How to Deal With Infidelity in a Marriage in New York

Dealing with infidelity in a marriage in New York is a very difficult thing to go through.  Infidelity can definitely put a strain on a marriage.  While some couples may go to therapy and be able to get past it, others are not so fortunate. In fact, according to a statistic on this website, “57% of marriages that experience infidelity end up in divorce.” Below, let’s explore some ways you can get through this difficult time.

How to Deal with Infidelity in a Marriage in New York

Allow Yourself to Feel the Pain


Ignoring and bottling up your emotions will only exemplify the problem.  If your spouse has cheated on you, it is important to acknowledge your emotions and go through the hurt, anger, and/or sadness.  It is natural to feel these emotions and by giving yourself the grace to feel these emotions; it may help you in the healing process.


Get the Support of Family and Friends


You don’t have to go through this alone.  Reach out to a trusted friend or family member and tell them what happened and how you are feeling.  Even if all they do is lend a listening ear, it may be healthy to get it out in the open.  And, you never know if they went through a particular experience, they may be able to provide some useful advice.  Since you are in the situation, it may be difficult to have perspective but if they have gone through it, they may be able to shed some light on the situation that you may not be able to see.


Don’t Shut Your Spouse Out


If you are willing to fight for your marriage, it will be important to leave the lines of communication with your spouse open.  It may also be helpful to discuss if you are both willing to salvage the marriage or not.  If you are both willing to try, it may help to go to couples therapy and work through the challenges that your marriage is facing. 


Give it Some Time


Don’t make any harsh or rash decisions.  You must make any big decision with a clear head and immediately filing for divorce may be making an emotional decision.  When it comes to ending a marriage, it is important to also think about it rationally.


Consult a New York Divorce Mediation Lawyer


If you are unclear on what to do or have decided that you want out of your marriage, it may make sense to discuss your options with a New York family and divorce mediation lawyer who can help educate you on your options.  Call Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 for the legal guidance you need.

Should You Forgive Your Spouse for Cheating or File for Divorce?

Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce in America. Many married couples have to wonder if they should forgive their spouse for cheating or if they should file for divorce. Deciding to divorce is a major life decision so it should not be taken lightly.


We must also consider that the definition of cheating means different things to different people.  Some would define cheating as having a physical relationship with anyone other than their spouse. Other forms of cheating may be as simple as talking to a person of the opposite sex and may be considered emotional cheating.


Is Emotional Cheating Considered Cheating?


Depending on who you ask, the answer might be “yes” emotional cheating is cheating. 


One example of cheating emotionally is when a physical relationship has not transpired yet but there are text messages to prove that it's leading in that direction.  The marriage vows that were taken to be faithful until death do you part have gone out the door. The spouse that is being emotionally cheated on may feel hurt and betrayed that their spouse was planning to cheat physically. They may also question if their spouse has already cheated on them in the past. 


Once trust is lost in a marriage, it is difficult to get it back.  Also, depending on the jealousy level of a spouse, it can be harder for someone who is jealous by nature to deal with emotional cheating.  


How is Cheating Defined in a Marriage?


At a personal level, how cheating is defined really depends on each individual. It depends on what your tolerance level is, and how confident you are with your mate. What type of a relationship you set up in the beginning also plays a huge part. Furthermore, it depends on what your level of trust is with your partner; do you trust them, or do you not trust them?  There is a legal aspect as well, and how your state defines “adultery” and what proof would be necessary to meet the legal burden of proof. 


Have Open Communication with Your Spouse Before Jumping to Conclusions


If you suspect that your spouse has been cheating on you, it is best to confront them openly and candidly. You never know if you're overreacting to something that you think is going on and what if there was nothing going on? You wouldn't want to end your marriage based off that prematurely. It would be wise to gather all the facts before jumping to conclusions. You may want to seek the assistance of a professional who can help support each of you in navigating this difficult and sensitive conversation. If you do end up learning that your spouse has been cheating on you; you may have to do some soul-searching to figure out if you want to give this marriage another chance. In addition, you will need to determine if this was an isolated incident or if your spouse may have a pattern of cheating throughout the years?


Is Forgiveness Possible?


If there are already trust issues in your marriage it may be difficult to overcome this betrayal. You must think about what you want and see if you can get through this together as a couple. Marriage counseling may also be a good option to consider if you are not ready to give up so easily. 


If you are not able to get over the infidelity and feel that you will foster resentment, it may be challenging to move forward in your marriage. You will have to ask yourself some difficult questions during this process, such as “am I willing to forgive and get past this for the sake of our relationship?”


Explore Your Options and Then Make Your Final Decision


You always have the option to consult a Manhattan divorce mediator to see what your options are if you do decide to part ways.  Call Sabra Law Group today if you are considering divorce in New York at (646) 472-7971.