Keys to a Lasting Marriage: Win-Win Communication in Your Marriage
Communication is the cornerstone of relationships, both personal and professional. The way that people communicate with their partners and their children reveals much about the value they place on those relationships.
When you are having a conversation with someone that you love, do you really stop and listen? That means taking your focus away from other things like washing the dishes or finishing the taxes so that you can really focus on what your loved one is saying to you.
Too often, communication between partners and between parents and children gets taken for granted. A busy schedule leads to multi-tasking, which means it's not possible to be truly present for a conversation.
Many psychologists and counselors believe that a lasting marriage depends upon healthy communication. In fact, they may refer to this as win-win communication, meaning that both participants benefit from the conversation. This doesn't always mean that you get everything you want, but it does mean that you are heard and that your position is clear. Moreover, it means that your partner has been heard and understood as well.
Whether you are devoted to building a lasting marriage or want to craft a healthier relationship with your ex-partner, it's helpful to spend some time reflecting on how you communicate with each other. Do you truly focus on the speaker and try to appreciate what they are saying or are you distracted by coming up with a reply? If your answer is the latter one, then it's time to slow down and really listen.
Try to be as "in the moment" as you can, limiting distractions and keeping your mind from wandering to other topics. Consider limited use of reflecting back to the speaker what you heard, as this can help to clear up misunderstandings as well as provide the initial speaker with an opportunity to clarify their meaning.
Additionally, pay close attention to non-verbal cues, both your own and your partner's tone of voice can reveal a great deal about the emotional state of the speaker and so can the way they are standing. Are they closed off with folded arms or do they look comfortable and relaxed? This can help you to formulate a more thoughtful and meaningful response.
Contact Sabra Law Group at (646) 472-7971 to get more tips and “scripts” about win-win communication whether you are considering divorce, are already separated or are deep into the divorce process.