How to Determine When to Get Divorced and When to Give it Another Shot

A moment arrives in nearly every marriage when at least one of the partners wonders if it's time to get divorced. Perhaps this moment has been a long time coming.

Or, perhaps this moment arrives in a split second when one partner discovers a betrayal by the other partner.

Regardless of how it occurs, the decision is not clear for most couples. This generally is because they are torn between going their separate ways or giving their relationship another shot.

How do you know if the choice to get divorced is right for you?

There are no objectively right or wrong answers. Instead, you and your spouse will probably have to do some soul searching before you reach a decision.

For some couples, it makes sense to set a time limit to try reconnecting with each other. Usually, a period of about 90 days is enough, at which time you can reassess whether or not you both want to keep trying or go your separate ways.

During this time, it may be helpful to act like you're dating again. Set aside special evenings and weekends that are just for the two of you. Try a new restaurant, take a road trip or dance the night away. It's an opportunity to go back to the way the two of you interacted when you were first in love. For some couples, this rekindles a connection.

At the end of this 90-day period, it's time to reassess how you feel. Has progress been made toward reigniting your relationship? Or, do you find yourself longing for your freedom?

If you're not certain, then it's time for some serious soul searching. This may entail meditation, journaling, meeting with a therapist or talking the situation over with friends or family that you trust.

When you're trying to decide whether or not to go your separate ways, the feelings of both partners are critical. If one of you decides that they are definitely ready to move on alone, it's important to honor those feelings. The partner who might prefer to stay in the marriage is encouraged to seek counseling and the support of loved ones to help them move forward.

In situations where abuse or neglect is present, then it truly may be the best choice to get divorced without taking another shot. Contact the Sabra Law Group at 646-472-7971 to schedule a consultation.