Divorce

5 Parenting Tips for Divorced Parents You Need to Know

Parenting Tips for Divorced ParentsThe dissolution of a marriage is a difficult transition. For couples with children, the complications seem to never end as they meet the challenges of co-parenting. However, these challenges may be diminished with these parenting tips for divorced parents.

1. Build a New Relationship with Your Ex

It may be helpful to view your relationship with your ex-partner as a new, separate one. The co-parenting relationship isn't about you and your partner; it's about your children. This may make it easier to let go of old resentments.

2. Put the Kids' Interests First

Parents that continue to fight after a divorce create a stressful environment. Making an effort to put rancor behind helps children to move forward. Always remember that the well-being of your kids is more important than any disagreements you have with your ex-partner. 

3. Be Consistent with Consequences

Too many parents who are splitting up let consequences for poor behavior slide. However, forgoing consequences condones misbehavior and encourages worse behavior. Stick to reasonable consequences, and talk with your children about healthier ways to express their feelings.

4. Stay Hopeful

Your family is going through changes. While some of these may be painful, others may be positive. No matter how bleak things may seem, there's room for hope. Your optimism is a wonderful thing to model for your children. It demonstrates your resilience in challenging situations, and that's a quality that will serve them well in their lives too. 

5. Tame Your Emotions

Whenever you are angry or annoyed with your ex-partner, your first instinct may be to fly off the handle and go on the attack. However, this is rarely an effective coping mechanism. Keep a running list of grievances instead, and periodically review them. Most may seem trifling after just a few days. The ones that are of greater concern can be discussed reasonably and without damaging the co-parenting relationship.

If you want to learn more parenting tips for divorced parents, contact Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971. These legal professionals also can help you find an amicable resolution to your divorce proceedings. Contact a legal professional today at 646-472-7971 or set up a free phone consult using our scheduling link here
 

Who Initiates Divorce More: Men or Women?

initiates divorce The correct answer is that women initiate divorce more than men.  In fact, according to a study conducted by the American Sociological Association, they found that women initiate 69% of divorces. 

 

Another interesting fact is that about 90% of divorces are initiated by college-educated women.   Times have changed and more and more women will not tolerate staying in a marriage that they are unhappy in.  A lot of women also have their own careers, which makes it easier to leave a marriage than if they were solely dependent on their husband financially. 

 

One of the most common reasons women file for divorce is infidelity.  In some cases, it may be the woman who cheated on her husband.  Many times, there may be an underlying reason for the infidelity.  Was there a breakdown in the marriage?  Whether it was a communication breakdown or an issue of disrespect, or one of many other issues, it is helpful to know what caused your spouse to cheat on you.  

 

Other reasons women file for divorce is feeling lonely in their marriage, an abusive husband, a husband that is a work-a-holic, or simply growing apart and not seeing eye to eye on anything. 

 

Financial stress can also lead to divorce.   If only one spouse is financially contributing to the household, they may feel overburdened with the finances to support the family. In addition, when a spouse does not recognize the efforts of the other spouse who is contributing to the marriage in non-financial ways this can lead to resentment and develop into anger. Lack of communication regarding spending and budgeting can cause a financial burden and stress the marriage.

 

Sometimes, men do not realize there is a problem in their marriage until their wife points it out.  Men and women have different ways of comprehending information.  This is why clearly communicating what is acceptable to you or not in a marriage is important to disclose from the very beginning. 

 

By openly communicating with your spouse, it may prevent you from making the same mistakes in the future.  In fact, you may even learn something that could salvage your marriage.

 

Why Do Men Avoid Initiating Divorce as Much as Women?

 

Men are scared that a divorce may lead to financial destruction and that they may be left with an almost empty bank account.  Some men choose to stay in a marriage because they feel it would cost them way too much to get out of the marriage.  Furthermore, men are just as scared of losing custody of their children as women are. 

 

Are You Thinking of Filing for Divorce?

 

Consult an experienced New York Divorce Attorney for guidance on the divorce process in New York.  Contact Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971 to schedule a confidential consultation.

 

 

Source: American Sociological Association

 

The 5 Warning Signs That May Lead to Divorce If Not Resolved

5 Warning Signs That May Lead to Divorce

Don’t end up caught off guard if your spouse tells you that he/she wants a divorce; know what warning signs to look for so you are not taken by surprise.

  1. Cheating/Infidelity:  This is one of the top predictors of divorce.  When one partner is cheating, there usually is a bigger problem.  The bigger problem can equate to “unmet needs” or other issues in the marriage that remain unresolved. It is essential to get to the bottom of the reason behind the infidelity to determine if your marriage issues are resolvable or not.
  2. Lack of Communication: If you and your spouse barely talk or cannot have deep conversations about important issues; then you need to figure out what can be done to change the breakdown in communication.  If you are committed to your marriage, then seek professional help if you are not able to come to a resolution with your spouse.   Effective and open communication is the backbone of any successful relationship. 
  3. Money Matters: A lot of marriages break up due to money problems.  Whether it’s that one spouse spends too much, or the other spouse does not manage money well; it can definitely lead to conflict.  Furthermore, if couples do not see eye-to-eye on money and have different views on money; it can cause friction in a marriage.
  4. Always Fighting:  Arguing and fighting is another major cause of divorce.  It causes unnecessary stress and if it keeps happening all too frequently, one partner is bound to get frustrated and want out of the marriage.  Seeking professional help to see if this is an issue that can be resolved may thwart off divorce. If there is no resolve; then it may be better to part ways for the sake of everyone’s well-being. 
  5. Lack of Health:  This can have many different meanings.  Lack of health can pertain to letting yourself go and stop taking care of yourself and your health; resulting in weight gain.  Weight gain can lead to depression or intimacy issues. In rare cases, it can also mean that one partner is ill, and the other partner chooses to exit the marriage instead of staying and taking care of their spouse.

 

Considering Divorce? Be Well-Informed So That You Can Make the Right Decision

 

Contact Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971 and get answers to all of your divorce-related questions.

How to Have Win-Win Mediation for Your Divorce

win-win mediation Divorce is never easy. It's an emotionally draining process that is painful for everyone involved. This is especially true in cases where couples decide to litigate the outcome. 

Too often, separating spouses believe that the courtroom is the only place to resolve complicated divorce issues like child support, visitation and the division of the marital assets. The reality is that mediation frequently is the far better alternative. 

Mediation is much less expensive than going to court will ever be. Plus, it's an extraordinarily private process that doesn't involve much in the way of public court filings. Mediation also is a more amicable and mature way to resolve conflicts. 

When the issues between a divorcing couple can be resolved via mediation, it is a win-win for the whole family. Of course, both of the former partners must be willing to come to the table and to keep their minds open. This isn't always easy, but a win-win mediation is possible when both enter the process with good intentions. 

Much of mediation is about negotiation and compromise. Accordingly, it is vital that both parties not be overly focused on getting their way. A better approach and one that is more likely to result in a win-win mediation is to consider what is in the best interests of the family. 

When children are involved, they frequently are the deciding factor in this determination. Throughout the process, the main concern of the parents is rightfully placed on the health and well-being of the children. When parents remember that less strife and more compassion are likely to favorably affect their children and provide them with a strong model for how to lead a healthy and well-adjusted life, then they are more likely to enter mediation with the best of intentions. 

Still, this doesn't mean that divorce mediation is always easy. Emotions sometimes run high, and occasionally the participants lose sight of the greater good. At these moments, it's wise to take a step back and a deep breath. Refocus your energy on creating a positive outcome that is good for everyone, rather than just for yourself. 

Call the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to learn more about how a win-win mediation is possible in even the most complex of divorce cases. With a skilled attorney and a compassionate mediator, it is possible for the family to heal and move forward in a positive manner.

 

How to De-Stress During the Holidays When Facing Divorce

De-Stress During the HolidaysEven if you are facing divorce during the holidays, there are many ways to make your holidays less stressful.  We all know that the holidays are such a hectic time; family coming into town, children out of school, holiday shopping, parties, and many other holiday-related festivities.  Master how to de-stress during the holidays when facing divorce and have a wonderful holiday season. 

 

Learn How to Successfully Navigate the Holiday Season While Staying Cool, Calm and Collected by Following the 5 Tips Below:

 

  1. Be mindful on what you already have on your plate or your “to do” list:  Try not to take on more than you can handle.  This is essential not just during the holidays but in any life scenario.  It is important to know your limits and only say “yes” to what you can comfortably handle.  Realize that it is okay to say “no” sometimes.  The more you practice saying “no” the more comfortable you will become with saying “no”. 
  2. Try a form of self-care:  Creating space for yourself while reading a book, or going for a walk, trying aromatherapy by visiting your favorite spa for a massage and/or aromatherapy treatment or create your own spa at home.  Creating your own spa at home is as simple as going to Bath and Body Works and investing in one of their aromatherapy collection oils, creams, lotions, or bubble bath.   Get some scented candles and a glass of your favorite wine or beverage and turn on your favorite music.  Spend at least one hour treating yourself to some self-care once a week and you will feel rejuvenated.
  3. Make time for fun:  Plan a fun outing with your favorite friends; a wine dinner, comedy show, bowling, ice skating or even dancing.  Spending time with friends that make you laugh and smile will have a therapeutic effect on your well-being. 
  4. Don’t take things personally:  Letting little things get to you will bring your energy down. Traffic may be bad, your spouse may be cranky, your children may be testing your patience; however, how you react to it will determine your stress level.  Train yourself to become more easygoing and not let every little thing get to you.  In other words, choose your battles carefully…as not everything is worth getting upset about. 
  5. Set a plan in advance for when and how to talk about divorce:  Talk with your spouse now, if you can, or reach an agreement to perhaps put off the details of divorce until after the holidays. It can be tough to find time to make big decisions in your divorce when children are involved.  Remember, if you have children and they will be home from school focus on what you can do to make the transition easier for them during the holidays.   Focusing on your children during the holidays and having a plan lined up for when and how you will get through the difficult divorce conversations post-holiday season will help ease your stress. 

 

If you are dealing with divorce during the holidays, contact Sabra Law Group for a consultation at (646) 472-7971.  Sabra can help you put together an action plan so you can stress less and focus on your children. 

How to Recover from Divorce and Get Healthy Again

Recover From Divorce and Get HealthyDivorce can take a serious toll on your emotional, physical and spiritual health.  In some cases, divorce is mutual and it doesn’t come as a complete shock.  In other cases, divorce can come as a complete shock and leave you devastated.    

 

It is much easier to absorb the news of divorce when you know that your marriage has been in trouble for years, however, when divorce comes out of nowhere; it is very difficult to take in and recover.

 

Here are some tips below to help you get back to normal and feel healthy again, both emotionally and physically.

 

  1. Maintain Healthy Eating Habits:  Make sure you are eating breakfast every morning.  Breakfast is the most important meal of the day that fuels your energy.  Do not skip meals because you are trying to lose weight or too busy to eat.  Be cognizant about the type of food you consume and do not resort to fast food just because you don’t have time to cook.  There are many pick up and go healthy options at local grocery stores and prepared meal stores.

 

  1. Drink Plenty of Water and Fluids:  Water is essential for physiologic health.  It also helps aid digestion.  You can also try coconut water that has electrolytes and potassium.  It you do not like drinking plain water, consider making a pitcher of fruit infused water. You can experiment with lemons, oranges, cucumbers, strawberries or other flavorful fruits.

 

  1. Get Enough Sleep:  You probably have a good idea of what your body requires in terms of sleep.  Some people can get by on 4-6 hours of sleep, whereas; others need 6-8 hours at a minimum.  One pattern you want to avoid is oversleeping as that can leave you feeling sluggish and tired.

 

  1. Try Meditation or Yoga: Because dealing with divorce is highly stressful, incorporating physical activities that can help you de-stress and maintain inner peace will be helpful and comforting.  For instance, try meditating once or twice a day for a few minutes.  You can try the Headspace app or Calm app to help guide you through relaxation and meditation. 

 

  1. Exercise:  Exercising means different things for different people.  Depending on what type of exercise you prefer, there are many options available.  You can try walking, jogging, bicycling, going to the gym, taking a dance class, or even kick-boxing.

 

If you are in the beginning stages of divorce, contact Sabra Divorce Mediation for assistance with your divorce process at (646) 472-7971

How to Deal with Back to School and Divorce

Back to School For parents going through a divorce, it can be stressful for them as well as for their children who still live at home.  It is important to take notice of any behavioral changes in your children.  Transitional times can also be challenging for children.  For instance, when it is time for children to head back to school after summer recess or school vacation days, it can be a stressful time for both parents and children; especially when parents are in the middle of a divorce.    

 

Breaking the news of the divorce to children can be difficult.  It is even more difficult when it coincides with transitional times such as when children go back to school after summer recess as some children may already be experiencing anxiety about going back to school and then layering information about their parents’ breakup can be even more overwhelming.

 

Here are some tips to make this transitional time an easier process for your children:

 

  1. Consider your children’s feelings and concerns. For instance, part of dealing with a divorce can potentially mean that your children may have to transfer schools depending on the custody arrangement.  It is important to reassure your children that you will still allow them to play with their current friends.  Furthermore, that they will also still be able to see the other parent, even if the living situation becomes separate.

 

  1. Informing the school teachers that you are going through a divorce will allow the teachers to be an extension of your eyes and to look for and notice any unusual behavior in your children and inform the parents, as well as to be extra sensitive to what the child may be going through.

 

  1. Give your children appropriate time and space to deal with their feelings of sadness, anger or resentment.  Children process information differently than adults do. Allow your children to feel free to express their feelings to you.  When they do express their feelings, be supporting and comforting and try to determine what may help them feel better. If they are not getting better with time, it may be a good idea to consider getting them counseling or professional help.

 

  1. Have a conversation with your children about how to deal with their friends asking questions regarding the separation or divorce.  Your children should not be forced into disclosing any information that they are not comfortable with.  Exude confidence in your children to say “no” to answering questions if they are not comfortable in a particular situation or about discussing a particular topic.

 

  1. Make time to do fun things with your children.  Just because it’s time to go back to school, does not mean that there can’t be fun time on weekdays.  Plan a particular day of the week to go have ice cream together, or play in the park, or watch a movie.  Getting your children out of the house also puts them in a new environment that may make it easier for them to express their feelings and talk about their day.

 

If you are dealing with divorce and need assistance with a parenting plan or any other family law matters, contact Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation (646) 472-7971.

25 Tips for Dealing with Conflict in Marriage and Relationships

Conflict in Marriage

Healthy relationships are an essential part of life. Relationships include the casual to the familial as well as romantic . People enter such relationships, with the best of intentions.

However, as time goes by, disagreements are bound to occur in any relationship and usually everyone tries to make it work. When conflicts arise in an intimate relationship, in a marriage, such discord does not necessarily lead to ending a relationship, but it can be a very compelling reason. If you value the person you are with, whether in a relationship or by marriage, then you will try to heal the discord.

Here are some very helpful tips for revitalizing your relationship with your partner and help you deal with conflict in marriage:

  1. Listen to them sincerely (with an open heart and no judgment).
  2. Try to look at things from their point of view. Be curious.  Ask them questions about their point of view to get a clearer understanding.
  3. Pay attention and truly listen to them when they speak to you.
  4. Be mindful of their likes and dislikes.
  5. Be respectful of their opinions.
  6. Establish boundaries with your partner by discussing and defining them together.
  7. Live by the “rules” as much as your partner.
  8. Don’t play the blame game.
  9. Find things you like in common.
  10. Plan your future together.
  11. Always give as much space as required to your partner.
  12. Do not snoop on your partner.
  13. Trust them to be honest and act in kind.
  14. Be honest about your feelings.
  15. Try to look at things objectively.
  16. Don’t be overly selfish or overly sacrificing, be sincere and honor your needs.
  17. Discord is good if you can find common ground.
  18. In arguments, remain calm and practical.
  19. Ensure all duties are shared fairly.
  20. Reward your partner with affection.
  21. Be appreciative of the things they do for you, particularly the small things.
  22. Consider how life would be without them. Look at all of the areas of your life where they have added value (this may require a real hard honest look).
  23. Establish relationship goals together.
  24. Know clearly what your partner wants and be clear about your wants.
  25. In extremes, seek couples counseling, therapy,  or relationship coaching.

Where Can You Find the Best Divorce Mediation Attorney In NYC?

It can happen that despite your best intentions and efforts, a marriage is not going the way you want and you see no movement in the direction that you want the relationship to go. In such cases, parting ways can be a very sensible option. If you are looking for the best divorce mediation attorney in NYC, Sabra Law Group is one of the most well-known divorce law experts. Sabra can help you reach an amicable split with your spouse that addresses and resolves all of the issues. Contact Sabra Law Group now at 646-472-7971 and let her firm help you take back control of your life!

How to Plan for Retirement When Going Through a Divorce in New York

Divorce in New York

Going through a divorce can be a very difficult thing. This is especially true if you are nearing retirement. In such cases, you have to bear the risk of losing out on a significant portion of your savings. However, this does not need to be the case. With the right kind of legal guidance and prudent planning, you can protect your retirement fund. Here are some important factors to consider:

  1. Pre-Nuptial Agreement

In this day and age where almost half of all marriages in the US end in divorces, it is completely negligent to not have a prenup. While you might enter into a matrimonial bond purely based on romantic feelings, that does not exempt you from being prudent. However, most divorce cases do not have a prenup and if you are reading this, then, while it is probably already too late for a prenup, a post-nuptial agreement may be appropriate. Nevertheless, any person looking to get married should invest in a prenup that protects them, their assets and their children in case of divorce.

  1. Grounds for Divorce

During the hearing of a divorce case, it is very important to explain its cause. For example, if your spouse has had an adulterous relationship, then that is certainly grounds for divorce. Further, you can protect your finances from being split up with your former spouse. However, you are going to need sound professional advice in order to make that happen.

  1. The Agreement

It may happen that you want to get a divorce, but your spouse does not. Or it can be the case that your spouse has filed for divorce and now you might lose part of your savings. In such situations, you should seek out legal help as soon as possible. The details of every case are unique as are the people who are going to be advocating for each side. The best way to come out on top is to hire reputable and experienced divorce lawyers who can negotiate a favorable divorce agreement on your behalf.

Where Can You Get Legal Help to Plan for Retirement and Divorce in New York?

Sabra Law Group is one of the leading divorce specialists in New York. Sabra has helped countless clients resolve their divorces with the least impact possible on their retirement plans. Ensure your freedom and future security comes at the least possible price. Call 646-472-7971 and book an appointment with Sabra today!

The 5 Key Steps to Healthy Relationships and Marriage

5 Key Steps to Healthy Relationships

Maintaining a healthy relationship does not come easy.  It takes a collaborative effect from both partners to maintain a healthy relationship.

Learn the 5 Key Steps to Healthy Relationships

  1. Accept them for who they are: As you date someone and get to know them better, you will discover things about them that you don’t admire.  It is important to remember to still treat them with respect and understand that you may not always agree on everything.  They may have their own belief systems, values and ways of unique dealing with situations; cherish their point of view and be open to see things from their perspective.
  2. Meet the basic needs of a relationship:  People choose to be in a relationship for many reasons.  Some reasons include love, affection, emotional support and friendship.  For other people, their basic needs may be more elaborate, therefore, it is imperative to really listen to your partner and learn what is essential to their needs.
  3. The ability to forgive:  People are human and do make mistakes.  In a relationship, it is important to forgive.  The ability to forgive your partner is what allows you to move forward in the relationship.   It also prevents feelings of resentment.
  4. The ability to solve problems:  Every relationship will encounter problems but it is how one handles complex situations that determines the outcome.  By making a conscious effort to solve conflict and problems in a relationship and getting past the issues is a great way to maintain a healthy relationship.  Furthermore, it can even bring you closer together.
  5. Apologize when you are in the wrong: Apologize quickly when you know you have done something wrong to upset your partner.  Taking too long to acknowledge that you did something wrong will make matters worse.  Part of having any healthy relationship is the ability to communicate honestly and effectively.

Are You in an Unhealthy Relationship or Marriage?

If you are in an unhealthy relationship or marriage, and have done your best to make it work, it may be time to explore other options.  Ask your partner if they are willing to go to couples’ counseling, relationship coaching and to learn how to make adjustments in their (and your) behavior for the sake of the relationship.  If all else fails, it may be time to move on, close the chapter on this relationship and then move on to a healthier relationship.

If you have questions about divorce or divorce mediation, contact Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.