Parenting

A Manhattan Divorce Mediator Shares the Importance of Co-Parenting Effectively

When children are involved in a divorce, both parents need to come together to co-parent.  Children need both of their parents, and it is essential to their well-being to have both parents actively participate in the co-parenting process. A Manhattan divorce mediator shares some tips below on how to co-parent more effectively.

How to Co-Parent More Effectively in New York

1. Have Open Communication:  Communication is the key when it comes to co-parenting.  It is so important to be open about what it is important to you when it comes to parenting.  Have open discussions about what you want to incorporate into your children’s life.  Have discussions about what types of extra-curricular activities you want your children to partake in.  Talk about what morals and values you want to instill in your children.  Discuss how your children will be disciplined if they misbehave. 

 

2. You May Not Agree on Everything, but Respect is Important: When it comes to co-parenting, both parents may not always agree on every single thing but it is important to respect each other’s opinions.

 

3. Involve Your Children in Decisions That Impact Them: If your children are old enough to have a say in what’s important to them, make sure you talk to them to determine how you can both be better parents.  Whether this means being more present in the moment or spending more time with your children.

 

4. Determine the Preferred Communication Method: Both parents need to determine if they prefer to communicate via email, text messaging or in person. If is also advisable to be cognizant if your ex-spouse is better at responding quicker via certain channels versus slower with others.

 

5. Show Grace: There may be times when your ex has had a rough day and may be a bit snippy.  Instead of being snippy back, try to put yourself in their shoes and show some compassion.  The more supportive of each other you can be the smoother the entire co-parenting process will go.

 

6. Be Willing to Pivot as Needed: New York City is still navigating through the COVID-19 pandemic and depending on what industry your ex-spouse is in; it may impact their involvement when it comes to co-parenting.  Be accommodating during this time if everything does not go as planned.

 

If you need assistance with divorce or co-parenting matters, contact Sabra Law Group today to schedule a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Manage Co-Parenting in New York with a Narcissistic Ex-Spouse

Narcissistic Ex-Spouse

Maybe you decided to divorce your spouse because they had quite the personality.  A personality that can be defined as narcissistic.  Narcissistic personalities are very difficult to handle for several reasons.  For one, they only think of themselves and their own needs.

A narcissistic ex usually has an excessive need for attention, and they also lack empathy. 
Depending on the type of narcissist they happen to be, they may be even more challenging to deal with when it comes to co-parenting.  

5 Ways to Manage Co-Parenting in New York with a Narcissistic Ex 

1)    Set Boundaries:  Boundaries are going to be essential when it comes to dealing with a narcissistic ex. Your ex may like to push the boundaries, but it is important to call out unacceptable behavior as it happens.  When you do call out the bad behavior, it is important to speak in a calm but firm tone. 
2)    Focus on the Parenting Plan:  Keep the focus on developing a highly structured parenting plan.  This will be instrumental to having a systematic method to handle co-parenting.  Make sure that parenting schedules, holidays, and vacations are outlined in great detail.  The more detailed the parenting plan is, the less room there will be for misunderstandings and miscommunication. 
3)    Consult a New York Mediator Who Can Help You:  Utilizing a third-party mediator will be a lifesaver when it comes to working out conflict and co-parenting issues that you are not able to come to a resolution on with your ex. 
4)    Stay Calm No Matter What: A challenging, narcissistic ex-spouse will push your buttons, but remember that you have full control over how you react.  Sometimes, they may push your buttons just to irritate you.  When they see that you are not that bothered…they may not try as hard to push your buttons. 
5)    Set the Right Example for Your Children:  If you need to vent about your ex, do not vent to your children.  Some days will be very difficult when it comes to dealing with your ex, but have a friend or family member that you can reach out to when you need someone to talk to about your ex. 

Need Help Managing Co-Parenting with Your Narcissistic Ex-Spouse?

Contact Sabra Law Group today to speak to an experienced mediator who can help you deal with your narcissistic ex and develop a parenting plan that is designed to protect the best interest of your children. Call Sabra today at (646) 472-7971.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You Have Decided to File for Divorce in New York But Now You Have to Tell the Children

You decided to put the divorce on hold for after the holidays and now that the New Year is here, you want to officially start the divorce process.  One of the most difficult things that you will have to handle when it comes to divorce is how to tell the children about your divorce.

 

You will have to deal with breaking the news of divorce to the children sooner or later, so you and your spouse might as well start figuring out a plan now.  It is best to tell the children together with your spouse.

 

Start with Telling the Oldest Children First

 

If you have children that are pre-teens or teens, then it is best to tell them sooner than later.  This is because if you don’t tell them and they end up overhearing a conversation or end up finding some documents pertaining to the divorce, they will be upset that you kept it from them.

 

Even if they don’t overhear you or find some documents, teenagers can sense when something is off between their parents.

 

If you also have younger children, make sure you tell your teenage children to not say anything to them until you feel the time is right to break the news to them.  However, don’t wait too long because it is not fair to your teenage children to have the burden of hiding the divorce news from their siblings.

 

If Your Children Are Closer in Age, You May Consider Breaking the News to Them Together

 

Ideally, this is the best way to break the news to your children, but you will have to assess what is best for your family situation.  Breaking the news to your children all together will help them feel like you are treating all of them the same and not playing favoritism. 

 

Telling Your Children One at a Time

 

If your children are varied in age and maturity level or have any disabilities, it may be best to take the one-to-one approach.  By telling each child individually, it allows you to address their questions and concerns and it also allows you to tend to their emotional needs.

 

This is also helpful if you know that one child is way more emotional than the other.  There is no point to disrupt the other child who may be calm and then they may end up being overly emotional because of their sibling.

 

Have You Decided to File for Divorce in New York?

 

Contact Sabra Law Group today to schedule a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971 and start the divorce process.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do I Have Rights to Be Present During the Birth of My Child if the Mother Keeps Me Away?

Do I Have Rights to Be Present During the Birth of My Child if the Mother Keeps Me Away?

You have conceived a child with a woman that you are not married to at this time. Whether this pregnancy was planned or not, you want to have an active part in the process. However, the mother does not want you to be involved in the pregnancy or birth process.

Your question is, “Do I have rights to be present at the birth of my child”?

The Answer is No, You Do Not Have Rights to Be Present

Under the guidelines of the law, pregnancy is seen as a medical condition, and the woman who is giving birth has the right to privacy for the medical care for this condition. You cannot force or compel her to allow you to be present at the birth of your child.

However, once the baby is born, you do have parental rights. These rights give you the ability to bring a proceeding in court for visitation and other parental duties for the child. When you start a proceeding to enforce your rights, you will also have to establish paternity as well as a child support plan for that child.

Speak with An Experienced Attorney Focused on This Area of Law

Establishing parental rights under these circumstances can be challenging when one parent does not want to interact with the other. Parental rights will have to be established through paternity testing, and there will need to be legal documentation presented.

If you have found yourself in a position where you want to establish your paternity so that you can have an active part in your child's life, work with an attorney who focuses on family law.

Sabra Law Group Can Assist with Establishing Your Rights as the Child’s Father

The New York family law attorneys at Sabra Law Group can help you with this situation. They can help establish your rights and seek visitation rights for you with your child. Through mediation or direct legal action with the courts, Sabra Law Group will actively represent your rights as the child's father.

You may not have the legal right to be present at the birth of your child, but this does not mean you do not have the rights to be involved in their life. If you want to be actively involved in your child's life, speak with one of the attorneys at Sabra Law Group today. Call 646-742-7971 and find out everything Sabra Law Group can do for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                        

How to Help Your Kids Cope with Divorce During the Pandemic

Divorce during the pandemic

How to Help Your Kids Cope with Divorce During the Pandemic

For some children, dealing with divorce can be quite difficult, especially during the pandemic.

Children may not comprehend why their parents are getting divorced and they may even blame themselves.  It is natural for children to feel confused and scared about what is happening. Luckily, there are ways to help your kids cope with divorce during the pandemic.

Keep a Close Eye on Your Children During This Time

It is important to notice any changes with your children during this time.  Some things to watch for are mood swings, irritability, and acting out towards other siblings. 

It is also essential to watch for sadness or depression and address the problem early on.  If your child seems to be depressed or sad on a regular basis, it may be time to seek professional help.  A qualified therapist or counselor may be able to help your child work through their emotions. 

Some Tips to Help Your Kids Get Through This Time

Provide Them with Reassurance

Reassure your children that both parents will be there for them and that both parents love them.  Reassure them that even though some things will change, they will still be your #1 priority. 

It is also important to reassure them that the divorce has nothing to do with them and they should not feel guilty or blame themselves.

Be Consistent with Discipline

It is important to be consistent with disciplining your children.   Don’t stop disciplining them during the divorce process because it will only cause more problems in the long run.  If your children misbehave or act out, it is crucial to point out their bad behavior, so they do not repeat it.

Maintain a Healthy Relationship with Your Ex

Try to remain amicable when it comes to dealing with your soon-to-be-ex.  Be cautious of having difficult conversations when your children are present.  Sometimes children can be sneaky, and they can be hiding in the hallway listening in on your conversation, so always watch your tone. 

You Don’t Have to Do it Alone

Becoming a single parent can be a difficult transition but you don’t have to do it alone.  Ask for support from family and friends.  Furthermore, if you need additional support when it comes to your children, be open to seeking professional help.

Divorcing During the Pandemic?

Contact Sabra Law Group today for assistance with divorce and family law.  Call Sabra at (646) 472-7971 to schedule a confidential consultation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Going Through Divorce in Manhattan Doesn’t Have to Be Hard on Your Children

Going through a divorce can be one of the most challenging life events that you can go through. However, that does not mean that divorce has to be hard on your children, there are ways to make sure that your divorce can be easier on your children.

Communication with Your Children is Key 

Even though your primary instinct may be to protect your children from what is happening, it is also important that you're upfront and honest with them. No matter how old children are they can sense when something is not right between the family. 

One of the most important things you can do is to assure them that whatever is happening is not their fault and it has nothing to do with them and that nothing is going to change. 

Also reassure them that both parents love them very much and even if your family must split up, that your children will have access to both parents.

Be Respectful to Your Spouse (Especially in Front of Your Children)

You may have some bad feelings towards your soon-to-be ex-spouse or you may even despise them, but it is very important to be respectful to your spouse in front of your children. 

Not only is it important to be respectful in front of your children but also when your spouse is not around. What you say about your ex will be critical. Children are very sensitive, and you don't want to upset them or confuse them by bring up concepts and things that might be too much for them to take in. 

If you need someone to vent to, talk to a friend, or a counselor who can help.  Or seek the assistance of a Manhattan divorce mediator or litigator who can help you sort through the difficult issues in your divorce.

Make Time for Your Children 

You may be juggling being a single parent as well as a full-time job but remember it is important to make time for your children, they rely on you for that. Even if you have to take half a day off to make time to spend with your kids (consider doing that).  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget about what's important.

Consider Getting a Pet for Your Children and Family 

It is common for children to feel the loss of one of their parents when they are living with one parent; and not able to see the other on a consistent basis as they were used to day-to-day. You might want to consider getting them a dog or a cat so that it occupies their time, and it might be just what they need to keep them mentally occupied during this time.

Going Through a Divorce in Manhattan? 

Contact Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971 to discuss the best options for your divorce in New York. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can You Keep Your Ex-Spouse’s New Partner Away from Your Children? 

ChildrenWhether your divorce is finalized or not, it can be painful to hear that your former spouse has re-entered the dating pool. 

This may be especially troubling if you learn that your ex-spouse's new partner is frequently around your child or is actually babysitting during the former spouse's parenting time.

You'll probably be experiencing a mixture of emotions like hurt, anger and discomfort. After all, you may wonder what impact your ex-spouse's new partner may have on your child or simply feel uncomfortable with the idea that a stranger is helping to raise your child.

All of these feelings and concerns are valid and natural. However, in most cases the law says that is perfectly acceptable for a new partner to be around your kids. How is this possible?

It's because of the parenting time that your ex-spouse has been granted by law. If a parent is deemed competent by the courts to raise a child, this includes their ability to decide about whether or not it's appropriate to have a new boyfriend or girlfriend around the kids. 

While you may not be happy that your ex-spouse is moving on and you may dislike that the new partner is around your kids, it's best to proceed with caution. Judges in New York generally prefer to allow kids to have contact with both parents unless one of them is putting the child in danger. If you try to prevent your kid from spending time with your former spouse and their new partner, then your actions may be construed as interfering in the relationship between the parent and child.

However, if you suspect that your child is being abused or neglected while in the care of the other parent, including while in the care of the new partner, then you have every right to seek legal recourse. This includes situations in which the new partner has issues with drugs or alcohol, is impaired by a mental health issue or is violent or abusive.

If you believe that your former spouse's boyfriend or girlfriend is harming, abusing or neglecting your child, then it is wise to immediately consult with a family law attorney. The courts will protect children who are in abusive and neglectful situations, even if it means limiting or terminating the parent-child relationship. 

If you have concerns about your ex-spouse's new partner, then contact the Sabra Law Group today at 646-472-7971.

 

 

 

 

How to Handle Child Custody During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Child Custody During the COVID-19 PandemicCo-parenting and child custody can already be challenging but when you couple that with the COVID-19 Pandemic, it takes stress and uncertainty to a whole other level.

 

So much has changed because of the pandemic.  Most day-care facilities remain closed, forcing parents to quit their jobs or take on the additional responsibilities of having to parent and work from home with no outside assistance.  Many schools are still doing homeschool for the safety of the children and educational staff. What many parents are realizing is that what previously worked or was put in place regarding child custody no longer makes sense.  For many parents, it’s time to re-evaluate child custody and parenting and modify existing child custody orders/plans.

 

Questions About Child Custody During the COVID-19 Pandemic?

 

Are you wondering if you still have to comply with the custody schedule and order that was in place prior to the pandemic? The short answer is “yes”, however; any deviations made must be based on the best interest of your children.  Because the COVID-19 Pandemic has put many travel restrictions on the public as well as state to state quarantine restrictions, traveling out of state to see your child may not be feasible.  Instead of seeing your child in person, you may have to modify the order to be able to have video chats instead or if you are able to travel, to have an extended duration with your child in an effort to minimize the back and forth.

 

Another valid concern that many parents are having is the worry of exposing their child to COVID-19 at the other parent’s home if that parent works in a setting that makes it easier to contract the virus.  If you have genuine concerns about the safety of your child, then it is best to communicate that to your ex and figure out an alternative game plan.  In all fairness though, do not use the pandemic as an excuse to keep your child from your ex. 

 

Another option is to discuss a temporary agreement that revolves around the new nuisances that the COVID-19 Pandemic has brought upon.  If you are able to discuss a temporary agreement and come to an agreement, then it is important to also put the stipulations in writing.

 

If you are not able to come to amicable terms on your own, then it may be time to consider getting a New York Divorce Mediation Attorney involved who can help you both come up with a temporary agreement that best meets the needs of your child or children.  Even with the assistance of a mediation lawyer, it is essential to be flexible and accommodating with your ex-spouse when it comes to child custody.

 

Contact Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971 for assistance with handling child custody during the COVID-19 Pandemic. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Handle Co-Parenting and Child Custody During the COVID-19 Pandemic

 

COVID-19 pandemicEven prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, parenting was a challenge for separated or divorced couples; now with the COVID-19 pandemic, it is even more difficult to navigate.

 

There are some guidelines that you can follow to alleviate the struggles of parenting during this unprecedented time. 

 

Even though the majority of parents may find themselves in a situation where the child custody schedules were already determined, it helps to be more flexible during this time.

 

What it Means to Be More Flexible

 

The COVID-19 pandemic presents new situations and stressors that definitely have to be considered.  There are now remote work situations, remote learning/school, and the fact that families have to struggle to juggle it all (without access to daycare).  At a time like this, both parents need to be flexible when following the parenting plan/schedule as what worked in the past will no longer suffice.

 

Be Understanding of Financial Situations

 

Many families are facing financial challenges that come with losing their job or being laid off from work or even reduced hours.  Even the inability to work because you now have to take care of your children can hinder the opportunity to make money.  This is why it is so important to be empathetic and understanding of your spouse or ex-spouses’ situation.  Do not use this time to be petty or make the other person frustrated.  It is best to find a way to be more accommodating and flexible for the sake of your children.

 

Use This Time as a Learning Opportunity

 

Set a good example for your children by tactfully mastering the art of conflict resolution.   In life, there will certainly be adversity and challenges; but what’s more important is teaching your kids how to handle roadblocks.  Children always look up to their parents as role models, so remember to put your best foot forward even during the most stressful times.

 

Even if both parents are keen to cooperate with each other, there will always be unforeseen challenges to deal with.  There is a lot of uncertainty during the COVID-19 pandemic; therefore, it is best to focus on what we can control. 

 

Certain stressful situations will always arise, but we can control how we react to these situations.  Children are quite sensitive and can feel the negative energy between parents, so it is best to keep calm when it’s time to handle conflict with your spouse/ex-spouse.

 

Contact Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.  

 

 

 

 

 

How to Tackle the Biggest Divorce Challenge: Telling Your Children About Divorce

telling children about divorce

Telling your children about divorce is one of the most difficult situations to be put in; the hardest part is initially breaking the news of divorce to your children.

 

Follow the 5 tips below on telling your children about divorce

 

  1. Carefully determine what you will say to your children:  it is essential to prepare for the divorce conversation prior to having it with your children.  Get out your notebook or laptop and write your thoughts out so you can visually see them.  Once you have gotten all of your thoughts on paper or a notepad on your computer, determine what the most important key points are and make a separate list.  Make sure that you can create a script that also produces a nurturing environment for your children.  Anticipate what questions your children may have and write down all possible scenarios with possible answers.
  2. Convey that the divorce has nothing to do with them:  this is one of the most important things that you can communicate with your children.  Children (especially young children), often think that they did something to cause the divorce or break up the family; this is why it is so essential to ask your children how they are feeling and ensure that they do not have any feelings of self-blame.
  3. Be prepared for any type of reaction from your children:  sometimes children will show their reactions immediately, and sometimes, children may display a delayed reaction; it is important to recognize delayed reactions when they do happen.  If you notice your children acting out or becoming distant or appearing depressed, it is best to sit down with your children and have a talk.  Once you can get to the bottom of their emotions and feelings, you need to determine if this is something you can help them get through or if you need to get professional help.  Do not hesitate to take your children to a therapist or counselor if necessary.
  4. Don’t shock your children: if your children are old enough to understand that there may be an existing issue with your marriage, then you can be upfront with them, however; if your children are either too young to understand or have no idea that your marriage is on the rocks, it is best to give some idea prior to having “the divorce” discussion.  Children are more likely to handle it better if they have some idea that there is already a problem.
  5. Provide reassurance:  reassure your children that you love them and that they will always come first and that the marriage not working out has nothing to do with them.  Let them know that they will still get to see both parents and that if there will be a change in where they reside that you will do your best to communicate that to them in advance and take their preferences into consideration. 

 

Telling Your Children About Divorce is Never Easy

 

If you need assistance in any divorce matters that involve your children (such as coming up with a child custody arrangement that puts your children first), contact Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971.