What to Do When Your Fiancée is Against a Prenup

 It's becoming more common for one partner in a romantic relationship to ask for a prenuptial agreement before saying "I do." Unfortunately, the other partner frequently is blindsided by the request. They may panic and wonder if their partner has no faith in the impending marriage.

If your prospective spouse is against a prenup, it's important that neither of you panic. Frequently, the other partner's reaction is instinctive. This may be because you recently got engaged. It's a romantic time when everything is blooming flowers and violin music. A prenup may seem pessimistic and businesslike.

If your future spouse is saying that they are against a prenup, then it's vital that you carefully and thoughtfully articulate your reasons for wanting one. Do you have assets that you want to protect? Do you have debts for which you don't want your spouse to be responsible? Perhaps there are children from prior relationships that you want to ensure are adequately provided for no matter what.

Whatever your reasons, asking for a prenup is a practical acknowledgment of the business side of marriage. It's not romantic. Nonetheless, it may provide you with a way to protect you, your spouse and any children that you may have. 

The better you can articulate your reasons for wanting a prenup, the smoother the conversation will go. If possible, ask your future spouse to visit a lawyer to talk about the pertinent laws and the options available. 

Above all, consider this an opportunity to plan for the financial future of your family. Highlight this to your prospective husband or wife, and talk about your dreams for what you want in the future. This is an excellent opportunity to discuss the business side that's an inherent part of marriage. If you and your partner can come to terms on this, then it's a good sign that future negotiations between you will be similarly successful.

As Sabra tells her prenup clients, “you are the CEOs of your marriage” and it is important that you step up to the plate and take responsibility for running the business side of marriage the way you would if you entered into a business partnership.  Like a business, you will have overhead expenses and a budget and if these are not discussed and the roles clearly identified, you could be setting yourselves up for hardship, and even, failure.  So start your married life on the right foot, by getting clear about your finances together.  After all, you are planning to be romantic partners as well as business partners for life, why not give yourselves the advantage of being one of the lifelong successful ones?

Whether your fiancée is against a prenup or not, you need reliable legal advice. Call the Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to discuss your options.