Learning to Trust Friends During and After Divorce in New York

If you are going through a difficult divorce, it may leave you feeling lost, frustrated and incapable of trusting others. During this stressful time, you may seek to turn to friends that you feel comfortable confiding in.

If you and your spouse had friends in common and now those same friends are taking sides, your friendships will definitely be tested.  Many thoughts are going through your mind, such as, “how can you confide in a mutual friend without that friend relaying your feelings back to your spouse?”

In the beginning, all of your personal friends may be supportive and state that they will be there for you and are there to support you during the tough times. What they may not be telling you is that if your divorce drags on for years, they may not want to hear about it anymore. It may seem that suddenly “your divorce” has become a taboo topic. 

There may be some exceptions to your friends abandoning you if your divorce drags on for years; those exceptions may be friends that you have known your entire life and they have been there for you in the past when you needed them and vice versa. These are the type of friends that you want to turn to when times get tough. It is also important to not take their friendship for granted. Friendship is a two-way street, this means you must also nurture the friendship and be supportive and understanding of what they are going through in their lives. 

Evaluate which friends you can trust with your deepest, darkest secrets and which friends you cannot trust. Follow your instincts and intuition to guide you along the way. Confiding in people for emotional support is different from seeking advice and guidance.

Be cautious about “advice” you might receive from well-meaning friends and family who may be inclined to tell you all about what they would do if they were in your situation, or what it was like for them or other’s divorce that they “heard” about.  Keep in mind that circumstances are different in every divorce, no two situations are identical, even the smallest factual difference can mean a radically different outcome, laws change, the applicability of the law may differ depending upon the State, the Court, or the Judge appointed to the case.

Surrounding yourself with friends and family whom you can confidently confide in will be helpful to your mental well-being and can help keep you strong throughout a lengthy challenging divorce. Those relationships can help pick you up, re-energize you and bring fun back into your life where it may be lacking or where your divorce feels like it is consuming every ounce of your time and energy.

Here are some tips to regaining trust in others and maintaining balance.

Follow This Simple Process to Regain Your Trust:

  1. Disclose small bits of information and gauge what the reaction is from your friends and/or family
  2. If you feel that your friends or family are supportive rather than judgmental, then:
  3. Proceed to share more information with them
  4. If they offer their help and support, do not have too much pride to turn them down
  5. Realize that just because you had a bad experience with your spouse that not everyone will treat you the same way
  6. Be open to meeting new people and making new friends

Dealing With Divorce in New York? 

If you are going through a divorce in New York, do not hesitate to consult a New York divorce mediation attorney who may be able to help you with some of the challenges that come with divorce. Contact the Sabra Law Group today at (646) 472-7971 for a confidential consultation.

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