I considered mediation because it was a less intrusive, less confrontational way to get divorced when both parties wanted a divorce and wanted it done in the most civil, efficient way possible. Litigation seemed so “big” and nasty to me. I have found that mediation allows both parties to speak about their wants and needs with the divorce without the harsh formality that litigated divorce seems to have. You can actually deal with your husband or wife, with a third party there to help, instead of the long, impersonal process of lawyers dealing with each other on your behalf. You feel like you are an empowered part of your divorce and it is significantly more cost effective than litigation. While the mediation process took longer than I thought it would, I don’t think the length of time was negative – we were able to draft a divorce agreement that was incredibly unique to our situation and spoke exactly what we wanted about our future apart and our future with our children. Honestly, I had no idea what to expect or what to even want out of a divorce agreement until we started the process. It is not without bumps and snags, but as I can’t imagine having to have lawyers and court dates and all the fuss and bother around litigation, I think it was the best choice for my situation and I would recommend mediation to others considering divorce.
– Katherine Grandey

Being that we have two young children together our main goal was to keep this process as simple and painless as possible. Having gone through my parents’ divorce at a young age I can remember the fights and the constant hatred that filled our house as they were separating. The one thing I was determined to do is not let that kind of environment make its way into my and my family’s home. I realize now that it is possible to still have a family with a mother and father and have them be in two different places. That doesn’t mean that their children should have to experience that difference as a negative. The most important thing for both of us is to make sure that our children know we love them and would do anything for them. They should never be made to think that our separation had anything to do with them. I felt like the best way to keep that horrible environment I had to deal with when I was a child is to use mediation as our means to divorce.  Mediation certainly wasn’t easy but it was much better than the alternative.  When looking for a mediator try and find someone you feel you can trust and seems to put equal favor in both party’s interests. And remember, that person is not there to give you the better deal, they are there to record your collective decisions as to how the divorce will be handled and the terms at which you both agree.
– Andy Byers