Win-Win Resolution

Why Divorce Can Be a Win-Win for Both Parties

DIvorce can be a win-winDivorce has a reputation for being an acrimonious and litigious process. Fortunately, it doesn't have to be that way. With mediation in New York, divorce can be a win-win.

That may be difficult to believe. Anger, sadness, and confusion can make a divorce feel like a never-ending battle. If both of the parties can shift their focus to an outcome that is positive for everyone involved, then they may discover that their thought processes become more rational. Instead of becoming mired in the turmoil of the present, they begin to see a future in which both former partners and their children are flourishing.

Deciding to litigate a divorce frequently leads to increased rancor. Unfortunately, many people believe that the courtroom is the only place to decide issues like spousal support, child support, and child custody. Divorce can be a win-win when couples choose mediation in New York instead.

Mediation is a collaborative process that has spouses working together to resolve issues in a constructive manner. This makes the process far less emotionally draining on the former partners and their children.

A trained mediator listens to the viewpoints of both parties on each issue. And the mediator helps the parties to hear and understand each side’s perspective and facilitates a conversation so that they can reach decisions on each of the issues that are acceptable to everyone. It is rewarding and helpful for the family to feel that they have a voice and that they are being heard. The mediation process even lets each partner actively participate in making decisions. This is a vast improvement over having a judge dictate decisions with which neither party may agree.

Through the mediation process, divorcing couples may learn more effective communication techniques that will serve them in the coming years, particularly if a relationship must be maintained for the sake of any shared children. It's valuable to know that even at an emotionally difficult time it is possible to work together to find common-sense solutions. 

Just as importantly, divorce resolutions can be reached in far less time than litigation requires. This makes it possible for everyone to begin focusing on their new lives much sooner, and that's a win-win for the whole family as it allows for faster healing.

If you would like to learn more about how divorce can be a win-win with mediation in New York, contact the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971. A collaborative process will put your family on the path to healing.

 

How to Ensure That Your Communication Style is a Win-Win for Your Marriage

Communication StyleEffective communication is the hallmark of every successful marriage. In fact, if you want to have a win-win marriage, then it is vital for you and your partner to identify your communication style and make any adjustments that may be necessary.

Experts agree that when it comes to communication style, there are four main types. These are Passive, Aggressive, Passive-Aggressive and Assertive. Studies suggest that it is only when both parties in a marriage use the Assertive communication style that true intimacy can be achieved. These marriages tend to last longer and be more satisfying and successful.

The Passive style of communication is characterized by an unwillingness to share thoughts and feelings. Low self-esteem may be behind this tendency, but it sometimes comes from a desire to avoid hurting the feelings of others or to prevent criticism. 

At the opposite extreme is the Aggressive style. This means that at least one of the partners is prone to casting blame on others and making accusations. Aggressive communicators also tend to over-generalize with terms like "always" and "never." People who communicate in this manner may feel threatened or be reacting to negative thoughts and feelings. A tendency to focus on personal characteristics as opposed to the situation further is typical.

The Passive-Aggressive communicator relies on both of these styles. To their partner, they appear entirely passive. Their feelings and thoughts go unexpressed in a one-on-one dialogue with their spouse. However, all of those pent-up feelings come out when the Passive-Aggressive communicator is talking with friends or family. Meanwhile, the spouse is unaware that there are any problems requiring resolution.

Assertive communicators are different in that they communicate thoughts and feelings in a healthy and non-defensive manner. They are open to their partner's viewpoint, and they place a premium on remaining respectful. This type of communicator doesn't deny their feelings. Moreover, when there is a problem, they tend to focus on the issue rather than on the personalities involved. When one partner uses Assertive communication, this encourages the other to do the same. The result is increased intimacy and a healthier overall relationship in which no one's needs are being ignored.

If your efforts to build a win-win marriage are proving fruitless, call the Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971. These experienced legal professionals believe in a collaborative divorce process that puts the well-being of your entire family at the forefront of the proceedings.

How to Reach a Win-Win Resolution in Your Marriage

Win-Win Communication

 

Conflict is a natural part of all human relationships. It's simply unrealistic to assume that you and your partner will always be in perfect accord. 

Moreover, conflict can be incredibly healthy, especially if it is concluded with a win-win resolution. This means settling a conflict can bring the two of you closer together and strengthen your relationship. 

Unfortunately, many relationships are rife with poor conflict resolution. Couples may fight and then hold a grudge for years without ever resolving the situation. Alternatively, they avoid the uncomfortable topic by sweeping it under the rug. Other couples freeze up with conflict, going through the motions of their relationship without feeling anything inside. 

A successful marriage requires the ability to forgive and forget, to move forward while letting the little things go. All of this needs dedication to a win-win resolution in every conflict. This doesn't necessarily mean that both partners get everything they want every time. That is an unrealistic expectation. 

It does mean that both partners maintain a commitment to treating each other with respect and decency. Even in the midst of a conflict, they stay close to each other. They tackle the issue rather than each other. 

By keeping a focus on the problem it's possible to disagree while still remaining connected and engaged. Each partner is committed to solving the problem in a manner that demonstrates how much they love and care for the other partner. One partner's goal isn't for him to "win" at all costs. Instead, both of their goals are for the marriage to win. 

Negotiation is the hallmark of most successful marriages. It requires that each partner do some deep reflection on what's really important to them in any conflict. In other words, what is their goal and why is it so vital to them? Then, these reasons must be articulated to their partner. With this approach, it is possible for both partners to understand and acknowledge the viewpoint of the other. 

Many couples discover that they occupy more common ground than they realized before. This facilitates a healthy and relatively fair negotiation in which both partners get a bit of what they wanted and understand the other better in the process. 

If you would like to learn more about how to achieve a win-win resolution in your marriage or as you work to amicably dissolve it, contact the Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971.