Relationships

3 Reasons Why People Are Scared to Get Divorced and Put it Off

DivorcedDivorce attorneys frequently discover that their clients have remained in bad marriages, sometimes for decades, because they fear the dissolution of the union. This fear may have its roots in many causes, but there are three that seem to surface most often.

However, a well-drafted prenup is one of the best ways to allay many of the fears that are associated with getting divorced.

1. Fear of Reputational Damage

In some circles, divorce remains taboo. Some people stay in a miserable marriage because they don't want to admit that they may have made a mistake. They see the ending of their relationship as proof that they are fallible.

These people are concerned about how others may perceive the dissolution. While some are worried about the kids, others are more concerned with their parents, siblings or other family members. Still, others think that their clergyman, boss or employees are ready to criticize or gloat over their personal problems.

The reality is that divorce is common. With a prenup in place, it's possible to dissolve a marriage with dignity, decorum, tact and a minimum of fuss. The mature resolution of one of your most intimate relationships may improve your reputation in the eyes of others, and you'll certainly appreciate how much better you feel about yourself.

2. Fear of Losing Money and Assets

Many states follow a rule that says that all marital property must be divided equitably or equally between the parties in a divorce. This may seem fair, but the idea of walking away from your marriage at half your marital worth feels unfathomable to one spouse, or they fear that their former partner will get what they see as an unfair portion.

A prenuptial agreement solves such problems before they arise by laying out a fair division of income and assets. With a prenup, there's no need to wrangle over money.

3. Fear of Losing the Family Home

Couples put enormous time, money and effort into their homes. Neither one wants to walk away empty-handed in a divorce, and they could spend months fighting over who gets the home or how the proceeds of a sale should be divided. However, couples who agree to a prenup before tying the knot don't have to worry because they have already decided who gets the house or how the proceeds of the sale will be shared.

If you're considering getting divorced (whether you have a prenup in place or not), contact Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to schedule your complimentary Discovery Call.

Learning How to Love After Divorce

Love After Divorce Divorce is among the most stressful life changes. It's easy to see why. A divorce can mean uprooting or shifting everything you know about your life. Naturally, you'll find yourself thinking that nothing will ever be the same.

This may be true, but it isn't necessarily a bad thing. While divorce marks an ending, it also marks a new beginning. Part of that new beginning may mean finding love after divorce.

If you're recently divorced or are in the process, then contemplating falling in love again may seem impossible. More than one divorcing or recently divorced person has sworn "never again" and believed it.

However, the reality is that most people do give love another shot. They do it because they realize that they've changed and because they recognize that not everyone out there is exactly like their ex.

How do they get to that point? It may be that they follow these tips for learning to love after divorce.

Take Your Time

There's no set timeline for getting over one relationship and moving on to the next. Some people immediately hop into a new romance while other people need months or years before feeling ready. The amount of time that passes from the end of one relationship until the beginning of the next doesn't really matter.

What does matter is that you are genuinely over your ex and everything entailed by that relationship before devoting yourself to someone new. You owe it to yourself and your new love to be wholly available and ready to move forward.

Protect Yourself Emotionally

Try not to jump into a new relationship too quickly. Take things slowly, and let them develop naturally. You don't have to be in a hurry. You're much more likely to find a deep, meaningful connection when you resist getting too emotionally involved too fast. Keep things casual and fun as you test the dating waters.

Protect Yourself Financially

If you have found love again and are ready to dive into a commitment, then it's worth considering the financial ramifications. Chances are good that you have more assets now than you did the first time you tied the knot. If your new spouse-to-be ends up being more financially irresponsible than you'd like, it's wise to protect yourself financially.

A prenuptial agreement is a great way to accomplish this. Contact the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to learn more.

How to Ensure That Your Communication Style is a Win-Win for Your Marriage

Communication StyleEffective communication is the hallmark of every successful marriage. In fact, if you want to have a win-win marriage, then it is vital for you and your partner to identify your communication style and make any adjustments that may be necessary.

Experts agree that when it comes to communication style, there are four main types. These are Passive, Aggressive, Passive-Aggressive and Assertive. Studies suggest that it is only when both parties in a marriage use the Assertive communication style that true intimacy can be achieved. These marriages tend to last longer and be more satisfying and successful.

The Passive style of communication is characterized by an unwillingness to share thoughts and feelings. Low self-esteem may be behind this tendency, but it sometimes comes from a desire to avoid hurting the feelings of others or to prevent criticism. 

At the opposite extreme is the Aggressive style. This means that at least one of the partners is prone to casting blame on others and making accusations. Aggressive communicators also tend to over-generalize with terms like "always" and "never." People who communicate in this manner may feel threatened or be reacting to negative thoughts and feelings. A tendency to focus on personal characteristics as opposed to the situation further is typical.

The Passive-Aggressive communicator relies on both of these styles. To their partner, they appear entirely passive. Their feelings and thoughts go unexpressed in a one-on-one dialogue with their spouse. However, all of those pent-up feelings come out when the Passive-Aggressive communicator is talking with friends or family. Meanwhile, the spouse is unaware that there are any problems requiring resolution.

Assertive communicators are different in that they communicate thoughts and feelings in a healthy and non-defensive manner. They are open to their partner's viewpoint, and they place a premium on remaining respectful. This type of communicator doesn't deny their feelings. Moreover, when there is a problem, they tend to focus on the issue rather than on the personalities involved. When one partner uses Assertive communication, this encourages the other to do the same. The result is increased intimacy and a healthier overall relationship in which no one's needs are being ignored.

If your efforts to build a win-win marriage are proving fruitless, call the Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971. These experienced legal professionals believe in a collaborative divorce process that puts the well-being of your entire family at the forefront of the proceedings.

How Good Communication Skills Can Help You Have a Healthy Marriage

Healthy Marriage Good communication skills are vital to a healthy marriage, and they are something that can be cultivated over time. Anyone can work towards effective communication, and marriage is no exception. There are tools and exercises to help you achieve that goal as a couple, and you can also work with a licensed therapist to make sure that you are putting those principles into practice for a healthy marriage. 

Tackling the Major Issues Without Procrastination

One of the most fundamental things to understand about good communication skills in a marriage is that they are impossible to develop without tackling serious issues that present problems in a marriage. When communication is not healthy in a marriage, the tendency is for each partner to ignore the most pressing issues for fear that they are going to create an explosive situation to deal with. Delaying the expression of those feelings with your partner only builds resentment allows small issues to escalate into larger ones over time. 

A good starting place is to make a list of the topics and issues that you have avoided sharing with your partner over a significant amount of time. Having them written down will allow you to realize just how many issues have been piling up. 

Sharing Private Feelings in Productive Ways

Finding a loving way to share your most intimate feelings can be overwhelming when you are carrying significant resentment and frustration. While you cannot control your partner's feelings or reactions, you can control your delivery of issues and feelings to be discussed. Frame the discussion from your point of view, and acknowledge that you are sharing your own perspective on things that have developed within your marriage without assuming what your partner might think or feel about the issues that you present. 

Exploring Mediation for Your New York Divorce

If you are not able to work together towards a healthy marriage, and if marital therapy isn’t helpful, some of our clients have found benefit in communicating together in a mediation setting.  Call attorney Sabra Sasson at 646-472-7971 today to find out how the mediation process can help you.  Or click here to schedule a complimentary call https://my.timetrade.com/book/V6T7J

 

How to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage

Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage

 

The euphoria of new love is all-consuming. However, if the relationship persists over the long term, the euphoria doesn't last. Reality sets in. Both partners begin to feel that they don't want to spend every moment together, and they start recognizing flaws in each other and the relationship. 

These changes are natural. If the couple remains committed to the relationship, there's little reason why it can't succeed over many years. Nonetheless, many couples would love to recapture some of that early magic. For those of you who have been wondering how to keep the spark alive in your marriage, you may find that communication is the answer. 

One key to better communication is to simply put down your cell phone. Whether you are at home, dining at a restaurant or driving somewhere, this is an opportunity to talk and reconnect with your spouse. Don't spend it checking Facebook or playing a game when you have a chance to enjoy a real conversation with the person you love the most. 

While it is always a good idea to make a point of saying "I love you," other words of love and encouragement can mean just as much. Tell your partner that you're proud of him or let her know that she means the world to you. These little phrases can make a big difference, and they give your partner a warm, fuzzy feeling. 

Keeping the spark alive in your marriage also may involve doing things socially as a couple. Being out with a group of friends, acquaintances or colleagues gives you a chance to see a different side of your partner. Admire the way that they interact with others, and let them know about your reaction at the end of the night. It's a wonderful way to show that you appreciate your partner's many facets. 

Also, try to set aside one night a week for date night. Make it an opportunity to try new things or revisit old favorites that you enjoyed while dating. These shared experiences and opportunities for intimacy are invaluable in a relationship. 

If you are no longer concerned with keeping the spark alive in your marriage and instead seek a healthy path forward to the dissolution of your partnership, contact the Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971. With a focus on mediation to resolve differences, these legal professionals have helped many families heal and move on with optimism.

 

Keys to a Lasting Marriage: Win-Win Communication in Your Marriage

Win-Win Communication

 

Communication is the cornerstone of relationships, both personal and professional. The way that people communicate with their partners and their children reveals much about the value they place on those relationships. 

When you are having a conversation with someone that you love, do you really stop and listen? That means taking your focus away from other things like washing the dishes or finishing the taxes so that you can really focus on what your loved one is saying to you. 

Too often, communication between partners and between parents and children gets taken for granted. A busy schedule leads to multi-tasking, which means it's not possible to be truly present for a conversation. 

Many psychologists and counselors believe that a lasting marriage depends upon healthy communication. In fact, they may refer to this as win-win communication, meaning that both participants benefit from the conversation. This doesn't always mean that you get everything you want, but it does mean that you are heard and that your position is clear. Moreover, it means that your partner has been heard and understood as well. 

Whether you are devoted to building a lasting marriage or want to craft a healthier relationship with your ex-partner, it's helpful to spend some time reflecting on how you communicate with each other. Do you truly focus on the speaker and try to appreciate what they are saying or are you distracted by coming up with a reply? If your answer is the latter one, then it's time to slow down and really listen. 

Try to be as "in the moment" as you can, limiting distractions and keeping your mind from wandering to other topics. Consider limited use of reflecting back to the speaker what you heard, as this can help to clear up misunderstandings as well as provide the initial speaker with an opportunity to clarify their meaning. 

Additionally, pay close attention to non-verbal cues, both your own and your partner's tone of voice can reveal a great deal about the emotional state of the speaker and so can the way they are standing. Are they closed off with folded arms or do they look comfortable and relaxed? This can help you to formulate a more thoughtful and meaningful response. 

Contact Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to get more tips and “scripts” about win-win communication whether you are considering divorce, are already separated or are deep into the divorce process.

Consider a Prenup While Celebrating Love This Valentine’s Day

Prenup in New York In the heady first weeks and months of a romance, it's easy to have blind faith in love with your chosen partner. Falling in love and discussing the exciting details of your future together is a lot of fun.  It may never occur to you that someday you might need mediation in New York as you negotiate a painful divorce.  

None of this is meant to discourage you from celebrating love this Valentine's Day. On the contrary, love can be one of life's most fascinating, meaningful and rewarding journeys. It is the foundation upon which new families are built, and it has the power to utterly change your life. 

Nonetheless, life is a difficult and ever-changing process. Individuals change with it. In some cases, the two people who make a marriage are able to accommodate and adapt to the changes in the other, but this is not possible in all situations. Love can keep people together regardless of life’s ups and downs.  For others, the unromantic parts of marriage and life, in general, can sabotage and destroy what was a loving partnership.

When things begin to go wrong in a marriage or long-term partnership, things can deteriorate quickly. What used to feel like a blessed and magical union now is fraught with pain, anger, and frustration. Couples who used to agree about most things now fight over inconsequential matters, and when it comes to bigger things like assets and property, it's not unusual for both of the former partners to vow to fight to the death to see things distributed their way. 

Is there anything that couples can do today so that they can sustain a life-long and everlasting romance that withstands the tests of time?

The more authentic and upfront you are about your intentions and visions of a future together, the more likely it is to create the foundation for a lasting marriage. Even though we want to believe that “love is all you need” and “all you need is love” to have an enduring and lasting marriage, it is essential to have open and honest communication about all aspects of your marriage.  One of the vehicles that can help couples to create the right foundation for such communication is through pre-marriage meetings and consultations with clergy or other professionals.  Another vehicle is a rational, well-thought-out prenuptial agreement whereby you can talk about and discuss how you will manage your finances together.

Many couples have the misconception that by simply maintaining all of their financial accounts separately, that the other spouse cannot make any claims to it in the event the relationship doesn’t work out.

That’s why talking with an experienced prenuptial attorney in your state can help you create the right plan for you and the future family you plan to create, and it will become the blueprint making it possible to have a cleaner, less painful break -up in the future. 

Prenups can be as complex or as straightforward as the parties wish. Those with considerable assets or business interests will want to ensure that these are protected, and people who have children from prior relationships may want to guarantee that their children receive proper consideration and care regardless of what happens in the future. 

It may even be possible to include agreements to deal with one another amicably in a mediation in New York in the event the couple decides to separate. Mediation is the low-cost, less acrimonious process by which many decisions pertaining to divorce may be made. Mediation is one way to demonstrate love and respect for your entire family during a particularly difficult time so that you all may begin healing sooner. 

Consider a Prenup to Protect You, Your Partner and Your Future

If you are celebrating love this Valentine's Day by getting engaged, while your heart may be in the clouds, don't lose your head too. A sensible prenup protects you, your partner and any children that you may have. Contact the Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971 to discover your options.

How to Bring Up a Prenup When Getting Engaged During the Holidays

Engaged During the HolidaysMany people decide that the holiday season is the ideal time to get engaged.  The particular holiday doesn’t really matter, it could be on Hanukah, Christmas, or New Year’s Eve.  What matters is how do you bring up the sensitive topic of a “Prenuptial Agreement” during the holiday season. 

 

It is to be expected that people want the holiday season to be full of joy and as stress-free as possible.  This is why the thought of bringing up a Prenup can definitely cause some anxiety. 

 

Follow the Five Steps Below to Bring Up a Prenup When Getting Engaged During the Holiday Season:

 

  1. Make a list: write down all the reasons why it makes sense to get a Prenup and why it would be beneficial to both of you.  Furthermore, on a separate piece of paper write down what objections you anticipate your fiancée may have. 
  2. Provide reassurance:  that a Prenup is not necessarily a bad thing and that it is meant to protect the financial future of both spouses.
  3. Encourage open communication:  open communication means that you encourage your partner to be honest about their feelings and that you genuinely listen to them (without judgment). 
  4. Timing is key:  It is advisable not to bring up the Prenup conversation on an actual holiday or when either of you are stressed about other matters or have had a rough day at work.  And when you do talk about it, it is a good idea to discuss this topic at a neutral place – like a coffee shop or sitting on a bench at the park, but not your home, favorite restaurant or other “special” place that has meaning for the two of you.
  5. Talking about a prenuptial agreement is always better sooner rather than later.  For instance, if you haven’t talked about it while you were dating, then talking about it now is a good time.  Explore conversations that would be “hypothetical” in nature but allow both of you to openly discuss what would happen if you ever were to split up.  Who would get the house, who would get the family pet?  Who would get the investment properties?  This process allows the both of you to start thinking about the importance of a Prenup and hopefully come to terms with the idea of developing a Prenup to protect each other’s financial well-being in the event of a future breakup. 

 

If you have questions about a Prenup agreement in New York or any other family law related matters, contact Sabra Divorce Law today to schedule a consultation at (646) 472-7971. 

Understanding a Domestic Partnership Agreement in New York

Domestic Partnership Agreement in New YorkIf the two people agree on living together or agree to have a domestic partnership in New York, then it is totally legal and confirmed. With a lot of benefits, Domestic Partnership Agreement stands in favor of the confirmed status of the relationship between the two and lets them enjoy the legal benefits of a married couple including health insurance, without any hurdles. No matter if you are of the same or opposite gender, New York lets you have the domestic partnership in the most feasible way. You can easily apply for an application process of Domestic Partnership Agreement in New York.

It is mandatory to meet certain qualifications in New York for Domestic Partnership. So, understanding what it actually means to be with your partner without marriage is a major life event to fully understand and analyze the further circumstances.

Requirements of Domestic Partnership Agreement in New York

Before you agree on the cause, you need to have the following requirements of age, residence and personal history:

  • You and your partner should belong to the same city/country in which you are applying for the Domestic Partnership Agreement. A condition for one of the partners being an employee in the city and not the resident is somehow acceptable in Rockland County and Suffolk County of New York.  In addition to that, cities like Albany, Ithaca and Rochester allow you to live together without even being the resident of the same.
  • If you and your partner are 18 years of age and older, then you are legally allowed to live together.
  • Blood relations between the two are not entertained.
  • To enter into a domestic partnership agreement, neither you nor your partner can be currently married (to each other or anyone else) or related by blood
  • You are allowed to opt for a domestic partnership if you and your partner are living together on a continuous basis or at least 6 months.
  • Also, if you or your partner is in a domestic partnership with someone else in the past 6 months, you need to live together for 6 consecutive months prior to filing the agreement of domestic partnership.

 

In order to proceed further, an affidavit needs to be executed to meet the legal requirements of being in a Domestic Partnership. Both partners are required to be physically present at the clerk’s office while applying for the agreement.

 

Contact Sabra Law Group today at 646-472-7971 if you need assistance with a domestic partnership agreement or any other matters related to family law. 

 

It Takes More Than Love to Get to Marriage

MarriageEven though love may be a great foundation for marriage, love alone is never enough.  A couple must have more than just love to get to the point of getting engaged then married and staying married.

 

5 Tips On What is Necessary to Get to Marriage

 

  1. Faithful:  a couple must remain faithful to each other in order to progress the relationship.  If one partner cheats on the other, it can put the relationship back a few steps.  Furthermore, it can even cause the relationship to end abruptly.  There are some couples who engage in polyamory and those relationships can last so long as they are clear about their boundaries and remain faithful to them.
  2. The ability to communicate openly:  open communication is essential in any good relationship and is the foundation of a healthy partnership.  Communication is often challenging for most people and clarity of communication is key.  Taking the time to learn how you each communicate and truly understand each other is vital to the durability of the relationship.
  3. Accept your partner for who they are:  do not try to change your partner as it is highly unlikely that your partner will change.  The only way they may change is if comes from within their own decision to make some changes.  Realize that the person you are with has their own habits, belief systems and mannerisms and that is what makes them unique.  Look for the positives instead of the negatives in your partner and focus on those.
  4. Respect each other:  respect is so important in a romantic relationship.  It is important to be aware of not intentionally hurting your partner or displacing behavior that is disrespectful to them.  This can include flirting in front of them (or even behind their back), ignoring them, making them feel uncomfortable in front of your friends.
  5. Patience is key:  patience is very important when it comes to relationships.  There will be times when your partner will test you and you may lose your patience with them.  There will also be times when you want to give up on them when the going gets tough, however, it is important to realize that relationships take work and commitment.  So avoid even considering bailing at the first sign of trouble. Nobody ever said relationships were easy.  Invest in the relationship by committing to be patient when things don’t go your way and communicate your desires with your partner.

 

Remember, love is a verb and loving your partner requires constant effort on your part through faith, communication, acceptance, respect and patience. 

 

If you have followed these steps and are currently engaged, consult a New York Prenup attorney to determine how to set up the right foundation for a secure future for you and your future children.  Contact Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971.