Child Custody

5 Parenting Tips for Divorced Parents You Need to Know

The dissolution of a marriage is a difficult transition. For couples with children, the complications seem to never end as they meet the challenges of co-parenting. However, these challenges may be diminished with these parenting tips for divorced parents.

1. Build a New Relationship with Your Ex

It may be helpful to view your relationship with your ex-partner as a new, separate one. The co-parenting relationship isn't about you and your partner; it's about your children. This may make it easier to let go of old resentments.

2. Put the Kids' Interests First

Parents that continue to fight after a divorce create a stressful environment. Making an effort to put rancor behind helps children to move forward. Always remember that the well-being of your kids is more important than any disagreements you have with your ex-partner.

3. Be Consistent with Consequences

Too many parents who are splitting up let consequences for poor behavior slide. However, forgoing consequences condones misbehavior and encourages worse behavior. Stick to reasonable consequences, and talk with your children about healthier ways to express their feelings.

4. Stay Hopeful

Your family is going through changes. While some of these may be painful, others may be positive. No matter how bleak things may seem, there's room for hope. Your optimism is a wonderful thing to model for your children. It demonstrates your resilience in challenging situations, and that's a quality that will serve them well in their lives too.

5. Tame Your Emotions

Whenever you are angry or annoyed with your ex-partner, your first instinct may be to fly off the handle and go on the attack. However, this is rarely an effective coping mechanism. Keep a running list of grievances instead, and periodically review them. Most may seem trifling after just a few days. The ones that are of greater concern can be discussed reasonably and without damaging the co-parenting relationship.

If you want to learn more parenting tips for divorced parents, contact Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971. These legal professionals also can help you find an amicable resolution to your divorce proceedings. Contact a legal professional today at 646-472-7971 or set up a free phone consult using our scheduling link here.

What You Need to Know About Effective Co-Parenting After Divorce

Even though divorce may end the legal bond between you and your former spouse, you are still tethered forever if you have children together.

If you do have children, the most important consideration should be regarding their well-being and what is best for them. For many parents, co-parenting does not come naturally, nor is it easy to navigate this new territory. Co-parenting after divorce will come a lot easier if you follow the steps below.

Follow These Steps for Effective Co-Parenting with Your Ex

Show Some Flexibility When Necessary: Yes, there may be specific custody arrangements in place when it comes to who gets the children and when, however, know when to be flexible. There may be a time when your spouse has to be out of town on business unexpectedly or makes a request to switch the schedule for other reasons; be understanding and show some flexibility instead of being rigid. It is also important to be mindful and respectful of the schedule and to honor the pickup and drop off times.

Do Not Talk Bad About Your Ex-Spouse to Your Children: For those who do this, find that it only backfires on them. Your children are likely to tell the other parent and it will only create unnecessary friction. Furthermore, you are putting your children in the middle of your battles; which is not healthy for anyone.

Don’t Fight or Argue in Front of Your Children: Of course, there may be times when you and your ex don’t see eye to eye on something or end up having an argument; however, make sure that your children are not privy to listen in on these type of conversations. One way to do this is to acknowledge the matter that will require further discussion and set up a time when your children are not within earshot to have that conversation.

Foster Open Communication with Your Children: Create an environment that makes it easy for your children to share their thoughts, worries, and emotions. Make it clear to your children that they can tell you if they are not comfortable with the other parent or if the parent is somehow mistreating them. When your children know that you are willing to listen to them and they will not get in trouble for what they disclose, it will make it easier for them to open up.

If you are in the process of going through a divorce and need help with formulating an effective parenting plan or any other matters related to family law, contact Sabra Divorce Law today at (646) 472-7971.

How to Handle Divorce When Children Are Involved

It can be complicated to get divorced when children are involved. When children are involved in a divorce, the amount of topics and areas to sort out with your spouse substantially increase.

There are many factors to take into consideration. Decisions will have to be made pertaining to child support and child custody. It is also a good idea to come up with a parenting plan which outlines details of how the children will be cared for.

Follow the below tips to make the divorce process a bit easier when children are involved:

Try to stay on good terms with your spouse: it may be difficult to avoid arguments with your spouse, however, keep in mind that you will have to interact with them indefinitely. When children are involved, you will have to communicate with your spouse to coordinate parenting time with your children, and as they grow older, to coordinate their after school activities and other aspects of parenting. Imagine what it would be like for your children if they were to see you arguing with your (ex)spouse all the time versus if you and your (ex)spouse were to become masterful at co-parenting. Do your best to preserve a cooperative relationship with your spouse so it makes it easier on the children. It may not be easy, and there are many books that discuss this topic.
Be mindful of the appropriateness of “adult” issues and exposure to your children. The details of your divorce are painful for you, it could only be even more painful to your children should they learn of them. You may be tempted to vent to your children, however, it would best to protect them by withholding the details of the divorce and reserving any such thoughts, comments and venting for a session with a therapist or life or divorce coach. Be mindful not to leave divorce papers out in the open where your children may get access to read them or leaving your computer open where your children might see that email discussing some of your divorce matters.
Determine an effective way of co-parenting: try to have respect for your spouse’s decisions and keep an open mind. You may not agree with every decision your spouse makes, however, make an effort to see it from their point of view.
Get outside assistance: seek assistance from a specialist who can help you. The specialist should be trained in child psychology. This will help your child get through this difficult time if they are having trouble dealing with all of the changes that come with divorce.

Questions About how to Handle Divorce When Children Are Involved?

Contact Sabra Law Group today if you need assistance with parenting plans or divorce mediation. You can reach Sabra and schedule an appointment at (646) 472-7971.

Handling Holiday Child Custody Arrangements in Manhattan

With the holidays quickly approaching, there are so many things to handle. One of the most important things to handle is child custody arrangements for the holidays.

Below are some tips on handling child custody arrangements in Manhattan

Plan ahead: never wait until the last minute to sort out child custody arrangements with your ex. The sooner you start planning, the better. Hopefully, you already have a written schedule of custody for your children throughout the year. However, for some reason, if you don’t, the first step should be to agree on a schedule for child custody.
Take your children’s wishes into consideration: If your children are old enough to be in middle school or high school, they may have some excursions in mind. Ask your children if there is something specific they would enjoy doing during the winter break. This will help you plan accordingly when it comes to custody. Your child may have a friend’s birthday party they want to attend and you book a family vacation without consulting them; they will not be happy.
Don’t micro-manage what your ex does when he/she is with your children. If you are too busy constantly nagging your ex, you will be missing quality time with your children. It is hard to tell your ex who to bring around or not when your children are over, so choose your battles wisely.
Be more concerned with making your own winter plans, rather than be obsessed about what your ex is doing. Your ex may have an extravagant trip planned with his/her significant other. If you show jealously or try to interfere with their plans, it will only create more conflict. The holidays are stressful enough without creating unnecessary conflict. Spend your time focusing on your plans and what you can do with the children to have a memorable holiday season. Create your own experiences and memories that are just as fabulous as your ex’s activities.
When you do have to see your ex, be polite and respectful. Even if your ex can frustrate you, don’t let it be seen. The more you show your frustration, the more your ex will irritate you. Set the example and be the kind of person that you would want exemplify for your children. It is essential to remember that your children may be in the background, listening to your conversations.

If you need to alter your child custody arrangements in Manhattan, call Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971. And we can help you with creating or altering parenting plans. Give us a call today.

How to Determine if a Parenting Plan in New York Can Be Changed

While there may be many complicated issues to work out in a divorce, the one thing that most couples can agree on is that they both want what is best for the children.

In order to ensure the welfare of the children, it is imperative to have a parenting plan that has been carefully orchestrated. When drafting a parenting plan, it is important to consider the long-term and not just the short-term.

Once a Parenting Plan is Finalized with the Divorce Decree Can It Be Changed?

The parenting plan can only be changed under certain circumstances; for example: both parents can agree to modify an existing parenting plan whenever they choose to do so.

One of the simplest ways to modify an existing parenting plan is for both parents to agree on modifying the plan. If you feel that the current parenting plan does not meet the best needs of the children or is lacking certain factors, consider having an open and honest conversation with your spouse to see if you can come to an agreement on the suggested modifications. Once you can both agree on the modifications, the process is quite simple:

Draft a new parenting plan
Both parties need to sign the new plan
Then it has to go to the court for their signoff
Once the court signs off on the new plan, it becomes official

Can a Parenting Plan Be Changed to Reflect a New Schedule or Changes in Schedule?

Yes, a parenting plan can be changed due to schedule conflicts. Whether the schedule conflict has to do with one parent’s new job or a child transferring schools, it may require a change to the parenting plan that once was a good fit but now no longer serves its purpose.

If the Changes to a Parenting Plan Are Significant, There Must Be Valid Reasons

Changes cannot be made to a parenting plan just because one parent decides that they want changes. There must be good, valid reasons that directly impact the children’s best interests.

Need to Make Changes to an Existing Parenting Plan, Consult a Mediation Attorney

If you need to make changes to an existing parenting plan and need some guidance, it is best to consult a knowledgeable mediation attorney who can guide you along the way. Contact Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.

Manhattan Child Custody Lawyer Explains Drafting an Effective Parenting Plan

Parenting during and after a divorce can be a challenge even in the best of circumstances. What makes a parenting plan so beneficial in these situations is that you and your ex-spouse get to set the parameters of the plan without allowing the court to impose its own constraints. This means that you have greater control over your parenting decisions.

There will necessarily be compromise involved in drafting an effective parenting plan. The more that both sides can agree to some flexibility in terms of scheduling and daily arrangements, the less time and money you will spend ironing out small details. The most important aspects of the plan to decide on are the health, educational and well-being decisions on behalf of your child. Setting clear guidelines as to how the parents will communicate and act with respect to major decisions in the child's upbringing makes for a much easier transition for all parties involved.

An effective parenting plan will also include some contingency planning. This means setting some guidelines for what will happen in the event of an emergency and how parents will contact each other if something happens to the child. Having a plan in place ahead of time can hedge off any miscommunications and misunderstanding about how emergencies will be handled. These are some of the most important things for the parents to agree upon at the outset.

Manhattan Divorce Mediator Shares How to Protect Your Children’s Confidence After a Divorce

Most divorces are not as simple and straight-forward as we would like them to be. Divorce can be complicated and involve quite a bit of conflict, but the worst part is that your children will go through so many emotions during their parents’ divorce. It is imperative to support your children during this stressful time and ensure that their confidence and self-esteem is not shattered so that they maintain their self-confidence both during as well as after divorce.

Conflicts that commonly arise during a high pressure divorce can also cause stress in children, as a result that stress can impact their social skills, confidence, grades, and even friendships.

Follow These 5 Tips to During Divorce to Protect Your Children’s Confidence

Don’t put your children in the middle of the divorce: during a divorce there are many issues that need to be sorted through amongst the parents.Don’t make your children the messenger if you do not wish to communicate with your spouse, instead seek the assistance of a savvy Manhattan divorce mediator who can mediate on your behalf. It is crucial to keep your children out of conversations that have to do with the custody battle, visitation schedule, or shedding a less than positive light on your spouse.
Make time for your children:yes, the demands of work, dealing with divorce matters and everyday life can get in the way, however, it is more important now than ever to be there for your children and make time for fun activities.Children need to feel secure and loved and it is important to have family time for fun activities.
Get your children more involved in extra-curricular activities: make sure your children can pursue extra-curricular activities at church or school that they are passionate about.This also allows them to be surrounded with their peers and keeps them active; staying active will make for a healthier mind and body.
Show your children that you appreciate them:remember to praise your children on their grades, after school activities such as sports, band or any other activity that they may be involved in.Children need validation and appreciation for their efforts.It is important to spend time talking to your children on a daily basis and determining where their interests reside and also accessing when they need help.
Learn to resolve disagreements with your spouse in a positive manner: Remember, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.If you need to have a conversation that is difficult with your spouse, carefully think it through before speaking and then approach it in a calm manner.You never know when your children may be eavesdropping on your conversation and it is best to maintain calm.

Contact a Manhattan Divorce Mediator if You Need Assistance

If you are having difficulty sorting through difficult issues that arise during a divorce, contact an experienced Manhattan divorce mediator who can assist you with coming to an amicable resolution. To learn more about divorce mediation, contact Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971.

How to Develop a Parenting Plan in New York That Works

If you are going through a divorce in New York and have children, it is important to develop a comprehensive parenting plan so that the parenting of the children is clearly outlined.

There are two parts to an effective parenting plan; part 1 involves establishing custody and visitation and part 2 involves everyday schedule and routine activities of the children.

Part I. Establishing Custody

Determine what the normal schedule will be:the first step in this process is to figure out who the child will live with and how often the other parent will get to spend time with and visit with the child (also referred to as parenting time).There are a couple of different scenarios that can occur:joint custody or sole custody.
Create a plan for how to deal with holidays and vacations:determine which holidays will be spent with which parent.It is also important to determine a plan for travel and vacations.Will one parent allow the other to take the child out of the country for summer vacation? If one parent gets to see the child on the weekends, will that parent make an exception for Father’s Day weekend and let the child spend the weekend with his/her dad?
Allow for special circumstances:there may be instances in which the child may be sick and it may be best for the child to remain at home and not be sent to the other parent.For example, the child may want to attend a friend’s birthday party that is closer to one parent than the other so it would make more sense for the child to remain with the parent closest to the party.
Set guidelines for who you trust around your child or not:the first concern should be the safety and welfare of your child, so it may be best to outline who you allow your child to be around and who you do not.
Determine how the child will be transported from one parent to the next:will the child be dropped off or will the non-custodial parent be picking up the child?

Need Help Developing a Parenting Plan in New York That Works?

Contact the Sabra Law Group for a confidential consultation on developing an effective parenting plan at (646) 472-7971. You can also check out Part II. In our next blog that will cover establishing everyday activities and normal schedule of a parenting plan.

How to Determine if Your Child is Having a Hard Time Dealing with Divorce

Some parents are so caught up in the divorce process and their own sadness that they may tend to overlook the fact that their child is also struggling with the thought of their family being torn apart.

If your child is old enough to truly understand the meaning of divorce, it is likely that he or she will not accept this change in family dynamics easily.

Below are some warning signs to be aware of:

Withdrawal: if your child has suddenly lost interest in hanging out with friends or family members that they are normally fond of, this could be a sign that your child is suffering from dealing with the divorce.
Sudden Outbursts: your child has episodes of yelling and screaming that seem to come out of nowhere. It seems that every little thing now sets your child off, whereas, in the past your child was easy going and happy-go-lucky.
Trouble Sleeping: stress can disrupt normal sleeping patterns and it is important to take note if your child is complaining about not being able to sleep at night.
Nightmares: if your child is complaining about nightmares, subconscious fears of loss and abandonment can cause nightmares.
Harming Oneself: this one can be a cry for help and/or attention. Your child may be trying to tell you that he or she needs more of your time and attention
Grades Start to Drop: if your child normally is a straight “A” student and now is getting “C” grades, this can be an indicator that your child is distracted and not able to focus on school activities. Make sure you attend parent teacher conferences and take the time to ask your child how their day was at school.

There can be many other symptoms as well, but the above are some of the most common indicators that your child is struggling with the concept of divorce.

If you are having a hard time dealing with divorce and need legal guidance, contact the Sabra Law Group today for a confidential consultation at (646) 472-7971.

How to Handle a Custody Battle Over Your Pet in New York

The new custody battle is one over pet custody; if it wasn’t hard enough determining custody or a custody arrangement for a child, now more and more pet owners are finding themselves in a predicament of a pet custody battle.

Although animals are considered property in the eyes of the law at this time, some courts are beginning to recognize that one's relationship with their pet, whether it is a cat, dog, or bird etc., is very different from that of furniture, jewelry, or a car.

Some Useful Tips On Preparing for Your Custody Battle

If you are the one that purchased the animal from a breeder or animal shelter, make sure you have documentation that shows proof that the animal was adopted by you.
In the event that you are not the one that originally purchased or adopted the animal, there is still hope for your case. Always save all receipts for veterinary care, licensing records, receipts for grooming, dog or pet training classes, food, or any other necessities for the animal.
If you are the one that walks the dog on a daily basis and is the primary caretaker, it is best to have some witnesses that can validate this claim.
Be fair: it is important to be considerate of your spouse’s attachment to the pet, even if they are not the one that originally adopted or purchased the pet. Consider sharing custody of your pet with your spouse instead of shutting them out of the pet’s life. It is also less stressful for your pet and helps alleviate any abandonment issues.

Consider Mediation for Your Pet Custody Battle

Just as one would seek the legal counsel of a skilled mediator in a divorce, a mediator can also help you with your pet custody battle so it doesn’t end up going to court. Once it goes to court, it is difficult to come to an amicable arrangement with your spouse – again, since most courts consider animals to be property.

In a recent mediation in our office, a couple reached a resolution that enabled one spouse to maintain custody of the pet dog, and arrangements were worked out so that the other spouse would have regular visits with the pet dog.

Contact a New York Divorce Mediation Attorney Today

If you would like to mediate the custody of your pet so that you can keep your pet in New York City, consult an experienced mediation attorney today by contacting the Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971.

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