Simplifying the Divorce Process in New York

Divorce does not have to be complicated.  There are ways to plan for a smooth divorce process in New York. The key to simplifying the divorce process is to be well prepared.  In addition, a little cooperation goes a long way. 

There are many advantages to a simple divorce.  Imagine saving more time, money, and having a less stressful divorce.  It is all possible if you follow the below steps. 

Follow the Steps Below to Ensure a Peaceful and Simple Divorce

  1. Approach and sit down with your spouse and discuss the fact that your relationship is ending.  Talk about the things that will need to be resolved between you in order to put closure on the relationship and move on.  Typically, the subjects to be resolved are (i) important decisions that will impact your children, (ii) division of assets and debts accumulated during the marriage, (iii) support of the children and support of the lesser monied spouse.
  2. Be prepared to have several conversations to discuss and resolve each issue.  Consider having a separate conversation for each topic. 
  3. Be prepared in advance of your meetings by making a list of all assets and debts and proposed plan for how you would like them to be distributed.
  4. Discuss your non-negotiables with your spouse and also be aware of what their non-negotiables are.  Having some insights on what is and isn’t negotiable will yield a quicker resolution and a smoother divorce process.
  5. Discuss parenting schedules and living arrangements for the children.  If appropriate, involve the children in some of the conversations or get their input and feedback regarding where they would like to live or when they want to be with either parent and then discuss together taking their opinion into account.  The best interest of the child is the standard that any decision affecting the children will be measured against.
  6. There may be certain items that are “sticking points” and are difficult for you to resolve on your own.  Consult a New York divorce mediator who can help you resolve the more difficult issues with you.
  7. While it may be difficult or challenging, being respectful, thoughtful and making an effort to try to understand your spouse’s point of view (even if it is contrary to your view) will go a long way toward reaching a resolution together outside of court.
  8. Write a list of all of the agreements that you reach together and then bring that list to an experienced divorce attorney who can help you draft the legal papers that will need to be filed and submitted to a Judge.
  9. If your spouse will accept the divorce papers willingly, then you may be able to keep your divorce civil and “friendly” rather than hiring a process server to serve the papers, which is typically perceived as adversarial. 
  10. Getting a divorce and ending a relationship is very emotional.  It is a trauma and it is easy to blame your spouse or try to rationalize what could have been done to fix or repair the relationship.  Rather than playing the “blame game”, consider meeting with a therapist or a divorce coach who can help you to understand your feelings and emotions.  This way when you need to discuss the terms of your divorce, you can do so from a rational rather than an emotional position.  When people make emotional decisions in their divorce, they tend to regret some of the decisions they made months later after the divorce is finalized and at that point it is often too late to make changes to the outcome.

If you need assistance simplifying the divorce process in New York or you and your spouse are ready to meet with a divorce mediator to resolve any outstanding unresolved issues, contact Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971.   Sabra can assist you with parenting plans, child custody, divorce and related family law matters.   


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