

You may justifiably need alone time to grieve and self-reflect and rejuvenate. Perhaps you take time to travel with a get-away vacation or stay-cation, or you take up meditation or a new hobby like yoga or pilates to help center yourself.   

You may also not want a serious relationship so soon, but rather a more casual fling type of relationship. But keep yourself open-minded to what’s out there. Ultimately, the goal is to find another partner or just yourself that makes you happy inside and adds to your life. 

3. Take advantage of all the amazing apps available nowadays. For instance, there’s popular ones such as Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, Match—there’s even a Facebook Dating app. There’s even segmented dating apps, for example faith-based ones such as J-Date for people seeking a Jewish partner and Christian Mingle for a Christian partner. 

They are pretty advanced too, and may allow you to filter by geography, age, sex, sexual orientation, race, religion, hobbies and interests, whether you’re interested in someone with or without kids; whether you want a serious or fun/playful relationship, your body type, and more.  

4. Consider getting a dating expert or seeing a relationship therapist for professional support. They have extensive experience counseling many people who can relate to your situation. Look at their reviews and seek referrals as well. You may require a quick tune-up session or multiple or on-going sessions. Do what works for you best, and if need be, test out multiple professionals before you find the best one. 

They can help with your self-esteem and confidence, and communication skills for instance. They can also help you see things from a different perspective. They can serve as a great outlet to share your thoughts and feelings.      

If you have a family law issue, contact the Sabra Law Group in Manhattan at (646) 472-7971. The firm’s expertise is in all forms of family law, such as alimony, divorce, prenuptial agreements, post-nuptial agreements, child custody battles, child support, domestic violence, and restraining orders. 

 

How to Use a Vision Board to Celebrate a Divorce Party

getting divorced

Are you considering hosting a divorce or separation party? It’s becoming more commonplace nowadays. When the divorce judgment is finally official, the divorce party gives you a way to celebrate the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. It gives you an opportunity to let loose, blow off steam, and not just mellow in sorrow. It can be healing and provide closure from a very tough life transition. After all, you’re finally free with more freedom and independence so why not honor the occasion with friends and family.  

In many cases, divorces can unfortunately be contentious and divorce parties are done without the other spouse attending. But if both spouses were civil in the divorce and still friendly or cordial, they may even want to co-host the divorce party. However, you may want to shield your children from the party, given the sensitive nature. 

Still, not everyone will want to host a divorce party. Some may even be offended by the notion, comparing a divorce to a death in the family. But mind them no attention, everyone should do what’s best for them. 

Focus on the future, not the past, with a positive tone. To help, consider creating a vision board of your future-self as a team activity. Gather posters, colorful markers, magazines and glue sticks.  Each attendee will receive one poster to create their own vision board.  Thinking about the things that you want to manifest, begin creating your vision board by drawing images or words and phrases, or cutting them out of magazines and placing them on the poster, thereby creating a collage as a source of inspiration. 

Some ideas include, finding a picture of an outfit, accessory, watch or other jewelry item of things that you want that represent your new image… 

Or you might post a picture of your dream home, or a fancy car, or spell out the words to your ideal job from your bucket list. Likewise, you might post an image of a person doing yoga poses and meditation to symbolize your goal for better mental and physical health. You could post a map and circle various countries you’ve always wanted to visit. And you could illustrate your goal of taking up a new hobby of cooking and playing tennis with pics too. Additionally, you could share an image of your friends, to mark your ambition to dedicate more quality time to spending with them and strengthening your relationships. 

When completed, hang the vision board up in your home in an area you regularly visit. And you may want to take a photo of your vision board and make it your “home” page on your cell phone so that you see it regularly.  Feel free to add to your vision board as well, as you see fit and your life goes through changes. This will help center you and remind you of your long-term goals and ambitions ahead.  What you focus on regularly is more likely to come to fruition.  

If you have a family law issue, contact the Sabra Law Group in Manhattan at (646) 472-7971. The firm’s expertise is in all forms of family law, such as alimony, divorce, prenuptial agreements, post-nuptial agreements, child custody battles, child support, domestic violence, and restraining orders. 

 

When would you need a forensic accountant in a divorce?

Generally speaking, a forensic accountant offers much more intense accounting and auditing than a traditional accountant, and is similar to a financial investigator.  

It’s often used in a divorce when the finances are complicated or one party feels another is trying to hide or undervalue assets or simply in a high-net-worth divorce. After all, there may be assets and liabilities that have been transferred and unknown within the marriage. So forensic accountants must dig deep into all of the financial concerns. 

For instance: they may investigate bank accounts, retirement accounts, pensions, 401ks, claims by insurance, records of home purchases, including any loan applications, tax filings, personal and business loans, credit reports, businesses records and related financial documents even if created in different states or countries that the spouse wasn’t aware of. 

Assets (and even debt) may be hidden altogether or simply undervalued. They may uncover money laundering, fraud, and more. Those assets are critical in helping to determine the proper equitable division of assets, child support, alimony, etc. 

Unfortunately, people can and do reveal false statements knowingly or unknowingly at times. However, a deliberate lie is considered perjury, which is illegal and can result in harsh consequences such as fines and worse. 

If foul play is suspected, your divorce attorney or judge may recommend you get a forensic accountant in such circumstances to ensure both parties are fairly compensated. This often will take place within the discovery process of a divorce, where parties are required to list their assets and liabilities. The forensic accountant may even be required to testify in court on behalf of one party, or as an independent neutral.  

Of course, there’s a cost associated with hiring such a highly trained professional. And this can range in the tens of thousands of dollars in all and hundreds of dollars per hour alone. Both parties or just one spouse may have to cover the cost of the forensic accountant. But their value may significantly outweigh the cost, based on the results of what’s found. 

To determine equitable distribution in a divorce, full financial transparency is required–which may require, in some circumstances, the use of a forensic accountant to analyze and verify the accuracy of the information. 

If you are going through a divorce and there are extensive assets at stake, contact the Sabra Law Group in Manhattan at (646) 472-7971 to determine whether a forensic accountant is appropriate in your situation. The firm’s expertise is in all forms of family law, such as alimony, divorce, prenuptial agreements, post-nuptial agreements, child custody battles, child support, domestic violence, and restraining orders. 

 

Divorce Mediation Versus Litigation

Divorce Mediation in New York

No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced or separated. But the fact of the matter is that for roughly half of Americans, it’s statistically likely. And the likelihood of a divorce goes up even more for second and third marriages. 

But how you get divorced is another question altogether–in terms of whether it will be civil or contentious and whether you choose divorce mediation versus litigation

What is divorce mediation? 

In divorce mediation, an outside neutral third party not affiliated with either party aims to help the couple come to a mutually beneficial agreement. This ultimately ideally entails a compromise by both parties, which can often involve a give and take, with sacrificing something of value.  

The mediator is an certified expert trained in the voluntary process of mediation. Mediators can serve as a communication buffer between the two parties, allowing them to speak separately and freely. They can help them effectively communicate and resolve issues in a manner they may not otherwise have been able to do. 

All different types of divorce matters, such as child custody/visitation and division of marital assets, can be resolved in mediation. 

Depending on the mediator, you may be able to bring an attorney with you during the mediation process as counsel–or you may simply have just the couple and the mediator. 

What are some benefits of divorce mediation? 

You can potentially save a lot of time and money (and additional effort and emotional stress and heartbreak) with divorce mediation versus litigation and actual trial. This can benefit not just the couple but their children and family too, from having to suffer from a long, drawn out process. You may also be able to collectively agree upon a scheduled mediation date, versus a court date that may be decided for you. 

Mediation can also be seen as beneficial to your privacy, as issues are not aired openly in a court setting. But rather your confidential and personal matters are contained between the select few attending the mediation. In particular, children affected by the divorce may not need to attend the mediation process when they might otherwise appear or testify in court. 

Additionally, in litigation where a judge makes the ultimate decision, you may encounter less uncertainty as to the outcome. Still, there is no guarantee that mediation will resolve the conflict. And if mediation fails, you would have wasted valuable time, effort, and financial resources in the process. But mediation can and does prove effective in many cases.  

What are some things to prepare for in divorce mediation?  

Figure out your divorce goals and priorities ahead of time in the mediation. And while you’re at it, you may want to try to brainstorm what your partner will value and want as well. There are certain things you may be willing to sacrifice and others you won’t, like in any negotiation.   

For example, you might want to demand full or split custody of your children and pet; a certain amount of alimony and child support, a visitation schedule, and more. 

Have evidence to present, such as a record of financial disclosures between parties. For instance, tax statements, bank accounts, retirement accounts, car payments, mortgage paperwork, car payments, student loans, etc.   

How long can divorce mediation take? 

In a traditional divorce, the process can take many months if not a year or multiple years even. Whereas, in mediation, it may take just several months or much less for several sessions or just one session for a divorce mediation to be completed. Each session can take several hours long. Of course, a more complex divorce proceeding with greater assets and parties at stake can take longer. Bottom-line, mediation is known to take significantly less time than traditional litigation. 

If you have a family law issue, contact the Sabra Law Group in Manhattan at (646) 472-7971. The firm’s expertise is in all forms of family law, such as alimony, divorce, prenuptial agreements, post-nuptial agreements, child custody battles, child support, domestic violence, and restraining orders. 

 

A Manhattan Divorce Mediator Shares the Stages of Divorce People Go Through

 

Divorce is never easy and the loss of losing a loved one that you planned on spending your entire life with can be devastating. It can be extremely difficult to come to terms with divorce but sometimes there is no other choice. A Manhattan divorce mediator shares the stages of divorce people can go through when divorcing.

 

It May Be Normal to Experience Denial

 

Maybe it’s your spouse that wants a divorce and you want to keep your marriage intact, it can be difficult to accept the fact that your spouse wants a divorce.  It is important to realize that whatever you do, their mind may be made up. 

 

Denial may be a coping mechanism, but it is important to get past this stage.  Seek support from friends, family, and professionals such as a therapist or family law attorney who can guide you during this difficult time.

 

You May Experience Anger

 

Maybe your spouse betrayed you or cheated on you; it is normal to be angry.  You may be angry with your spouse for doing this to you, but you may also be angry at yourself for not seeing the signs sooner.  It is imperative to remember that this is just a stage of divorce you are going through, and it will not last forever. 

 

You May Try to Negotiate

 

In this stage you may try to question yourself and figure out if you could have negotiated for a better outcome. You may even feel guilty for not making the marriage work or feel like you are a failure. If you have children, that complicates matters even further and some parents decide to stay in a bad marriage just for the sake of the children.

 

Children are sensitive to their surroundings so even though it may seem hard to get divorced it may be the best for your children.  Remember, that your children deserve a healthy and peaceful environment to live in. 

 

You May Feel Sad or Hopeless

 

It is natural to feel sad or even feel some type of depression from the realization that your marriage may be coming to an end. There may be days where you find it difficult to get out of bed or you don't feel like talking to friends, however, taking a walk and getting some fresh air and exercise can do wonders for your mental health.

 

You May Finally Come to Terms with Your Divorce

 

When you accept the fact that divorce is inevitable you might start to have hope for the future and start making plans to focus on yourself. You may even consider taking a vacation or planning a new career or even thinking about dating again.

 

The key is to make sure that you're always making time for yourself and your self-care. Eat a healthy diet, exercise, do yoga, meditate, and get professional help if needed. Take on a new hobby, take a road trip, get a pet, whatever it is that makes your heart happy.

 

Need Help with Your Divorce in Manhattan?

 

Call Sabra Law Group today to schedule a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971. Take the first step towards coming to terms with your divorce. Sabra is a Manhattan divorce mediator with years of experience mediating divorces in New York City.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sabra Law Group Interview with Therapist Amy Weber

In this latest “Ask the Experts” blog series with Sabra Law Group, the law firm interviews New York based experts in child and marriage therapy. This particular interview is with Amy Weber, a therapist out of Park Slope in Brooklyn. She has over 25 years of experience working with children, adolescents, and families.  

What are some marriage and parenting trends you see for 2022? 

“I am seeing an increase in separating/divorcing couples this year.  While my evidence is anecdotal, it feels as if many couples delayed separation/divorce from 2020 – now.  I am also receiving a lot more calls about parents needing help getting onto the same page in terms of decisions surrounding their children (whether they're living together or in two households).  The past two years have been so stressful for parents and children, and this has obviously strained relationships.  All adults have different levels of comfort around risk (masks, vaccines, engaging in activities with friends/extended family, whether or not to stay in NYC, etc), and making decisions around safety have been difficult.  I think the next year or so is going to be all about strengthening relationships and learning new strategies for working together to make decisions for children.”

How should parents explain split custody and thus split time to their children after a divorce? 

“This is SUCH an important conversation!  Start with what is not changing – first and foremost, parents' love and commitment to their children.  When children receive this message clearly from both parents, they will feel loved and secure.  Let them know what else is not changing – schedules, schools, routines, friends, rules, etc.  Once the stage has been set for what will remain constant, you can let them know what will be different.  Children are most interested in the concrete information – where will they be living, when will they see each parent, where their toys will be.  It is important to give children information, but not overwhelm them with too many details (especially in an initial conversation).  Using visual schedules (like a calendar) may help children understand the new plan.”

“When you give children information that makes them feel uncomfortable (angry, sad, etc), they will generally try to wiggle out of the conversation as quickly as possible.  This is normal!  Do not try to force a conversation if your child is resisting.  Leave the door open for questions and processing.  Often, kids need time to think about what they've heard, and they'll revisit the discussion a few hours or days later.”

What parenting advice would you give to a newly single parent, recently divorced with the other parent no longer wanting a role in the child’s life? 

“Being a single parent is incredibly stressful, and I think it is really important to acknowledge that.  Taking care of your own physical and emotional health is critical.  If you are in good health, you will be a more attentive, available parent.  Build a support network, and find ways to take time for yourself – walks with a friend, listening to music, reading.  Showing affection (hugs, praise, spending time together) to your child is important as this decreases stress for both of you.  If your child is expressing anger/sadness/disappointment/frustration about their other parent, empathize with their pain, without bad-mouthing them.  This can feel really hard, but your child is not the person you can vent to.  Save your own fury for a friend or family member or your therapist or your journal.  Your child needs to have space to have their own feelings.”

What are some parenting tips for those unfortunately experiencing domestic violence?

“Everyone deserves a home that is safe and free from violence or the threat of violence.  The violence is never your fault.  But it is your responsibility to ensure your child's safety.  Witnessing domestic violence has tremendous short- and long-term impact on children's physical and emotional development.  Seek the assistance of a qualified domestic violence hotline to create a safety plan.

If you have a family law issue, contact the Sabra Law Group in Manhattan at (646) 472-7971. The firm’s expertise is in all forms of family law, such as alimony, divorce, prenuptial agreements, post-nuptial agreements, child custody battles, child support, domestic violence, and restraining orders. 

 

Sabra Law Group Interview with Psychologist Dr. Francyne Zeltser

In this latest “Ask the Experts” blog series with Sabra Law Group, the law firm interviews New York based experts in child and marriage therapy. This particular interview is with Dr. Francyne Zeltser. Clinical Director of Psychology at Manhattan Psychology Group, PC in New York City. She is a New York State Licensed Psychologist. She manages a team of Licensed Psychologists, Neuropsychologists and Psychotherapists who provide counseling to children, adolescents and adults. 

What are some tips for parents to help children acting out in a divorce? What are some reasons why children act out in a divorce? 

“Acting out is children's way of communicating their thoughts and feelings when they don't have the emotional vocabulary or insight to do so verbally. Some children are upset by the divorce, while others are confused, anxious or agitated. Heightened emotions often lead to dysregulation in children. If your children act out in response to divorce, try to be understanding and provide validation and support for how they are feeling. Children are less likely to demonstrate negative behavior when they feel supported and understood.”

When should a parent consider childhood therapy for your little one? 

“Therapy should be considered if the child is having a prolonged adverse reaction to the news of the divorce. It is normal for children to be upset or even to act out initially after learning of their parents' divorce. If the child continues to be distressed once the news settles and this distress starts to interfere with their daily functioning, it is helpful to seek professional support such as therapy for the children.”

Should parents break the news of their divorce together or separately to their children?

“Children, regardless of their ages, are more aware of their surroundings than adults tend to realize. Often children know or at least have an idea of what is happening with their parents before they are officially informed. The decision to break the news together or separately is dependent on the parents' ability to communicate calmly and effectively to their children in each other's presence. If breaking the news together is going to be stressful or hostile, parents are better off speaking to and supporting their children independently. Regardless of how the news is shared, it is important to revisit the topic so that children have the opportunity to ask questions and reflect on this big change.”

If you have a family law issue, contact the Sabra Law Group in Manhattan at (646) 472-7971. The firm’s expertise is in all forms of family law, such as alimony, divorce, prenuptial agreements, post-nuptial agreements, child custody battles, child support, domestic violence, and restraining orders.