Choosing a New York Divorce Mediator with Experience

As with nearly anything, it is better to hire a divorce mediator with experience than one without experience.  Depending on what your divorce looks like, you may need a New York divorce mediator with a lot of experience; for example, if your case is a messy, complex one where communication is near nonexistent, hiring a divorce mediator is a good choice in and of itself, but one with a lack of experience is not likely to be particularly helpful.

Divorce mediators should be neutral, fair, practical, and understanding – that’s a given as it is part of their training.  Moreover, their primary field of study and practice should be divorce mediation.  It is common for divorce mediators to be attorneys first and mediators as a side practice.  While this does not necessarily make their mediation skills useless or fraudulent, it is advisable to find divorce mediators that focus exclusively on mediation first.  Mediators who are concerned with only mediation are likely to have a stronger skill set and more experience.

What does it take to become an expert?  There are those that say that it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill.   Yet, that rule was debunked a few years ago when it was revealed that “deliberate practice” and focused attention while practicing is the crucial difference.   So, finding a mediator who practices his or her skill regularly is more meaningful than one who has “logged” many hours over a long period of time.   Experts keep learning and perfecting their craft.

It is easy to get caught up in factors like cost when you are looking for a divorce mediator.  While expenses are obviously important to consider, other things like qualifications, ongoing training, mediation style, and previous experience should all be deciding factors when it comes to choosing a divorce mediator.

Laws regarding marriage and separation can differ from state to state, so a New York divorce mediator should have plenty of experience and knowledge of divorce proceedings in New York specifically.  As you are looking for a mediator, ask about their experience and training and make sure that they have enough of a background in their field to help with the specific details and quirks of your case.  No two divorces happen exactly the same way, and a good divorce mediator will be able to use their experience to adapt to your needs and offer the best help possible.

Sabra Sasson is an attorney-mediator who uses the structure of mediation in her unique 4-step process that she has developed during the past decade.  After the couple has reached all of the decisions through that process, she puts all of the agreements into writing so that the couple can quickly file for divorce without the unnecessary court appearances and nasty motions involved in litigated divorces.  Sabra Sasson is also the author of the upcoming book The Harmonious Divorce:  The 4 Step Process to Uncoupling.   Learn more at the Firm’s website, or contact the office right now at 646-472-7971.

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