Working Together While Seeking a Divorce


Although it may seem impossible, approaching the divorce process in a collaborative manner with your soon-to-be ex-spouse will provide a number of benefits to your entire family, especially your children. Though you will no doubt feel a wide range of emotions as you go through the divorce process, if you make an effort to remain civil toward your spouse, your case will progress much more smoothly.

If you have children, the way you handle your divorce sets the stage for co-parenting over the next several years. By expressing a willingness to work together with your spouse to finalize your divorce, your relationship will be much more civil than if the two of you had fought a courtroom battle. During court, the parties focus on who should “win” each issue, with each party usually saying hurtful things about the other. After such a trial, the parties’ relationship may be permanently damaged. Therefore, it is more beneficial to collaborate and come together to work through the issues in the case.

Your children will also fare much better after the divorce if you and your spouse remained civil throughout. All of us have heard stories about how a child was affected by the parents’ divorce: they suffered physical symptoms of stress, they felt as though they had to choose between the parents, and the divorce impacted their adult relationships. Certainly, every parent wants to save the children from such a negative experience. By remaining peaceful during the divorce, your children will be protected during this difficult transition.

Of course, working cooperatively with your spouse during your divorce will be good for your own peace of mind now, and in the future. Years from now when you reflect on your divorce it may not sit well with your conscience to have behaved badly.  Besides, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, so approaching divorce diplomatically is beneficial overall.

If you or someone that you know is interested in learning more about mediation or collaborative divorce, please contact Sabra Sasson Esq at 646-472-7971.

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