Should You Tell Your Friends That You Are Getting Divorced?
When it comes to getting divorced there are many considerations that come to mind. There are so many people that you may need to break the news of divorce to; however, is it always best to tell your friends that you're getting divorced? It depends, sometimes it is a good idea and sometimes it is not, so it requires your discernment.
It may already be hard enough to break the news of your divorce to your parents especially if they were really close with your spouse. And of course, you can't hide divorce from the kids, so you do have to break the news to them which is usually difficult to do. But when it comes to telling your friends about your divorce there are pros and there are cons.
The Pros of Telling Your Friends That You Are Getting Divorced
One of the advantages of telling your friends that you're getting divorced is that you may need a support system to rely on during this difficult time. There will be days when you are feeling extremely challenged and having someone to talk too can help take some of that burden off. Another consideration is that your friends may see a perspective that you don't see which can help bring more clarity to your divorce.
Not keeping your emotions bottled up is a healthy way to release the pain that you may be feeling during this time. However, do not rely solely on your friends as they also have their own problems and challenges in life. If you are overwhelmed by your divorce, it may make sense to seek professional help, such as a therapist, life or divorce coach or member of the clergy.
The Cons of Telling Your Friends That You're Getting Divorced
Sometimes it's not always a good idea to tell your friends right away that you're getting divorced. It may be better to hold off a bit and be very strategic about which friends you choose to share your divorce news with. You may be in a vulnerable state and the last thing you need is to tell someone who's going to become who's going to share your personal business with everyone else. There is nothing worse than telling a friend something in confidence and they go gossip with other friends.
Don’t Be Afraid to Set Boundaries with Your Friends
It is important to set boundaries with your friends, and if certain friends intrude too much in your personal life, it is okay to say, “I don’t feel comfortable sharing that with you.”
Furthermore, some friends may give you the tough love that you don't really need. You may be looking for compassion and an ear to listen, but some friends may come down hard on you. This may have nothing to do with you, but more so their own personal experience with divorce.
Other friends may give you unwanted advice that isn't necessarily best for the outcome of your divorce and your situation. It is imperative to be discerning with which advice to take to heart and which to let in one ear and out the other.
Some friends may not want to hear you complain about your divorce all the time and it is important to recognize who those friends are and respect their space. It may also be beneficial to your emotional well-being to have friends who are not aware of your divorce so that you can “be yourself” and not have your divorce and what is happening in that aspect of your life be front and center in all of your interactions with others. The group of friends who do not know can serve as a sort of “reprieve” and an “escape”.
Getting Divorce in New York?
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