Agree on Some

“We don’t agree on everything, but we do agree that we don’t want to go to court – what do we do next?”

So, if you agree on some of the issues (or even if you don’t agree on any of them right now), you can still get divorced. There are other alternatives. You do not have to do this alone and try to figure it out. And you do not have to “lawyer up” and head to court to get divorced.

Other options available include mediation and collaborative law.

These are similar, but they are also a little bit different.

In both instances, you meet together in an office with a mediator and you work to resolve your differences relating to the issues necessary to file for divorce. In other words, if you both want to get divorced in New York, you can, but only if you both agree upon:

  • equitable distribution of the assets
  • spousal support, if applicable

And, if there are children under the age of 21, then also:

  • parenting and decision-making for your child/children
  • parenting time (a/k/a visitation) with your child/children
  • child support

In a mediation session, you would meet together with your spouse and the mediator. It is typically an informal setting at a table, something like this:


In collaborative law, you would meet together with your spouse and the mediator in addition to each of your respective matrimonial attorneys, also referred to as consulting attorneys. The setup could look something like this:


In both instances, the divorce mediator would facilitate a conversation to help move your disagreement into a positive and more productive direction so that you can both reach an agreement on all of the issues outlined above.

To find out more about mediation or collaborative law, click here.

If this is a format/option/strategy that you and your spouse would like to try, then give us a call at 646-472-7971 to get started.