Sabra Law Group Interview with Relationship Expert Vladimire Calixte

In this latest “Ask the Experts” blog series with Sabra Law Group, the law firm interviews New York based experts in child and marriage therapy. This particular interview is with Vladimire Calixte, Therapist, MA, CRC, LMHC, celebrity relationship therapist at Life Rebuilding in New York City. 

What are some ways parents going through a divorce can try to lessen their stress? 

“One of the most healthy ways parents going through a divorce can try to lessen their stress is to understand that with divorce comes grief. It's imperative to address the losses that come with going through a divorce. There's a saying: With change comes grief. Grieving is imperative as it allows everyone impacted by the divorce to process and to work through the ongoing and often multiple opposite emotions that arise. Grief allows parents to be radically honest about how they are feeling and why they are feeling this way. Finally, a vital practice when coping with loss and stress is to stock up on compassion. Although it's easier said than done, compassion for ourselves and others enables us to find ways to get through the most painful challenges.” 

What are some coping mechanisms for children suffering from the loss of a parent?

“Create an emotionally safe environment for children to be radically honest about what they are feeling through affirming, validating, and holding space. Children suffering from the loss of a parent need a safe way to work through very painful and often conflicting emotions.”

“Since our bodies keep score, we can help children navigate what they are feeling by inquiring about how their bodies are responding to the loss of a parent. A question like: Where in your body do you feel the sadness? What does it feel like?”

What are some things to look for when finding a great marriage or child therapist?

“I believe in the power of self-inquiry. As such, ask yourself the following:

1. Do you feel a genuine connection, which will allow you to feel safe to talk freely.

2. Cultural competence is a huge component. Additionally, does the marriage or child therapist show sensitivity toward your cultural background and values?

3. Does the therapeutic relationship feel like it is collaboratively? Are you in a partnership with your therapist?”

If you have a family law issue, contact the Sabra Law Group in Manhattan at (646) 472-7971. The firm’s expertise is in all forms of family law, such as alimony, divorce, prenuptial agreements, post-nuptial agreements, child custody battles, child support, domestic violence, and restraining orders.