Using Parenting Plans to Define a Post-Divorce Relationship in New York

Using Parenting Plans to Define a Post-Divorce Relationship in New York

For many couples going through a divorce or recovering shortly after a divorce decree has been granted, the parenting plans that New York requires might seem like a bureaucratic imposition.  After all, just because your romantic relationship with your spouse has ended in divorce does not mean that you suddenly do not know how to be a parent to your children.

However, strong parenting plans in New York divorces serve a much broader purpose than simply giving the court latitude to protect the interests of children in a divorce.  Most people would be well advised to consider such plans a framework on which to redefine their relationship with their former spouse.

From Spouse to Partner

In many ways, when a couple has children, there is no true end to their relationship.  After the divorce papers are signed and the decree is issued, they remain in each other’s lives as they both raise the children and make decisions about their welfare.  It is a radical shift in how they interact – from couple to partners.

The parenting plans that the State of New York requires are an opportunity to start fresh and create a coherent, agreed-upon framework for this new partnership.  Divorced couples often have no reference point on how to interact with their former spouse except as a romantic partner.  The parenting plan can act as a written “constitution” for the new arrangement, clearly laying out shared responsibilities and other details.

As with every partnership, the more clearly roles and duties are outlined, the less likely disagreements, conflicts, and resentments will fester and burst into negative action.  While some may resent the idea that they need a contract to ensure they perform their parental duties, parenting plans are more like detailed roadmaps for the unchartered new territory of post-divorce co-parenting.