5 Tips on How to Handle Your Fiancée When You Want a Prenup but They Don’t

You just got engaged and are over the moon excited to spend the rest of your life with the love of your life, but you also have lots of planning to do.  Part of the wedding planning process is also having difficult conversations with your spouse about your future together. Let’s say that you want a prenup, but your spouse does not want to get a prenup; as much as you may want to dance around this topic, it is best to communicate openly with your fiancée. A marriage that is built on mutual trust and open communication is always a good thing.

 

If you are contemplating having the “prenup” conversation with your fiancée because you already know that they are against it; the tips below may be helpful to you.

 

5 Tips on Navigating the “Prenup” Conversation with Your Fiancée

 

Acknowledge Their Feelings and Why They Feel the Way They Do:  Some people may view a prenup as a lack of trust and it is important to realize it may have nothing to do with you.  It may have to do with how they were raised and how their parents’ relationship impacted and shaped them. In this case, it is critical to reassure your fiancée that you do trust them, and this has nothing to do with your love or commitment for them.

 

Be Able to Communicate Your “Why” for Wanting a Prenup: Just as you should empathize with your fiancée; they should also be able to take your feelings into account.  Base your reasoning on facts rather than emotions.  If you can present a logical dialogue that can show your fiancée that having a “prenup” in place is meant to benefit both parties and not just you.

 

Pick the Right Time to Have the “Prenup” Conversation: Know your cues and if your fiancée just had a bad day or came back exhausted after a long business trip, find another day to have that discussion.  A day when they are in a good mood and do not have too many other distractions. You can also let them know that you want to discuss some marriage plans, so they are not completely caught off guard. When you do talk, you also want to make sure that you take their feedback into consideration and are empathetic to their feelings.

 

Pick the Right Place to Have the “Prenup” Conversation: Just as you need to know your cues for the right timing, you will also want to have the conversation in the right place.  Talking about a prenup is a serious and sensitive topic.  Choosing the right place to have the conversation is also important and it is recommended to choose a place that is neutral – so, it may be on a park bench or at a local diner.  It is not recommended to have this conversation at home or at your favorite restaurant.  You want to keep those places safe, sacred, and loving. So choose a neutral quiet place where you can both still have privacy but does not have special meaning to the two of you.

 

Consider Working with a New York Prenup Attorney and Mediator Who Can Help: Sometimes it is easy to let your attorney have difficult conversations with your fiancée, and they may be able to address their concerns and come to a resolution that works for both of you.

 

Compromising is Key: Marriage is all about give and take, so be prepared to compromise with your future spouse.  You may not agree 100% on everything but if you can meet halfway, it may allow you to move forward in the “prenup” process.

 

 

Consult a New York Prenup Lawyer if You Need Help with a Prenup

 

Contact Sabra Law Group today to speak to an experienced New York prenup lawyer and mediation attorney who can provide you with the legal guidance you need.  Call today at (646) 472-7971.