You may be wondering what makes me a qualified divorce mediator or review/consulting attorney for divorce.
First of all I’ve been there. I know what it is like to be married to someone and it’s just not working. While I tried to have my divorce mediated, which was suppose to be less expensive and fast, I quickly learned that it was not an option for me and my ex and instead we litigated our divorce, which simply meant that we had to go to court A LOT. My lawyers charged me a lot of money, and many legal papers were drafted, responded to and exchanged between his and my attorneys. I thought I was living through a “living hell”. It was awful and painful. It felt like I was in “purgatory” since I was neither “married” or “single” or “separated”. I was going through a divorce. It felt a lot like going to war – or like a game of chess. You didn’t know what your opponents’ next move would be and so you just had to be prepared for everything and anything.
I was lucky though.
My divorce was over within 6 months. Which is a short period of time for a contested divorce, but to me, it felt like a lifetime.
As you might imagine, this event was quite significant to me. And I thought about it a lot and I asked myself many questions trying to understand: How did I wind up married to someone that wasn’t right for me? What did I do wrong? How can I make sure not to make the same mistake again? And many more.
What I can say now is that my “bad” experience was also a GIFT.
Because of my divorce, I discovered my true calling, my talent and my expertise.
And, the best part is I had no idea that my prior work experience practicing law in the areas of tax, contracts, real estate, and estate planning was exactly what I needed to support the work that I do today.
I left my job as in-house counsel with a real estate developer to start my own law practice in April 2005 representing individuals and small developers who purchased and sold residential and commercial real estate as well as landlord-tenant issues and in 2006 I started to practice divorce mediation and later added prenups to the practice.
I realized that if, to me, my divorce was awful, scary, sad, painful, long, expensive, and frustrating but also vindicating and freeing, then imagine what it must be like for couples who have been married for 5, 10, 15, 20 even 30 years, who decide to call it quits, who have children and accumulated assets. Divorce is painful; not only for the couple who decide to divorce, but for the entire family. It is complicated. Think about all of the property they may have been acquired, investments, and other assets that now must be “equitably distributed” (this is a legal term) between them. Consider spousal support and child support and the age of the couple. All of these factors further complicate a divorce and make it even more scary and frustrating for the couple.
But, what if there was another way to divorce, a way in which they might be able to divorce on their terms, without being told what to do by a court, or attorneys, and if their particular circumstances can be taken into consideration and a fair division could be reached? At least, may the divorce could be a little easier and maybe a little less expensive and take less time than if they went to court.
So, if you look at my career from estate planning, to tax law, to real estate and landlord-tenant practice. It makes sense after my experience that I am utilizing my knowledge and expertise in all of these fields to help couples divorce.