Divorce Mediation

How to Have a Healthy and Harmonious Divorce

harmonious divorceThe first step to having a healthy and harmonious divorce is to determine if you are ready for divorce.  Being ready for divorce involves being emotionally ready as well as preparedness.

When you are making the decision to divorce, it should be based on more than a one-off incident.  Getting divorced is a major life decision and it should be treated with caution and consideration. 

 

Below is a 5 Step Process You Can Follow to Have a Smooth Divorce

 

  1. Consult a knowledgeable New York Divorce Attorney to determine what your rights are as well as your obligations.  A family law attorney can guide you on how to best handle divorcing when children or assets are involved.
  2. Change your passwords:  it is essential to protect your privacy during this time and the best way to do this is to change your passwords to make sure your spouse doesn’t have access to your email, social media, individual bank or investment accounts, phone records, credit card bills, or voicemail.  It is also important to be cognizant of video cameras at home that are normally used for home security purposes but can also be used to eavesdrop on your conversations if you are not careful. If you don’t have the privacy you need at home and are unable to go to your office because of the pandemic; opt for sitting in your car to have that private conversation with your best friend or attorney.
  3. Start gathering important documents:  gathering the necessary documents will make the whole divorce process go smoother and faster.  You should start gathering your tax returns, bank account and retirement statements, credit card statements, and insurance policies.  Additionally, if you have any joint real estate ventures, you should gather that information as well.
  4. Be the better person:  handle matters in a dignified and graceful manner.  Divorce can instill anger and resentment, however; it is important to keep your composure and remember that how you act or react will also impact your children for years to come.  Stay calm and choose your words and actions carefully. 
  5. Team up to be there for your children:  if you have children, your children will have questions and concerns about the divorce.  It is important to be there for your children as a team; both parents should be present in-person when breaking the news of divorce to children.  Once you have collectively had a conversation with your children, then work on creating a parenting plan that has the best interest of your children. 

 

Even if you have only started on this list, contact an attorney who has your and your family’s best interests in mind and to ensure that when the details are worked out, that the proper paperwork can be prepared and filed properly.  An attorney at Sabra Law Group, PLLC will help you get started right away. We can be reached at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a Way to Have a Simpler Divorce in New York

simpler divorce in New YorkHow long does it take to get divorced? If you follow celebrity gossip, then you may have the impression that getting divorced requires months, if not years, of legal wrangling.

At the end of the process, both parties are physically, emotionally, and financially exhausted.

Unfortunately, it's not only celebrities who get stuck in a seemingly endless and painful divorce process. It also happens to ordinary families.

This is always sad because it is possible to get a simpler divorce in New York. In fact, an easier divorce process is available to anyone, and it can be achieved through mediation.

It isn't necessary to be rich or perfect to take advantage of mediation. All that's needed is the right mindset.

This means focusing on the things that really matter. For you, that may be the well-being of your children or your own personal health. Perhaps you're choosing to turn your thoughts to a brighter future in a new city or with a new career or by furthering your education.

Whatever your priorities are, it's worthwhile to focus on these healthy, hopeful things rather than looking back at the past and staying mired in the disagreements and arguments of yesterday.

This gives you all of the incentive that you need to enter mediation with the right mindset. When your focus is on your family's well-being and the future, you'll find that you're more willing to compromise, negotiate, and get creative when it comes to settling your divorce.

Accordingly, you'll be less likely to insist on litigation or asking a judge to decide important, private matters on your behalf. This is the key to having a simpler divorce in New York. You will not only forego numerous court dates, each of which may be scheduled months apart but also have a personal hand in critical decisions relating to child custody and support as well as the division of assets.

Moreover, mediation is the far less expensive way to approach divorce. With fewer court dates, fewer court filings, and less time spent with an attorney, more of your family's assets will remain intact so that you can use them to improve your future.

With all of these positive things to recommend it, why wouldn't you choose to mediate your divorce?

If you would like to learn more about how to get a simpler divorce in New York, contact the Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

Why Keeping Your Divorce Out of Court Can Save You Time and Money 

Out of Court Too frequently, people assume that the only way to complete divorce proceedings is in court. They envision numerous court dates in which all the details of their divorce are argued over and decided.

This perception may prevail in divorces that are relatively amicable and in those that are filled with animosity. However, court proceedings don't have to be the order of the day when a couple is looking to go their separate ways.

Mediation is a much more cost-effective and efficient manner to end a marriage. Contrary to popular belief, it's not necessary to have a judge make critical decisions for your family. You and your former partner have the power to make these decisions, and that tends to lead to better solutions for the entire family.

Through mediation, it's possible to negotiate all facets of your divorce. This even includes the hot-button issues like child custody, child support and alimony. The division of property and assets also can be decided out of court without a judge ever having to make a decree.

When you and your former partner agree to mediate instead of litigate, you are potentially saving yourselves tens of thousands of dollars. This is not only because legal services in courtroom divorce proceedings are expensive but also because court filings and court dates cost money as well.

Moreover, when you litigate a divorce, many of the proceedings happen on the court's schedule. It's probably not surprising to hear that court dockets are pretty crowded, and that judges sometimes take vacations. All of this means that it could be months or even a year or two before the court can get around to hearing your divorce.

It's also worth noting that one court appearance may not be enough to settle the issues in your divorce. This means that you'll have to schedule a later court date. How many months down the road will that be?

When you resolve to keep your divorce out of court, you are making a decision that's healthy and financially responsible for the whole family. Mediation may enable your divorce to be settled within just a few weeks or months and at far less expense than court proceedings. The outcome is that you get to move forward with your new life sooner.

If you want to save time and money by keeping your divorce out of court, then contact the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971.

 

 

 

 

 

Why Getting Divorced is Better Than Being in a Bad Marriage

getting divorcedMost people who come to the realization that they are unhappily married have agonized over whether or not getting divorced is the right option.

It's a good idea to look for alternatives to divorce, like going to couples counseling or communication classes, before making a decision. Even then, some people aren't convinced. They'd rather stick with the devil they know and whatever measure of security they have than brave the unknown.

However, there are reasons why getting a divorce makes much more sense than staying in an unhealthy and unfulfilling marriage.

Consider how getting divorced might free up your energy and focus, for happier things. How much time do you spend trying to salvage your relationship or fuming over what your spouse just said or did…again? Copious amounts of thought and energy go into trying to maintain a relationship, and those amounts are doubled when you don't feel like your partner is meeting you halfway.

When you're out of that relationship, you can pour your time and attention into your kids, career, hobbies, goals and a host of other relationships. In fact, your marriage might be stifling your growth as well as your partner's. It's even worth considering that trying to stay in your marriage is preventing you from meeting the partner that you deserve.

In most cases, it is better for children if their parents’ divorce rather than struggle to stay married. While having divorced parents isn't ideal, it is less stressful than growing up in a household that is tainted by constant hostility and negativity. Divorce may give you an opportunity to forge a healthier, more positive relationship with your former spouse, which means that you're modeling a good relationship for your kids.

Keep in mind that a divorce provides you with a new lease on life. Perhaps you'll finally go back to school or have more time to devote to your career. You'll even enjoy more "me" time that allows you to go to the spa, play more golf, take long soaks in the tub or spend more quality time with friends and family.

Remember that while divorce is initially painful, sometimes devastatingly so, many people are able to refocus their life and energy, which means that they emerge from the process stronger than before.

If you'd like to learn more about just how healthy getting divorced can be, particularly if you can do it quickly and relatively amicably, then contact the Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971 or click here to schedule your complimentary Discovery Session.

 

 

 

How to Avoid Quarantine Quarrels with Your Mate

Quarantine QuarrelsWhile we all find ourselves practicing “social distancing” and under “stay at home” orders during the COVID19 pandemic, many couples are finding themselves confined to cohabitating in tight spaces 24 hours a day in an apartment, condo or home. 

 

For many people who normally work from an office, they are not really prepared to suddenly have to work from home.  In addition to suddenly having to work from home when your mate is there 24/7 as well as your kids, inevitably tensions will rise and “quarantine quarrels” to occur!  So, how can you manage to juggle this new way of life and avoid “quarantine quarrels” with your mate?

 

Follow the Tips Below to Avoid Quarantine Quarrels with Your Mate

 

  1. Designate a separate room to work in, if you can.  If you don’t have access to an additional room, then designate one particular area in your apartment or house to work from.  One thing that will drive your mate crazy is if you are all over the house on a work call and this prevents them from being able to use the kitchen or watch tv or work on your own business/job.  Please be respectful of your mate and limit working to your own area and clean up after yourself.

 

  1. It is imperative to set boundaries with your children and your mate.  You must make it clear that just because you are home does not mean you are available for constant interruptions throughout the day.  Instead, set up certain times during the day when your family knows that they can talk to you whether it be during your lunch break, afternoon break or after you are done with your workday.

 

  1. Agree to disagree with each other.  Realize that you will not agree with everything…and that is okay.  Instead of turning disagreements into full-blown arguments, agree that your mate is entitled to his/her opinion and you are entitled to your own.

 

  1. Take time out for self-care.  At a time like this, it is very important to take care of yourself and make time for the things that help you unwind and relax.  Whether that means getting out of the house and taking a walk or connecting with your friends via Zoom for a virtual happy hour or having a spa day at home – do it!

 

  1. If you do get into an argument, do not immediately resort to saying hurtful things that you will regret later; instead, take a moment to calmly collect your thoughts before responding.   By doing this, it will allow you to not make any rash decisions while you are in the heat of the moment. It is even okay to say, “can we continue this conversation” after work hours (which hopefully will allow both parties to calm down).

 

If this quarantine has pushed you to your limits and you have realized that you may need professional assistance, contact Sabra Law Group to schedule a remote conflict resolution appointment by calling (646) 472-7971. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

COVID-19 Will Impact How Attorneys and Courts Handle Business in New York

Courts During COVID-19COVID-19 has turned life upside down in the U.S. and around the world. With all of the upheaval and uncertainty, everyday concerns tend to get lost in the shuffle. Still, for those families who are dealing with life's major events like marriage, divorce, custody, and visitation, it can be especially hard to know what to do.

Fortunately, attorneys and courts in New York are taking steps to ensure that essential functions continue to operate as normally as possible. In-person meetings may not be available, but most lawyers and even some courts are conducting virtual meetings and proceedings to ensure that important matters do not get overlooked or forgotten.

Getting married has gotten more complicated, but that doesn't necessarily make it impossible. If a couple already has their license, it is still possible to proceed with the ceremony. However, the size of the gathering will be severely limited, and some couples are opting to have their guests attend virtually.

Postponing the event also is a possibility. If you have already signed contracts with vendors and venues, then it may be worth consulting with an attorney to determine what kind of latitude your existing contract grants.

What if you just got engaged and you want to enter into a prenup? Your attorney can meet with you on the phone or virtually to discuss the terms of the agreement, and a draft can be forwarded to you via email for review. It's even possible to execute a prenuptial agreement during the quarantine, as these documents can be signed with virtual notaries in New York State.

Questions of child custody and visitation are already complex, but COVID-19 has only made things worse. Fortunately, jurisdictions such as New York City are now using virtual operations to conduct family court proceedings. This means that critical decisions can still be rendered.

What if your child is quarantined in the custodial parent's home? Or while in the non-custodial parent’s care and custody? How will you, as co-parents, navigate this new temporary world we are all living in?  While each parent has custodial, access and visitation rights, the courts cannot compel the other parent to allow you (if you are not the one in quarantine) into their home. What alternative arrangements can you both make to accommodate the need of the child to have time with both parents?  Consider additional contact through telephone and video chat applications such as FaceTime and WhatsApp.  When you cannot work it out together, consult with a family law attorney who can provide you with the information that you need so that you can maintain contact with your children.

Contact the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 for more information about how attorneys and courts in New York are reacting to the Coronavirus pandemic.

 

How to Cope With Staying Together Because of COVID-19

Staying Together COVID-19 is forcing families around the world to change their definition of "togetherness." This concept is one that can be particularly challenging if it comes at a moment when spouses are considering ending their relationship or if a divorce is already in process.

 

However, staying together, even on a temporary basis, doesn't have to be a source of constant frustration. It's wise to instead focus on a few key tenets that can help to bring a more harmonious atmosphere into any home.

 

Keep Family Members Safe

Did you or an immediate family member recently travel to a place where Coronavirus is prevalent? Or, has one of your family members been exposed to a local case?

 

If so, then it's wise to take self-quarantine precautions. These include frequent handwashing, not using the same towels and utensils, not having visitors and staying at home. Ideally, self-quarantine also means not getting closer than six feet to any household member.

 

Stay in Touch with Matriarchs and Patriarchs

 

Sometimes, staying together doesn't involve in-person contact. Since the older members of society are particularly vulnerable to developing serious cases of COVID-19, it's vital to stay in touch with them. This means calling them on the phone, enjoying an online video chat or sending an email. If they need food or other supplies, offer to shop for them, then drop the groceries on their driveway or doorstep so as to avoid personal contact.

 

Remember that Family Is Forever

 

While this challenging time is temporary, it's critical to remember that family is forever. That is true even for families who are contemplating or going through a divorce.

 

The ties that you have forged with each other and your children are things that endure through pandemics and tragedies of all descriptions. When tempers get short, recall these long-term ties and how everyone in your family will benefit from nurturing and caring for these connections.

 

Find Activities for the Whole Family

 

By engaging the whole family in activities like a jigsaw puzzle or a board game, you create opportunities to learn more about each other and to cultivate a deeper appreciation for each member of the family. Table Topics is a particularly thought-provoking and fascinating game, and everyone loves a rousing game of Pictionary.

 

The COVID-19 pandemic will eventually subside. If you decide that staying together after this time is not feasible, then contact the Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971 to schedule your phone or video conference consultation.
 

The Difference Between Litigation and Divorce Mediation in New York

Divorce Mediation in New YorkIs divorce mediation in New York right for your family? It may be if you like the idea of ending your marriage in a less contentious manner.

Most people equate divorce with litigation. They envision themselves in a courtroom with a lawyer by their side and another lawyer beside their spouse each arguing and presenting their case before a judge, discussing some of the most intimate details of their lives, but it doesn't have to be that way.

While there are some instances in which it is appropriate to litigate a divorce, the majority of marriage dissolutions can be accomplished with less time and money and far less acrimony by engaging in mediation.

Rather than having a judge make decisions, which can make litigation unpredictable, mediation involves a neutral third party. It is the responsibility of the mediator to help the parties to arrive at mutually agreeable decisions with regard to child custody, support and many of the other components that factor into a divorce.

Whereas litigation creates an adversarial atmosphere, mediation tends to be a more amicable and less stressful process. Mediation also is the more economical choice, frequently costing thousands of dollars less so that the divorcing couple is left with greater financial stability.

Participants in mediation further may appreciate that the proceedings take place in the office of the mediator and are completely confidential. While court proceedings are a part of the public record, this is not the case with mediation. This process allows the parties to keep their private matters private, and many people prefer this.

Mediation also is a valuable tool for divorce because it puts the decision-making in the hands of the parties. This is especially critical when it comes to making choices for the couple's children. In the courtroom, the judge along with custody evaluators and experts may all weigh in on what's best for the children. Mediation preserves this power in the hands of the people who truly know what's best: The parents.

It's also worth considering that mediation typically takes far less time than litigation. Generally, this is better for the parents and the children both emotionally and physically. Going to court is stressful, time-consuming and expensive. Several months or years may be required to litigate all aspects of the divorce, but mediation can be accomplished in weeks or a few months.

If you want to learn more about divorce mediation in New York, contact Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971. Thanks to their mediation experience, they may be able to help you save time, money and distress.  And if you want to access our free online Jumpstart Guide to Divorce, then grab it here.

 

Why Mediation is the Best Option for a Peaceful and Harmonious Divorce

Peaceful and Harmonious Divorce Divorce is a painful life transition. While it's normal to experience negative emotions such as loss, fear, and anger, this doesn't mean that divorce has to be acrimonious.

It is possible to have a peaceful divorce. Keep in mind that "peaceful" is not the same thing as easy. Many challenges are inherent in amicable separations. Nonetheless, couples who resolve to respect themselves, each other and their children will find that they avoid many pitfalls.

Mediation has many advantages over litigation. It keeps the family out of the court, which translates to better relationships afterward. It's also settled more quickly, and it's always less expensive.

Another advantage is that it puts the couple in control. If they can work together, they have an opportunity to work toward real-world solutions that are ideal for their unique family.

Many couples also prefer mediation because it's more discrete. Anything that's litigated becomes public knowledge. Conversely, the proceedings involved with mediation remain confidential.

A harmonious divorce is hard work, but it is not impossible. It frequently begins with the couple deciding that they aren't going to blame each other. By the time you've made the decision to separate, a great deal has already been said and done. Blame doesn't serve a useful purpose during the divorce. Choosing to avoid blame is tough. However, it is a choice that is in your power to make, and it means moving forward with a more peaceful and harmonious outlook that will serve you and your family in the future.

If you want your divorce to be an amicable one, then it's also sensible to keep the big picture in mind. It requires the right mindset and choosing to focus on the end goal. And not letting minor and petty issues derail your good intentions. Divorce proceedings don't have to drag on for years, especially if you stay focused on what's really important. Things like your children, your health and the security of your financial standing are all more critical than punishing your former spouse.

If you want to learn more about why mediation is the best option for a peaceful and harmonious divorce, then contact the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to schedule a confidential consultation.

 

Why Gray Divorce Is Becoming More Common

Gray Divorce Many couples stay together for the sake of the kids and the financial ramifications that come with sending their kids to college.  Even if a couple is unhappy in their marriage, they are more likely to stay together because it is more “financially appealing” for the time being.  The thought of losing assets, having to live on one income, and potentially not being able to put the children through college can force couples to stay together.

 

When the kids grow up and leave the house or graduate from college, many couples find that they have nothing left to stay together for because they no longer have anything in common. 

When older adults find themselves in this situation, they are becoming part of a trend called “gray divorce.”

 

Gray divorce can be emotionally taxing, and it can take a toll on both mental and physical well-being. The struggles for men vs. women are slightly different.  For men, they end up feeling lonely and isolated as men generally do not have as many close friends as women do.

 

Women may struggle financially as they spend many years raising the kids and were homemakers vs. career women.  So, now when they do need to find a job, they may find that they may make less money or have to go into lower-paying industries.

 

How to Bounce Back from a Gray Divorce

 

Friends are going to be an incremental part of your healing process.  It is important to reach out to friends and make plans to get together for dinner or simply spend some quality time together talking. 

 

Because gray divorce comes with emotional tolls; your sleep may be compromised.  Focus on getting 6-8 hours of quality sleep.  If you are having difficulty sleeping at night, try listening to soothing music, taking a relaxing bath, and meditation.  Some mediation apps you can easily download on your phone or iPad are Headspace and Calm.  If you are still having difficulty sleeping after trying all these tactics, it may be time to talk to your primary care physician to see what they recommend.

 

Make sure you practice self-care.  Self-care means being easy on yourself and not blaming yourself for the marriage not working out.  It also means making time for yourself to do the things that make you happy and help you feel peaceful.  Divorce is difficult on anyone, but it can be extra taxing in older adults.  Take time to focus on healing and finding your true self.  

 

If you are considering a “gray divorce”, contact the Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.