Filing for Divorce in New York

What You Need to Know About Divorcing a Narcissist in New York

Perhaps the reason for you filing for divorce is that you realized you were married to a narcissist.  Narcissistic people and personalities are some of the most difficult people to deal with.  And, unfortunately, just because you are getting divorced, the narcissist will not stop doing what they do. Let’s take it one step further…you both have children together.  Having children together means that you will still need to communicate with your spouse or at least make other arrangements for communication.  It is imperative to realize that a narcissist will still try to manipulate you or even your children.   Let’s explore what you need to know about divorcing a narcissist in New York.

Divorcing a narcissist in New York

What Are Some Common Behaviors of Narcissists

 

Narcissists hate taking accountability for their actions and many times they will intentionally provoke you to get a reaction out of you.  This is where you have to be able to recognize what they are doing and not give them the reaction that they are looking for.  Once they realize that you are no longer bothered or impacted by them, they will begin to lose their power over you. 

 

Narcissists Will Never Realize What They Did Wrong…They Will Only Blame You for Your Reaction to Their Actions

 

It is important to know that no matter what you try to do, it will be very difficult to win with them.  So, instead of trying to win the fight, learn how to identify and predict their behavior and control your responses.  Especially when there are children involved, it is key to learn how set boundaries and document all of their bad behavior.  If the court finds that they may present a danger to the children or sacrifice the best interest of the children, the court may limit the amount of time they get with their children.

 

Don’t Blame Yourself and Fall For Their Storyline

 

 

Don’t fall for their bait, narcissists have a nature to reel you in like they were out fishing, so remember to not fall for their bait.  The only way to get ahead is to truly understand that they will never change their behavior, therefore, you must realize how to manage the situation and maintain being calm, no matter what.

 

Determine What Triggers You and Neutralize Those Triggers

 

Self-awareness is key when it comes to dealing with a narcissistic ex.  Be aware of the behaviors your ex exhibits that pushes your buttons and learn to program yourself to not be impacted every time your button is pushed.  The more they get a reaction out of you, the more satisfaction they will get that their plan is working.  On the contrary, if you seem unbothered, they may have to find another victim; one that falls into their trap.

 

Need Help Divorcing a Narcissistic Spouse in New York?

 

Sabra Law Group can help you litigate your divorce and handle difficult divorce matters by communicating on your behalf.  Call Sabra Law Group today to schedule a confidential appointment to discuss your divorce at (646) 472-7971.

 

10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Considering Divorce in New York

10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Considering Divorce in New York Contemplating divorce should never be taken lightly.  Deciding to divorce should be well-thought out and it is important to have the right conversations.  By conversations, this means conversations with yourself and your spouse. Below are 10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Considering Divorce in New York.

 

Have You Communicated Your Feelings to Your Spouse?

 

The first question you should ask yourself is have you taken the time to open and honestly communicate with your spouse about your unhappiness in the marriage?  Have you told them that you are unhappy and considering divorce?  By openly communicating with your spouse, it allows them to potentially fix what may be broken in the marriage.  One of the reasons marriages fail in New York is also because of lack of communication.

 

Have You Tried Marriage Counseling? 

 

Many New York couples have been able to salvage their marriage because of marriage counseling.  If you and your spouse have not entirely given up on your marriage, it may make sense to try seeking the assistance of a therapist or marriage counselor.

 

Do You Have a Clear Understanding of Why You Want a Divorce?

 

You should have a clear understanding of the reasons why you are considering divorce.  If you are unable to come to a clear understanding, then you may need to do a bit more soul-searching before making such a huge decision.

 

Are You Financially Prepared for Divorce?

 

Divorce can be expensive in New York; especially if it is more complex and requires litigation.  Divorce mediation is a more cost-effective option if you and your spouse are on speaking terms and willing to make decisions without having to go to court. You must also consider the living arrangements and expenses after divorce.

 

Are You Willing to Disrupt Your Children’s Lifestyle?

 

Getting a divorce may mean that your children may have to change schools or give up their friends or after-school activities that they enjoy.  You will have to assess how the divorce may impact your children and weigh your options of what is right for you and your family.

 

Are You Emotionally Prepared for Divorce?

 

Divorce can be emotionally taxing. Do you have a support system to rely on if needed?  Divorce is one of the most stressful life events you will have to go through in your life.

 

Are You Making a Spontaneous Decision to Divorce Because You Are Angry?

 

Ask yourself if you are claiming to divorce because you are angry at something that happened recently or are the problems in your marriage are more of a boiling pot that just tipped over?

 

Will You Have Regrets About Ending Your Marriage?

 

Be prepared to ask yourself if you will have regrets afterwards.  Because if you are really ending your marriage to do what is best for you; you should not have any regrets.

 

Are You Prepared to Make Such a Drastic Change In Your Life Right Now?

 

And maybe divorce is the answer, but you must also ask yourself about “timing.” Is it the right time for you to divorce now or would you be in a better place 6-12 months from now?  A divorce is something that requires planning and careful consideration of the next steps.  There are so many factors to consider such as who will live where?

 

Are You Able to Handle Being a Single Parent?

 

What plan do you have to take care of your children?  What about having to go back to the workforce to make a living; would you be comfortable putting your children in daycare or with a babysitter?  Being a single parent means being able to juggle everything on your own and also be able to financially support yourself and your children.

 

 

Divorcing? Need Help Sorting Through Child Support and Divorce Matters in New York?

 

Are you considering divorce in New York? Call Sabra Law Group to discuss your options in case you do decide that you want to get divorced.  Reach out to us at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Valid Fears That Keep People in a Bad Marriage

Getting Out of a Bad MarriageThere are so many reasons that people stay in a bad marriage, but the number one reason is fear.  There is a huge fear of the unknown amongst other things.  Let’s explore 10 valid fears that keep people in a bad marriage.

 

Not Being Able to Survive Financially on Your Own

 

Let’s face it, the financial aspect of divorce is a huge factor that induces fear.  Let’s suppose that your spouse is the sole income provider and you have spent the majority of the marriage taking care of the children.  Now…being faced with having to go back into the workforce after years of not working can be a scary thought.

 

Being Worried About How Divorce May Impact the Children

 

One of the main reasons people delay divorce is because of the welfare of their children.  Some parents even stay in a bad marriage until the children are of legal age in order to protect their children from the ramifications of divorce. 

 

Being Alone or Lonely

 

Especially if one has been married for many years, the thought of having to be single or start over can be scary.  It makes it harder if one has been dependent on their spouse for everything.  After being accustomed to having your spouse around and relying on them for friendship, emotional and financial support, going at it alone may instill a bit of anxiety. 

 

Feeling Like You Will Never Meet Someone and Being Alone

 

The thought of getting back out there in the dating realm can be difficult for some people to comprehend.  Couple that with a lack of confidence and it becomes a fear that may keep someone in a bad marriage longer than they need to be.  Confidence can be built up over time and by doing things that help you feel and look your best.  Working out, eating right, dressing up even just to go to the grocery store can boost your mood and confidence.

 

The Guilt of Hurting Your Spouse

 

Guilt is another factor that may impact staying in a bad marriage or not.  One may feel guilty for wanting to leave their spouse; especially if their spouse is emotionally fragile. Divorce is painful by nature and most people do not want to intentionally hurt their spouse.

 

Are You Scared of Leaving a Bad Marriage?

 

If you are scared of leaving a bad marriage, you are not alone.  So many New York married couples struggle with the difficult decision of staying in a bad marriage or divorcing.  Just know that you are not alone and so many clients that come to us are all conflicted with making this difficult decision.  Sometimes, it helps to explore your options so that if you do want out of your marriage, you have an idea of what to expect ahead of time instead of frantically trying to get your questions answered when things do come to an end.

 

Don’t Let Your Fear Get in the Way of Exploring Your Options

 

If you have questions about divorce or custody in New York City or need help getting out of a bad marriage, call Sabra Law Group to schedule a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

The Reason Why More Women File for Divorce in New York Than Men

 

Why more women file for divorce in New York

Women get divorced every year in New York for many different reasons. There are some consistent themes of common reasons women file for divorce in New York.  Reasons for divorcing can vary from infidelity to domestic violence to growing apart and more.

 

Factors that Contribute to Women Filing for Divorce in New York

 

Infidelity:  A cheating spouse is one of the major reasons for women wanting to divorce.  While some women may be able to forgive their spouse for infidelity, others may not be willing to stay in a marriage with a partner who cheats.  There are also lots of other considerations, such as if an instance of infidelity was a one-time thing or if it is an ongoing situation.

 

An Abusive Husband:  Domestic violence is another reason that women file for divorce in New York.  Domestic violence does not always have to be only physical abuse.  It can also consist of emotional abuse.  Feeling trapped in an abusive marriage can be a very tough situation.  Many women want to find a way to get out of an abusive marriage and find a healthier and happier life.

 

Growing Apart:  When a husband starts acting distant with his wife, it is easy for her to get frustrated and feel isolated.  This is also common in marriages where the husband may travel frequently for work so is already not as available; and when he does have time, he is emotionally and possibly physically disconnected as well.

 

Lack of Communication:  Communication is essential in a healthy marriage and relationship.  When a husband refuses to communicate with his wife in a marriage, it can cause a strain on the marriage.  Especially if the wife has tried to communicate with her husband repeatedly without getting any reciprocation.

 

Women Opt for Financial Freedom:  Many women who have a career or business of their own and have income coming in are less likely to stay in an unhappy marriage.  Because they have the financial freedom to support their lifestyle and/or children, it is easier to walk away from an unhappy marriage.

 

Considering Divorcing Your Husband in New York City?

 

If you are considering divorcing your husband in NYC, contact Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to schedule a confidential consultation.